We belonged together. It just worked and here I was dying, leaving him to be alone once again. Once again, he has to watch me die, like he watched his mate die.
Would he be able to avenge me? Why did people even have it out for me?
Was I so evil in my past life? Was dying the only peace I deserved?
What about my son? Did he not deserve a mother to raise him? Did he not deserve a mother’s love? The true love only a mother could give?
Did my son not deserve a normal upbringing with a mother and father? He already had a broken home but now, the woman that birthed him would be gone from his life.
How was any of this fair?
My father. Losing a daughter was going to wreck him. How was he going to heal from this?
My Josey and Cj. Cj likes to act tough but I know my death is going to weaken him. We were close, as close as a brother and sister can be and more. He wasn’t the mushy type but his love, you can see his love in his efforts, his actions.
And Josey.
Josey….
Josey is my twin, my other half. How was she going to get through this? She just lost her baby and now me? My death is something she will never come back from.
If anything, Josey was going to hunt down nana and kill her. Then she’d break down, for months. Josey and Xander will never be the same.
I don’t want to die. I can’t die.
Why would I want to hurt the ones in my life like this? I can’t hurt Xander like this.
How can I abandon Adrastos like this?
I went deeper and deeper in to the darkness, I lost the feeling of Xander holding me. I could no longer hear my mother’s cries or Hunter’s howls of pain.
It felt like I was in the pit of my sadness. Being swallowed whole by the hurt I know I’ll never be able to make up for when my entire family hears if my death.
I felt useless! Where was my great strength now? The big bad wolf was dead. I guess Green Forrest can celebrate now that I’ve met my end.
Does dying feel like this for everyone? Was everyone stuck in complete darkness, just thinking of their loved ones? If that’s the case, I was going to lose it soon if I don’t get out of here.
Then suddenly there was light a bright light that took over my space and I was in a completely white room. I looked around, seeing nothing familiar. I touched myself, feeling no wound on my stomach or my chest. I was in a white robe and looking down to see I was barefoot.
“Sabrina, I’ve been waiting for you.” A female voice said and I turned to face the woman.
An old woman, grey hair but also wearing a white robe. She looked oddly familiar but I couldn’t place her.
“Where am I?” I ask and she smiles at me.
“You’re in limbo. Stuck between the living and dead.” She said and it dawned on me that I had in fact died but my soul won’t let go.
“So I’m dead.” I said in more of a confirmation than a question.
“Well that’s up to you. You didn’t think we’d let you die so easily right?” The old woman said.
“Uhm we? I’m sorry. Who are you?” I asked.
“I’m the first she wolf. Your grandmother. I’ve lived for thousands of years as the moon goddess, I was happy to pass on my powers to you.” She said to me.
I look at her waiting to hear a name. Age. Address.
“My name is Sabrina too. You have a lot to learn about the first family my child.” Sabrina senior said and I chuckled at her words.
“My life has been a mess. It’s an even bigger mess with me being here. I broke a lot of hearts when I died and I have a son I so badly want to go back to so I’m sorry, a history lesson is the last thing on my to do list.” I say and Sabrina senior chuckles.
“I was just like you when I was younger.” She says to me.
“Ok grandmother, I need to go back to my mate. I need to go back to my family, I need to comfort my love. I know he won’t be able to go on without me, he won’t be able to survive losing another mate. My son, he’s special. I love him dearly and I’d give anything to go back to him. To hold him and sing to him, I can’t die yet. My son won’t even remember me!” I say in desperation.
“You don’t need to tell me. Like I said it’s completely up to you if you want to live or not.” She tells me. I sigh in annoyance.
“And how do I go back to the living? I’m in limbo remember?” I ask.
“You think I’d let you die just like that? As ancestors, We don’t meddle in a wolf’s life but after everything that you’ve been through, the blessings that you have missed, you think I’d just let things just end here? You have a purpose!” She says and a little hope blooms inside me.
“What do I need to do?” I ask honestly. Ay at this point, I was willing to do anything to be with my mate and son again. This distance was painful not being able to feel out Xander.
“You need to remember that you have a purpose in that life. You have a duty to every wolf, whether you have a life or not. Your duty to right the wrongs and set things straight. You’re alone with me because I made it so, you are family so our blood connects us but there are many lost pups in limbo who deserve another chance at life and you need to see to it that it is fulfilled.” She tells me.
She steps closer to me, taking my hands in hers.
“Your son is the key element to what will bring all wolves together, the prophecy cannot be fulfilled if you’re dead. You need to make sure what was prophesied, comes to fruition.” Sabrina senior says before kissing my forehead and disappearing.
“Okay, crazy familiar old lady with the same name? Where did you go?” I ask and in response.
“Just great! Fucken great!” I say in annoyance, folding my arms.
I was suddenly thrown in to complete darkness again but I could feel Xander again. He was still holding me, silently crying but his mind losing it. He was slowly breaking to the point of no return.