Olivia
I want to give you my other present. But can I give it to you without anyone watching us?
That’s what Javier told me before. I had no idea what he would like to give but it was best if he gave it without any audiences, especially not in front of Blake.
I was aware of it. Blake was eyeing me for the entire time and it was not a very pleasant stare. I could feel the annoyance coming from the man I used to consider as my stepfather. It made me uncomfortable so when Javier told me he wanted to give his present without anyone seeing it, I easily agreed and led him to my room. It was more private and no one would look at us. And I did not invite him to bed me. Javier already refused but I insisted because my room was safer.
We reached my room and I opened it. I walked in first as Javier followed. I closed the door and saw Javier was looking around. “You have a nice room,” he complimented.
“Thank you. I’m sorry for bringing you here.”
“It’s alright. I just…don’t want anyone to think that you’re inviting me to your room to do something.”
I chuckled lightly. “You should worry about yourself.”
“I’m worried about you more. I don’t mind if people are talking bad about me, as long as they will leave you alone,” he stated and my heart was racing. I never had someone to say that to me and it made me…quite happy.
I walked past him and sat on the bed. “Have a seat,” I invited.
“Are you sure?” Oh, boy. This man was way too polite. I gave him a nod as his confirmation and he walked towards me and sat beside me. I could sense his nervousness. I was as well.
“So, what would you like to give me?” Javier already gave me the flowers. They were so beautiful and I loved them. I put them in the guest room because they fit the room perfectly. Javier helped me before we start dinner. I saw him looking down. He bit his bottom lips like he was trying to conceal his nervousness. The sight of him biting his lower lip…was really sexy and erotic. But as I thought before, he was fierce yet so cute.
Javier let out a long exhale and turned his brown eyes to me. “Can I hold your hand again, Olivia?” he asked for permission. I blinked in confusion. “I liked doing it, holding your hand. It calmed me.” It reminded me back at the dinner table. The moment when he held my hand. We were talking about the history of Premium Soul. He told me the building process was not easy at all because there was a time where he ran out of money and he wanted to give up. But he didn’t because it was his dream and he felt he would fail himself if he let himself down and Javier said he punished himself by running on the treadmill nonstop for forty-five minutes until he had to shower with his own sweats. I laughed because of it when he told me that and I told him that I was glad that he didn’t give up. Because if he did, I would never join his club.
That was the time when Javier held my hand and said he was glad that he didn’t while looking into my eyes.
“The present I would like to give to you is not something…tangible,” he informed as I wrinkled my eyebrows. “I…haven’t met you for a long time but I feel something about you, and you’re hiding something. Sadness…could be seen from your lovely brown eyes. Like you’re holding something back and you’re desperate to be free.” Okay, that was not what I was expecting. How could he manage to see that?
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, Liv. I can only see that you wanted freedom but I don’t know what you wanted to be freed from,” he explained as I was speechless. Was I that easy to be read? Even so, Javier said he didn’t know the answer. I had. I knew the answer all along.
I wished to be free of Blake. The man broke my heart and I wished to stop loving him. As long as I still had this feeling for him, I was trapped by him.
“Hey, you don’t need to tell me. It’s normal if you have one or two secrets and I won’t push you. Just like me.”
I turned to him. “Would you like to share?” And he was silent. He looked down, avoiding my eyes, looking ashamed. What’s wrong with him?
Javier turned his eyes back to me and smiled, a sad smile. “Not now. I will but just…not now.”
“Not now to me as well,” I said. That’s right, not now. My past was complicated. Well, maybe Javier was as well but mine was…unique.
I saw him raising his hand and touched my cheek. “You are so pure, so innocent, fragile, even I’m scared I could break you.” Break me? What was he trying to say? He puzzled me with each of his words. Was he giving me some hints of his past?
I raised my hand touched his hand on my cheek. “You will not break me.”
“I could, Olivia. But I’m a stubborn man. You might have not realized it yet but whatever I wanted I will get,” he stated and he looked straight at me. His next words causing a butterfly to fly around in my stomach. “I want you, Olivia.”
I blinked but my eyes never left him. “W-What?”
“It might sound weird but the moment you bumped to me that day, I felt a spark inside me. I was…instantly attracted to you. I tried to ignore it, staying away, but nothing worked. I know in my head; I just broke up and I thought I don’t want a new relationship for a while. I wanted to focus on my career but when I saw you, meeting you, spending time with you, my answer is always the same. I wanted you to be my only one.” My eyes widened and my cheeks were flaming. Javier didn’t say it directly, but I already saw it. I took his hand on my cheek and put it down. My eyes followed as well.
I had to admit that I liked him as well, but my feeling was not as strong as I had with Blake. I didn’t know if I accepted him now, I could forget about Blake. That was the reason I rejected Josh before. I didn’t want to hurt him so I better end it before it begins.
