Irene Nadine’s pov
“Then why did you get divorced? You love him and he loves you too. Why did you get divorced?”
I was silent, and felt that the feeling in my heart was not love or not, but that time played a very important role in my life, which made me unable to accommodate other people, at least not now.
I also thought about getting married to Arthur Mitchell first, but I was afraid that even if I got married, there would be no way to change my mind. At that time, not only would I struggle in my heart, but Arthur Mitchell would also be hurt. What I feared most was that I would drag Arthur Mitchell off because of my selfishness.
Arthur Mitchell is very gentle and obedient to me. When I get married, I don’t think it is appropriate. If I say he will divorce, he will certainly agree, but I can’t.
It makes me feel guilty, so I want to make sure that I can live with Arthur Mitchell for the rest of my life before I talk about marriage.
“Irene, you are looking for a father who loves Theresa, not someone you love.”
“… Then I don’t love him. Will my family be really happy if I marry him?”
“At least you will feel happy. The loved ones will not be too bad, but you will be sorry for Arthur Mitchell. Or will you slowly accept Arthur Mitchell after marriage?”
“But I’m afraid I can’t accept it. I’m afraid I can’t give him the kind of love he wants.”
Sally White followed me to the dresser and helped me make up my hair
I can’t give the answer, because I dare not marry now, nor do I dare to separate from Arthur Mitchell.
I want to wait for time to change some things that cannot be solved now, but I don’t know how long this deadline will be.
What I want most is to separate from Arthur Mitchell, but I can’t bear to see Theresa clinging to Arthur Mitchell so much.
Such problems have been bothering me all the time, but as Sally White said, it can’t be consumed all the time.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I thought for a moment and said, “When Arthur Mitchell proposes to get married, I will promise.”
Sally White smiled with satisfaction: “That’s right. ”
I followed her with a smile, just mixed with a hint of bitterness.
It can also be regarded as an explanation for Arthur Mitchell.
“What is your ideal type?”
At the end of the signing meeting, Arthur Mitchell came to pick me up, and Theresa also came. At the moment, he was almost asleep in his arms. Because he refused to be held by me, and he was not convenient to drive, we decided to go to the river.
Arthur Mitchell’s sudden question made me confused. I looked up and listened “What kind of boy would you like if you were not under any control?”
I felt that he was just trying to find out something, and I was especially afraid of saying something wrong.
Arthur Mitchell didn’t mean to question me. He just talked simply and said with a smile: “Is it like the man in your cartoon? It’s said that girls like to place their fantasies in cartoons, so is that your ideal type?”
Hearing his question, I was a little relieved, and replied, “Actually, it’s not an ideal type. Most girls like guys like that.”
“Including you?” Arthur Mitchell then asked.
“… I’m afraid no one would hate a boy like that, right?”
In the cartoon, I only drew the good things of Ryan Campbell and the perfect lover I imagined, but the man in the cartoon only gave the good things to the woman, while the real Ryan Campbell gave such good things to Kathy Clark and maybe more people, which is what I care about more, so I described the man in the cartoon as very single-minded.
The gentle side of good temper is cold to the lady, and cold to other people.
In fact, women are selfish, possessive and even more than men. Even some girls can’t accept that their boyfriend dotes on others.
However, I don’t feel much about Arthur Mitchell.
Arthur Mitchell also has a sister, who is about the same age as me. Brother and sister have a good relationship. I don’t know how I would react if this happened to Ryan Campbell, but I don’t think much about Arthur Mitchell. I even envy their brotherhood. As for the ideal type, in fact, Arthur Mitchell’s advantages are my ideal appearance, but I don’t know why. I just doesn’t have much feelings for him.
Just being a friend, I may be able to face it generously, but when I think that the relationship between the two is to be married, I am very shy.
Theresa fell asleep on Arthur Mitchell’s shoulder, and he buttoned his hat for the child. I usually held the child, which would be very light in his hands, so that the child could sleep safely.
He took off his coat and wrapped it up for the child. I looked at him wearing only a thin shirt and said, “Don’t get cold.”
“Nothing.” He arranged the children’s clothes and then said, “If you can, can you tell me about your last marriage?”
