EARLY ON, Trina and I were arguing.
“What’s the matter, Tejie is also my son?” I asked. “Am I not adjusting?”
“It’s just me, Clint. Don’t touch Tejie!” Trina answered back.
“Why else would I be his father if he’d just answered me that rudely? Your Aunt Maggie taught him to talk to me like that! That’s why I’m getting even more depressed!” I let out. “And! Please tell me who that guy was that was with you at the resort last week. And Tejie was with you too! ” I shouted while messing up my hair.
“It’s a family outing, Clint! Those are close friends of my family! ” She exclaimed, gesturing her hands.
“So similar? I’m out of the picture yet again! It’s been eight years since I’ve been struggling and I’m pleased to be a part of that family, Trina! You know that because I want us to get along, but you keep pushing them away from me! I know I’m not a natural-born wealthy man, but you chose me! Me! Have you ever forgotten that I lost everything because you are the one I chose?” I yelled back.
Trina remained silent. What I said is true. I wasn’t loyal to her, but I tried to get along with her family for the sake of our son. The only thing that bothers me is that she constantly avoids me getting close to them, and I once learned that she was saying things about me to her parents, who haven’t wanted me since I got her pregnant.
“It’s not because I’m older than you; I will always be the one who understands; you know I cheated on you because you’re like that to me! I haven’t caught you just once, twice, or three times in a few years, but what! Did you hear anything from me?” I shouted.
“How can I not cheat Clint? You didn’t do anything other than look for your Aunt Cha before! You don’t have time, you don’t like me! Imagine. I’ve been suffering from your coldness for eight years!” She yelled back, clenching her fist.
“So I’m to blame for your actions?”
“You didn’t make love to me either! You only touch me when you’re drunk and horny, but the truth is you don’t care about me! You don’t love me! ” She yelled again.
“Well, you wanted that, didn’t you? It’s why I got you pregnant! You’re the one who pushed that! I told you before that let’s just talk about the kid, but you want us together! But I still keep on ‘right? Even if I’m just pretending! I’m doing it for Tejie! ”
Trina was speechless. She left the room and slammed the door shut. I was upset as I sat by myself on the sofa. Maybe we can’t get along anymore. Because of Tejie, we both just put up with it.
“I need a break!” I muttered. I called Nick and Ben to come and have a drink.
NICK SAID to me, “Your life is just wasted, especially the child. Why don’t you break up if it’s always like that?”
Nick is now married and has a son. He married a single mother who had once fallen in love with him. They’ve been together for nearly four years. The fool confessed to Vivi, who was five years his senior and had a child at the time.
“You can’t always be like that. Think about yourself too, Clint! Have a real life,” Ben said.”
Ben is still single to this day.
“I don’t know… I want to give up, but when I think Tejie will have a broken family, I get sad! I’ve been there, and I don’t want to do it again, not with my own son,” I explained. “I know the feeling of not having a parent.”
“But don’t get mad, ah! I don’t like how Tejie treats you, the way he talks to you! I just noticed. Why did you let the child be like that? Why did Trina let him treat you like that?” Nick said.
“Maybe it’s my fault too. He caught me cheating… That’s just the beginning!” I replied.
“Nah! Even before that, Clint! Remember when he shouted at you in public? Do you remember that at school? He tantrums because he doesn’t want to dance and he called you stupid!” Ben reminded me.
“No offense, brother, but I won’t raise my son like that. Maybe if Aunt Cha was still here or if she met Tejie, he wouldn’t be like that! I’m sure,” said Nick.
I frowned when I heard Mama Cha’s name. Maybe the two noticed that I became quiet.
“Let it go! Let’s not mention Aunt Cha because someone is frowning!” Ben joked.
I smiled and said, “I wonder how she is now?”
“Hmmn… Eight years? Totally detached!” Ben said, shaking his head.
“I haven’t heard from her anymore since she left. Even with friends, nothing really…” I said.
“That’s how she loves you. She’s the one who let go,” Nick said.