“Olivia?” I looked up at him. I didn’t know what to say. Javier was attractive and I was drowned to his attractiveness. People would call me a fool if I dared rejected him. But I was nowhere ready to be his. True, I wanted a boyfriend and I was waiting for the right one to appear and although I hoped Javier could be the one, at some point I was scared to hurt him.
Javier was a good man and I refused to break his heart. The thought was breaking me and the back of my eyes stung and I wanted to cry. I couldn’t bear watching a good man as Javier broke because of me.
“Olivia.” He suddenly pulled me to his hold and rubbing my back. “It’s okay if you can’t answer now. I just want you to understand that I could see what you’re hiding. Just a second ago, I saw the hurt from your eyes. Someone hurt you too much and it broke you. I wish you could tell me about it so I can help you.” I also wished I could tell him so he could help me. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. All I could do was by raising my hands to returned his hug.
“It’s not easy, especially when it hurt me too much,” I said.
“I know because I also have the past that’s so hard to share. Although I’ve shared a bit with you about my family.” Come to think of it, I hadn’t told him about my family. Well, that was one of the reasons why it made me had trouble sharing with him. “Although I’ve shared some of mine, I wasn’t expecting you to do the same. I wanted to know but it’s your privacy and I will not force you. You can tell me one day when you’re ready and if you don’t want to tell me, I’m okay with it as well.”
Javier let me go and looked straight at me, smiling, and slightly touching my hair. “We don’t need the past, Olivia. What matters is we focus on our present for a better future.” I was quite shocked by his words. It did make sense. I shouldn’t be stuck in the past that would affect my future. I needed to accept it, considering it as a lesson and moving forward.
“You must be having a tough and hard time before.”
He chuckled nervously. “You’re right. I had my experience and that’s why I could say that to you.” I smiled and held his hand. I looked back up at him.
“I’ll think about it.”
“I’ll wait for you.” His lips formed a smile. Such a beautiful smile. I couldn’t forgive myself if I managed to steal that beautiful smile away from him.
“Do you…really want me? Despite whatever I have been through,” I asked. I sounded like I was doubting him. It might sound like it. I was trying to protect myself, and him as well.
Javier placed his hands and cupped my cheeks. Moving closer and he said, “I will accept you, no matter what. I only need you. I won’t promise a fairytale story. We could be facing problems in the future and there would be the time when we would doubt each other, but I can only promise you one thing,” he paused as he was looking at me so seriously. “I will never stop loving you.”
That’s when my defense almost break. I wanted to cry. I could feel how sincere Javier’s feeling to me. He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “I love you, Olivia.” I couldn’t hold back anymore as tears escaped from my eyes. I nibbled my bottom lip, trying to surpass the tears but it didn’t work. “Don’t cry, Olivia.” I began to cry as Javier assured me and kissing my tears away.
“Please, stop doing that. I can’t stop if you keep doing that.” He chuckled.
“Then, I will do the honor to kiss your tears away until you stop crying.” This time, I laughed a bit and he wiped the remaining tears away from my eyes. We looked at each other. He smiled and I found myself smiling back. “There it is. That’s what I want to see from you; you who always smile.”
“You’re such a romantic.”
“I’m not. I just like to spoil my woman and hopefully…you will be but I respect your decision and I will hold back for now.” I hoped I could accept him easily. I wished I didn’t have this past of mine so I could be with Javier without any doubt to myself. I knew Javier won’t make me sad. It was me who was scared to death to hurt him. “We should go back down now or your parents will suspect something about you.” And he just worried about me once again more than worrying about himself. It was rare to find a guy like him.
Javier stood up and reached out his hand to me. “The party hasn’t over yet and you are the star tonight. You should be downstairs.” I smiled and accepted his hand as Javier led me out of the room. We walked across the hallway and when we were about to walk down the stairs, Blake was down there, and my heart was sunk into my heels.
“Oh, Mr. Morgan,” Javier greeted him but Blake only nodded his head. I looked at him and his eyes were fixed on my hand with Javier’s. He turned to me again.
“Can I talk to you?” he asked. I wanted to refuse, until he said, “I already asked your parents’ permission.” That. I wondered how their reaction was. I could say no to him until Javier let me go and I looked up to him.
“I’ll be waiting at the garden,” he said. Maybe Javier could tell the tense situation between me and my uncle as he walked down passing Blake.
“Can we talk in your room?”
“No.” My answer was too instant.
“Javier could,” he scoffed.
“He’s different.”
“Which is? Javier is still a man and he could attack you like a madman if you’re alone with him,” he countered and it pissed me off.
“Could you please to not considered him like that? He didn’t do anything to me. As a matter of fact, he acted like a proper gentleman, unlike you.” I could see I was pushing his buttons. Literally, all of it.
“Stop doing that.”
“We can talk in the living room,” I said and went down the stairs, passing him, heading to the living room with Blake followed me from behind.