Olivia
It’d been two days since Javier walked away from me without explanation. I tried to call him but it was sent straight to the voicemail. He didn’t pick up. He ignored my messages.
I knew he was shocked. He never expected I would know from someone else, from Blake. Not directly from him. Javier wanted to tell me himself when he was ready and Blake just messed everything up.
I never thought that was Javier’s past. To work as a porn star. No wondered he said he wasn’t proud of it. That was the only way for him to survive after he was out of the orphanage. Well, he had the looks, he had the body, maybe he was good at bed as well. He was doing a good job.
I was surprised but I would never judge him with something bad. I just shared my feeling about Blake and he didn’t mind with it. But he knew it directly from my mouth, unlike him. But still…I won’t look at him differently. He was still…Javier.
“Hey, Liv?” I heard Karen called me as I blinked and looked at her. Finding her looking at me worriedly. “You’re okay?”
I cleared my throat. “Yeah, I’m okay.” I couldn’t tell her about Javier. Not now. That was his privacy although I knew Karen won’t share it with anybody but I hadn’t heard the explanation directly from Javier. “It’s just…I’ve told Javier about how I feel about Blake.”
“Really? How?”
“Well, Javier and Blake got into an argument last Friday, at his party. Blake challenged him and Javier snapped. I told him after we got home, the next morning.”
“The next morning? Are you…” She eyed me suspiciously.
I shook my head. “No, Karen. He stayed with me until morning but nothing happened. I just didn’t want to be alone so I asked Javier to keep me company and everything went mad right after.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I’ve told him Blake used to be my stepfather. He was the one who hurt me so much and…” I paused, confused on how to continue.
“He found out you’re in love with Blake?” I nodded my head slowly. “And how he went through with it?”
I looked down at my plate. My still fully plate dishes. We were visiting a new café near the school. It just opened on Saturday and Karen said she wanted to try after school. The dishes looked delicious from the menu and I would like to try them. But I couldn’t even get into the third spoon because my mind was stuck about what happened on Saturday.
About Javier. “He’s too nice, Karen. And he’s too good for me.” I stared back at her. She was waiting for me to continue. “He accepted it and willing to take risks. He’s willing to risk his heart to make me fall in love with him completely,” I explained where I could feel the back of my eyes stung, ready to cry. “I don’t know if I could do this anymore.” I lowered my eyes and chewed my bottom lip, trying to hold back the tears.
“Have you ever thought this would happen?” I turned to her again. “I might support whatever your decision is but I thought you have thought everything through.” Karen sounded…mad?
“I have, Karen.”
She scoffed. “Then, why you wanted to cry when things don’t go according to what you wanted? You should have known this might happened and you have to be ready to face the consequences.” Her words stunned me in place. “Not everything will go according to what you wanted, Liv. I understand you wanted to run from Blake, I don’t want you to be hurt again as well as Javier. But if you’re being this fucking wishy-washy over guys, you don’t deserve any of them.” And her statement just pierced my heart.
You don’t deserve any of them.
“Karen? What’s going on to you?”
“What’s going on to me?” she laughed. “I wanted to help you! I tried to make you realize how cruel the world is and you are not a kid anymore! You’re fucking eighteen, Olivia! Grow some balls!” she shouted as other customers from the other tables were looking at us. But my eyes remained on my best friend sitting in front of me and I could see she wanted to cry.
When Karen was being like this, something happened to her and it frustrated her. “Karen, calm down.”
“I fucking can’t!”
“Karen, please, don’t shout. People are looking at us.”
“Fucking let them!” I knew she was not drunk, but she was out of control. This would happen either when she was drunk or she was upset about something. Then she stood up and collected her things.
“Karen, please. Don’t go.”
“Leave me alone, Olivia. I have things I need to take care of. You should too.” She turned her back on me but slightly turned back again and added, “Don’t let your ego taken over you, Liv.” And she left. I saw her went to the cashier and pulled some cash. She gave the money to the cashier person and walked out. It didn’t take long until my phone chimed and it was a message from Karen saying she had paid my share as well and asked me to do the right thing.
I couldn’t believe that just happened. I rarely fought with Karen and usually, we would get over within the next five seconds. This one would probably take days, maybe weeks. Oh, God, I hoped not.
But it all because of me. Because I couldn’t make myself choose who I wanted to end up with. I was scared to hurt anyone but maybe…I wanted to save myself. Karen was right. I let my ego taken over me. Because I was scared. I was being selfish. I was being a kid.
I sat there for another half an hour, leaving my dishes untouched until I had decided. I had to make things right. No more running away. I had to face everything. I picked up my stuff and walked out of the café. I called out for a taxi and said to the driver, “Morgan’s Enterprise, please.”
Along the way, I began to think that I changed into the worst version of me. I hurt the people I loved and I didn’t want that. I thought I was doing a good job but I did not.
I would apologize to Karen later. I became the worst friend to her.
I would apologize to Javier as well and maybe…we had to end it. I should have thought this through before I chose to land my heart to him. My ego has completely taken over me.
And I would talk to Blake and told him…that I loved him as well.
I reached his office and after I paid the driver, I jumped out and entered the building. Once I walked in, I didn’t know what to do. I looked suspicious especially when I was wearing something too casual for working staff. Not even an intern would look like this. Everyone was eyeing me suspiciously and I felt uncomfortable. I began to think if this was a bad idea and maybe I should wait until the office hour was over. Maybe wait outside.