“Well! That’s life… It goes on even when we are severely hurt! Anyways, enough of those days! In two days, we’ll be in Camiguin! Staying there for two months of work again as usual!” Ben said.
“Oh yeah! Raymond’s referral, by the way! That’s right, Clint, so you can stay away from Trina for a while. You need a vacation. We’re not the ones teaching, but they are our talent, so they need our supervision. All you need is a break, Clint,” said Nick. “They have a state university, and they also have an international dance troupe; we will handle the elementary division,” he added arrogantly.
“Kids? Well, choose our nicest and kindest instructors; we need at least three of ’em,” I said. “The children are naughty, playful, and wiser than their teachers!”
“That’s one of the prestige universities there, which means great dancers and an elite dance troupe, so we have to be very strict,” Ben explained.
I responded confidently, “of course, we’ll pick, so it’s selective! We haven’t failed in that regard, you know that! Haha! We aged into dancing!”
Nick said, “I’ll teach PJ how to break dance when he’s four!”
I chuckled, “Hahaa! Cool! So Vivi will shatter your bones! Hahaha! Trina and I both enjoy dancing, but I’m not sure why Tejie doesn’t have the talent. It’s too bad he doesn’t like it.”
Ben remarked, “that son of yours is so kinky, Clint! Maybe he’s simply not interested. Maybe he’s spoiled! Particularly on Trina’s side, he does nothing but video games and mobile phones!”
“But – I just noticed, Clint, he never got anything from your face, or Trina’s – Are you sure you’re the dad? ”
Nick’s words caused my brows to furrow.
“Woo! I’m sorry brother, I just noticed… ” Nick apologized.
“Sometimes I think of that too,” I replied.
Nick and Ben looked at each other. Then after..
“Umm.. Clint, don’t be mad. We mean no harm, okay brother?” Nick said.
“We saw Trina and Tejie at Global two weeks ago. They were with Jet… The one who bought your coffee shop?” Ben said. “Remember him?”
Still raising my eyebrows, I asked, “Jet? You mean Mama Cha’s ex-boyfriend? The handsome Chinese guy?”
“Exactly! And not just twice! A week straight she was there with Tejie! ”
“Nick? Ben? Are you sure? Tejie?” I asked interestedly.
“That’s where Vivi’s brother lives, Clint. How can I not see…” Nick said.
“You two are insane-how dare you turn cheating into a ritual,” Ben said.
“Ben, she was the first. I’m willing to accept anything, but she won’t change! She always says she’s young and wants to do a lot more! Why me? I’ve lost more, you know that… If not really for Tejie, oh Ben!” I yelled back. “I refuse to be with her.”
Nick sarcastically remarked, “You too, aren’t you, Clint? You were also being silly as we got older! Whereas before, you were like a horse with a blindfold gazing in one direction alone.” Then, “Is it like that when it breaks? I mean, does it appear like that when someone leaves you?”
I grinned before saying, “Yes, Nick, I got lost… I can’t come back until now! Tsk! ” I remarked in a scratchy voice, “Imagine, my whole life is a mess. For eight years, I’ve been living in a maze for almost half of my life, and up to now I still don’t know the way home.”
Ben responded, “Hmmmmn… That’s enough! You came here for fun and not to think about all that stuff again. Don’t even shut yourself up, just forget! Sure, Aunt Cha has a family and has children as well, so she hasn’t come back to you anymore.”
Nick rubbed my shoulder and whispered, “Don’t worry, you’ll be home soon. Just believe it. You have Tejie; make sure your son does not abandon you.”
I smiled. I can’t deny that I am sad at the moment. My mind, like my life, is a mess. I’m living with a woman I don’t love and have never loved before, and I’m doing so solely because I don’t want Tejie to have a broken family. I don’t want the events of my life to repeat themselves. I admit that he despises me because I have been caught cheating on his mother several times. I love Tejie, and I will never abandon him. He’s the reason why I’m still fighting even though I’m having trouble living with his mother.
June_Thirteen