He thought that her estrangement from him might have something to do with her last marriage, because he seemed to have no other reason. He didn’t want to open her wound, but if he didn’t understand, he didn’t know what to do with her.
He could see that she didn’t accept him, but Theresa loved him so much that she stayed with him for so long.
He is not particularly poor, and there are many girls who pursue him, but she doesn’t feel anything about him after so long.
I kept silent and looked at the river surface with the prosperous night scene reflected in the dark paint. The familiar scene was really unfamiliar to people around me.
“I married him because of our children.”
Arthur Mitchell listened for a moment and didn’t comment. He just asked, “Di you marry with a son?”
“I guess so.” I try to keep my voice calm. It is the first time that I mentioned the past to others, and I found that I still remember the things I always wanted to forget.
“I have a big gap with him. His conditions are very good, but I have nothing. At the beginning of the marriage, I never thought we could go on, but later in the marriage, I fell in love with him.”
“In fact, he was very kind. He always took care of me when I was pregnant.”
Arthur Mitchell just listened quietly. After all, it was the first time to hear her talk about the past.
“Why did you divorce later?” He asked.
I smiled. There seemed to be a lot of reasons, “He is too busy to accompany me.”
“Is that why?”
I looked at him with a shy smile and asked, “Is this reason a little unreasonable?”
Arthur Mitchell shook his head and said, “No, I just feel a little jealous. You still have him in your heart, right? You love him because he can’t accompany you, but not because he doesn’t love you.”
His analysis made me a little stunned, and his unswerving “you love him” also made me feel a little stuffy, unable to say what it was like.
After Arthur Mitchell finished, he smiled and said, “Anyway, the marriage has been divorced. You don’t seem very happy when you are with me. Do you want to remarry with him?”
I stared in shock, waved my hand and said, “No, you misunderstood me.”
Frightened by his frank analysis, I was a little overwhelmed and incoherent.
I always knew that Arthur Mitchell could not be accepted because it was related to the past, but I never thought about remarrying Ryan Campbell. Maybe he has remarried and had children now. There are too many things that can be changed in four years.
“It doesn’t matter.” Arthur Mitchell said frankly, “I don’t blame you. Whether you still have him in your heart or not, I will let you only see me in the future.”
I don’t know how to answer his strong words, and I don’t know whether his words or nervousness are the cause of his heartbeat.
In my dull expression, he stood up with Theresa in his arms, smiled and said to me, “Go back? It’s too windy here.”
……
The car stopped downstairs exactly. As soon as I opened the door, Arthur Mitchell had gone around to help me open the door, and then reached out to pick Theresa up.
Theresa slept very deeply and did not wake up. “I will send you up.”
“No, you should go back to bed earlier. It’s getting late. You have to go to work tomorrow.”
Arthur Mitchell knew that she didn’t seem particularly willing to let him go upstairs. From the time he realized that he was only going downstairs to pick him up and see him off, he had not yet sat upstairs.
“It’s hard for you to hold it.”
“It doesn’t matter. It’s already home.”
“Well, don’t draw at night. I’ll try to find you less during the day. Let’s leave things to the day. It’s bad for girls to stay up late.”
I nodded tactfully. His concern always warms my heart, but there is no other feeling.
Arthur Mitchell looked at me. It seemed that he had something to say. I was too embarrassed to turn around and walk away. I stood in the same place and looked at him. Seeing that he didn’t speak, I wanted to say that I had gone up first. The next second, Arthur Mitchell bent down, gently dropped his hand on my waist and pulled me closer. Then his warm lips fell on his forehead.
My eyes widened in amazement. I would feel very strange about the normal behavior between lovers. If I didn’t hold Theresa in my hands, I would have pushed him away subconsciously.
Fortunately, Arthur Mitchell did not go too far. I probably knew that I was a little repelled by such intimacy. He just kissed me l and released me, “Go up, good night.”
I seemed a bit silly. I looked at him twice, then I came back to myself. I didn’t say anything. I turned around and walked towards the building with Theresa in my arms in a hurry.
Standing in the elevator, my heart is still pounding. It’s not a heartbeat, but I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I don’t know where this sense comes from.