“Olivia?” Until I heard a familiar voice. I looked to the side and found John with his phone and he walked towards me. “What are you doing here?”
“Um, I want to see Blake. Is he here?”
“He is but did you promised to meet him?” he asked back.
“No, I…I just want to see him.” John was merely looking at me. I couldn’t bring myself to explain what I wanted to do here. What I wanted to say to Blake when I see him. I just couldn’t. But when I found John smiling at me; perhaps he knew it already.
“Follow me,” he said as I immediately followed his steps, reaching Blake’s private elevator. Last Friday, I tried to run away from him but today I would face him, willingly. We rode the elevator as I was looking at my reflection from the elevator’s door. “You’re ready?” he asked through the reflection, still wearing that gorgeous smile on his face.
“Maybe.”
“Don’t worry, girl. Everything will be alright. Both you and Blake need this. It’s not going to be an easy journey but I know Blake has prepared for it. He will not do anything to hurt you. So, please…” he paused and turned to look at me as I turned as well. “Trust him.” I was shocked. For John to say that so far about his Boss had shown how he cared about Blake. I could see that too when he was trying to stop the madness between Blake and Javier. He knew if Blake snapped, Javier would be mutilated in pieces. Blake was like a raging bull when he was furious and John didn’t want anyone to witness the beast inside Blake.
“Thank you, John. I hope I made the right choice.”
“You are.” The elevator dinged as John allowed me to walked out first and I saw Carol was there, on John’s desk. She was humming and stopped when she saw me. Not even smiling anymore. She pulled out her earphones and stood up angrily.
She looked at John. “Does she have an appointment with Blake?” Blake? What the hell?
“She’s his niece, Miss Rivers. And use your manners and address your Big Boss with Mr. Morgan. Olivia doesn’t need to have an appointment to see her uncle.”
“Oh, really? Then, she should at least dress up nicely if she wants to see the Director,” she mocked me. I knew I wore the wrong attire. A tosca T-shirt and black vest with black jeans, completed with black sneakers were not something to be wear in the office. Unlike Carol. She looked amazing with her green suits and she tied up her hair into a ponytail like usual. Although she looked pretty, her attitude was greatly zero as usual.
“Just get back to work, Carol,” John scolded her and went to the door. Blake’s door. Carol remained standing with her eyes stuck on me. I ignored her and looked at John knocking on the door. “Boss?”
“What?” I could hear Blake’s voice. He sounded…pissed.
“You have a guest,” John informed.
“Tell them I don’t want to see anyone.” Okay, this didn’t sound good. I could see Carol from the corner of my eyes that she was enjoying this. She wanted to see the drama that was about to happen. Perhaps hoping Blake would be mad at me because I came at the wrong time.
“Oh, you’re definitely want to see this guest.” John gestured his hand so I would come to him and show myself to the Boss.
I walked in. “What the fuck are you—”And he stopped when I stood inside his lovely office. “Olivia?” He looked surprised. No wondered because he had no idea I would be here. I heard the door was closed softly by John, giving us some privacy. None of us are moving but our eyes remained glued with each other. “I didn’t expect you to come here.”
“So did I.”
He smiled. “Have a seat, Olivia.”
“It won’t take long.”
“What do you mean? Just don’t stand there, Olivia. Come here so I could see you properly.” His words were like a spell. I moved closer to him even when I told myself to just stand away from him. But my brain functioned better with him. The more I came closer to him, I was getting ready. Telling myself this was the right thing to do. I looked straight to his eyes as hard enough, it was difficult for me to say it. I could feel the sting on my eyes. I couldn’t cry here. I was done with the tears. But Blake moved to me and stood in front of me, wiping my tears away. “What happened to you, baby?” And that was it.
I couldn’t hold back anymore. “I love you, Blake,” I confessed. His eyes remained on me but I could see he was shocked. “I tried to forget about you. I always thought of you as the villain of my story. You threw me away. You abandoned me. I wanted to hate you but I couldn’t. I love you, Blake. And I hate myself for that.”
“Don’t hate yourself for loving me. Oh, fuck.” He pulled me to his chest, holding me tight. “I love you too, Olivia. I’ve always loved you. From the day you were born, I know you are mine, straight away.” I broke down on his hold. I never thought this day would come. Hearing Blake said he loved me. Me confessing that I loved him as well.
“I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“I know. I will take care of you, Olive. This is what I wanted since long ago.”
“I will only destroy you.”
“No, you will never destroy me.”
“But—”
“Stop!” He pushed me a bit. We looked at each other. “You will not destroy me. I will protect you from the people, from the world. Your enemies are my enemies as well. I will be your monster if I need to.” He was serious. Blake would be if he needed to, or if he had to. He had dirtied his hands before and he would do it again. If it was about me.
“Please, don’t do the same thing as before again.” Yes, I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to hurt the people as he did to those girls and boys. I had enough.
“I won’t.” His eyes softened. He meant it. I placed my hands on his cheeks. Feeling his warm temperature with his cold eyes were on me. I wanted to touch him to know that he was real. “So, I only needed one sex to make you like this?” he joked as I chuckled.
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I should have done that the next day after I gave you away.”
I laughed. “You are crazy.”
“But you love me,” he added.
“I am.” He lowered himself as I tiptoed myself so we could kiss. Such a gentle kiss. Not the hard like he did before, or what he usually did.
This was what I needed.
This was what Blake needed.
Ourselves.