Sofia’s pov
“I can’t believe you took your husband back.”
Those words pierced through the heavy silence, leaving me reeling from shock because that wasn’t what I had expected him to say at all.
I sucked in a deep breath and waited a few moments before clearing my throat. “Huh?” I muttered, because that was all I could come up with. Ryan only shrugged his shoulders while continuing to drive the car, as he repeated himself.
“I can’t believe you accepted Luca back.”
After I returned home, I had barely exchanged only a handful of words with him because I remained indoors throughout and Luca was always around to keep me company.
Although today, I had wanted to pay Kayla a visit and my two bodyguards had accompanied me there. Now, on returning home, Ethan had to run an errand for Luca, leaving me and Ryan to ourselves.
The ride felt hella awkward, and I wasn’t sure of how to break the awkwardness and start a conversation, which left me guled to my phone while hoping that we would arrive home as fast as possible.
What made it hella awkward for me wasn’t just because the pending conversation which I’m still yet to have with him. It’s the fact that I had let myself break down in his presence, not once but twice, and that was making embarrassment consume me so much at that very moment.
I had thought neither of us was gonna break the silence and that was fine by me, but then Ryan had to go ahead and break it with the most unexpected thing ever.
I found mystery blinking slowly as I sat up straighter. The fact that he had referred to Luca as his name while referring to him the second time wasn’t unmissable to me.
“What do you mean?” I asked and watched as she shrugged once again, then it took about a minute before he responded.
“He hurt you, didn’t he?” He asked, not waiting for a response before continuing. “He did hurt you. You were miserable for over a week.”
I let out a long sigh after that, feeling weakened all of a sudden , just as Ryan picked off from where he stopped at.
“I don’t think he deserves you.” He declared, and somehow, I knew this was definitely coming from somewhere filled with other emotions aside from platonic worry and care. I could pick out pain and annoyance in his voice as he spoke, and that didn’t sit right with me in any way. It made me uneasy, and right there, I knew I undoubtedly needed to finally have that conversation with him.
I patiently waited for some minutes to psss by so I could get my bearings together, before attempting to pick off the conversation.
“Ryan… do you have feelings for me?”
I noticed the moment he stiffened up, seeing as his grip on the steering wheel tightened noticeably.
It took over a minute for him to respond. “I… what?”
“Do you have romantic feelings for me?” I clarified and when he didn’t respond, that twisted my stomach even more. Even though I had already confirmed this when he had kissed me in the past, a part of me was still yet to believe it, so watching him remain silent right now is answer enough.
“That’s the worst thing ever. You can’t have feelings for me, Ryan.” I explained to him, and this time he huffed quietly.
“I don’t.” He offered, but there was no way I’d buy that.
“You kissed me that one evening, Ryan.” I reminded him in case he might have forgotten, and once again, he was back to being silent.
“You shouldn’t have let those feelings germinate. That’s such a huge mistake that should never happen. We were supposed to be just friends, how could you let this ruin what we shared?” I demanded while slowly shaking my head in disbelief because I still couldn’t believe that I’m also currently having this conversation right now.
Ryan remained silent throughout my rant and I pursed my lips while staring out the window, mind already wandering. About three minutes passed before he broke the silence.
“Despite everything, your husband still doesn’t deserve you. Nothing’s gonna change that to be honest.”
I rolled my eyes a little, already feeling genuinely irritated.
“Ryan, I appreciate your concern and care to be honest. You were there for me at the hotel when I needed you.” I paused, and then Ryan picked up from where I stopped.
“Exactly. I was there for you, because your husband had hurt you. He made you very miserable. He definitely doesn’t deserve you.”
I let out a long sigh while trying to think of a best way to have this conversation.
“That’s beside the point, Ryan.” I let out tiredly. “The point is that you were there for me when I needed you, you were always there for me wherever I needed you, and I appreciate you for that. That’s what I’m trying to say.” I took a deep breath and shifted in my seat before continuing. “And that’s how friendship works. They’re always there for each other, and that was what I had with you. I never wanted it to get to this point with you, and I’m sorry in a way, I guess? Because I don’t think things can stop feeling awkward between us.”
“But, what I’m trying to say is that, we’re friends, and that’s what we’d always be.” I waved my hand a little while huffing. “I mean, I’m married, you know that. Even though you feel like my husband doesn’t deserve me, you’re in no place to point that out, because you know how dangerous said husband is, he’s literally the person you work for.”
“I don’t want anything to happen to you, because I still care about you as a friend. Luca is very territorial, if he gets wind of this entire conversation, we both know what’s gonna happen. So, for both our sakes, please kill off any kind of feelings you have for me because that’s never gonna amount to anything good.”
I puffed out a deep breath and pushed my hair out of my face before continuing. “Besides, I love Luca and he treats me well. Couples are expected to have problems here and there, it’s not that big a deal. I appreciate your concern, I genuinely do, but you don’t have to be worried for me because I’m very fine, and very happy.”
“Very well then.” Ryan finally responded and I didn’t bother responding because I wasn’t sure of what to say to that. Internally, I asked myself if I hadn’t been too harsh with him during the entire conversation.
When we finally pulled into the compound, I let out a relieved sigh because I wanted to be out of the car as fast as possible. Rush held the door open but didn’t meet my gaze as I alighted the car, and I hurriedly rushed into the house after shrugging my bag on.
I flopped onto the couch and let out a loud groan, feeling extremely exhausted. This was the exact reason why I had been avoiding that conversation, because I already knew it was gonna drain me emotionally.
With a long exhale, I pushed myself to my feet and trudged up the stairs to laze in bed until Luca arrived home.