TWO WEEKS… For two weeks, I worked in Japan. I left very happy, overjoyed because Mama Cha and I had gotten along so well for the entire two weeks before I left. She was so nice to me. Every day, almost every hour, she remembers to kiss me… And that’s because…
“Enough, Clint! Let’s go home! ” Ben yelled at me.
“Ben, where is she? Where is Mama Cha? ” I yelled too.
“Clint, please stop. There are too many people watching you. The place is packed,” Nick said.
I couldn’t stop myself any longer. I don’t care where we are or who else is around! We’re in a park near Mama Cha’s favorite spot. We went there in the hope of seeing her.
“Maybe she’s just with a friend, Clint. Tomorrow we’ll look again,” Nick said to me.
“How do you explain the coffee shop? If she was just with friends, Nick! Why did she sell the coffee shop without even telling me? Then I guess she put everything else she sold into my account! What did she do? ” I yelled.
I wasn’t drunk at the time. I was sane and perfectly normal. My chest tightens with all of the crying. It’s a mix of rage and sadness I’m feeling. We’ve been looking for Mama Cha for two days. No one, not even her closest friends, can contact her. She also had all of her social media accounts deleted.
“That’s why she was so sweet to me… That’s why she just made me feel better. Hmmm… What have I done? Is my guilt too great for her to treat me like that? Ha? Tell me, please!! It’s all my fault, you know. Ah! F**k! Hmph! F**k this life!” I sobbed again.
“Enough, Clint; let’s just find her again tomorrow, or maybe she just went somewhere; let’s wait… You know Aunt Cha is unpredictable…” Ben said.
“Ben! I know I’m not perfect, but I could do anything for her! Here!” I took out a small box. “F**k! I bought this for her! This ring! I’m going to marry her! You know that, right? That’s why I asked you to arrange it all. I wanted to surprise her! ” I yelled again. “F**k! I worked in Japan for two weeks! I overcame the fact that we weren’t talking because I knew we were both okay! But! But why? Where is she now? Hmmm..”
I was just sitting on the grass. I didn’t care that so many people were staring at me and that others were simply filming me. My long hair is almost messy, and my yellow t-shirt is filthy from wiping my tears with it. And once more…
“Ma… Ma, where are you? What’s my fault? You said you wouldn’t leave me. Hmmmm… Ma, how am I now? Hmm… Ma… Hmm..” I just cried while clutching my hair. Mama Chari, I love her so much.
“Let’s go home, brother. You haven’t had a good rest since you came,” Ben said.
“Rest? Rest is for the dead… I feel like that now. I don’t want to go home because I don’t have anyone to go with,” I replied, still sobbing and shaking my shoulders.
“Don’t even think about it, Clint! Trina was there waiting for you, and you’re going to have a baby! ”
“I don’t care about Trina! My life is f**ked up! ” I muttered.
“Clint, don’t! Come to think of it, maybe Aunt Cha left because she didn’t want to mess with your life… probably, she’s the one who let it go. Just respect that,” Nick said seriously. His eyes are almost teary too.
“Is she always the one to let go? Why does she always leave everyone alone? She’s very selfish when it comes to problems! Hmph! Ever since I came to her, she’s been like that; she doesn’t want me to help her.” Sadly, I said.
I haven’t said anything since then. I just kept crying. I want to pour everything out. During those times, my entire body felt numb. Nothing comes to mind other than how I am now… I’m not used to not having Mama Cha by my side, and I’m not sure what will happen to me now. All of my plans were lost. Everything I had worked for had been thrown away. Everything is broken for me… Everything’s scarred…
Especially my life…
I don’t know, and I feel like I won’t be able to bring her back any more; I’m not sure why I can say these things, but I do know that it all ends here…
“She’s gone… she’s gone… Why, Ma? Why?” I murmured.
CHARI’S POV
Goodbye Clint…
Goodbye, my love…
I hate being a martyr, but I have no choice. I tried to convince you that we were fine and that I was willing to maintain our hidden understanding so you wouldn’t be suspicious of what I was about to do.
Yes. It hurts.
It hurts me to say goodbye, but I know you’ll be happier with her. Also, I’m old enough for you, and the day will come when my appearance will fade and you’ll have to replace me with someone else. You’ll be happier with Trina, who is your age and loves you.
I sold the coffee shop and gave him half of the proceeds for his and Trina’s future child, and the rest for his future child with me. I purchased a small house in a small subdivision in a remote province that I desperately wanted to visit. The place we used to talk about was where we wanted to settle, and now I’m here. The setting is stunning. The breeze was cool and refreshing. It’s also a little more modern, but the heart of the province remains. I started a business by building a small coffee shop beneath my house. I have one maid and two people I can put in the coffee shop to help. While Clint was away, I handled everything. It’s depressing, but I can handle anything. I’m sure he’s home now, looking for me. I hope he forgives me… Time will tell if we will meet again. But I’d better stay away for the time being. This region is far away, and I’m sure he won’t find me again… That means we won’t meet again.
DAYS passed .. Weeks… Months… And years…
It has not always been easy for me. I almost forgot about myself and the business. Within a year, I had become disillusioned with the wrong life path. I would drink frequently, then disappear and cry myself to sleep. I lost interest in everything, including Trina’s pregnancy, until she gave birth.
In the past, I can honestly say that there was only one person in my heart. I only have one true love. It is difficult to forget everything. It’s difficult to forget the person who made you feel important and complete.
But… I know she is gone and have given up hope of ever seeing her again. I desperately searched for her, but was still extremely unlucky. But.. I’ll keep going. I’m not ready to give up. It’s sad to think about, because I don’t know what her life is like now, but it also lingers in my mind that she must have a family. She married a very fortunate man. That’s all I can think of to forget about her. I create my anger until I am affected and guilty.
I began to feel better over time. I can return to normalcy, thanks to the help of some friends. I’ve already sold the studio. I don’t want to see the place anymore, because it will just keep reminding me of the old days. I paid for a larger place because I already have a lot of talent to manage. I dedicated a lot of time to dancing. Even though I was struggling, I tried to forget about Mama Cha. Ben and Nick never let me down. They never left my side.
Trina and I did not get along well. I’ve caught her with a man too many times, so I do the same. I haven’t been truthful with her. I constantly have relationships with my young clients who are attracted to me and others who are my talents. I just became nasty and didn’t take it seriously because I know that nothing good will come back even if you fall in love honestly. I also know Trina doesn’t truly love me. Fortunately, we are not married. We only appear together because of Tejie.
I was confused, but I just went with the flow. I also have the impression that I am not close to the child, and that the child is not close to me. He also didn’t get anything from my appearance. He has a white complexion and small Chinese eyes. While Trina and I have round eyes. I’m not sure if this boy is truly mine because he doesn’t have much of an impact on me, or if it’s just because Trina raised him to be a brat like her. I realized at first that Trina was just playing with me, and I joined in. I benefit from her, and she benefits from me too. I can say that we were just having fun, and it seemed like we were just fooling each other for so long. We don’t care about each other so much that even if we cheat, it doesn’t matter. I’m fine with that. Everything appears to be meaningless… You do have a wife and a child, but they do not appear to be with you…
Am I the only one? Or-. I’m only saying this because I’m still not completely forgetting everything. Mama Cha has been gone for almost eight years. Eight years. It’s been a while. Eight years of life wasted… I can say… everything in me is broken, and I’m still having difficulty healing.
June_Thirteen