Sofia’s POV
I watched Ryan’s shoulders move a little as he pushed away from the wall and started to move towards me, and I felt my heart start to tighten up in fear and almost immediately, I could feel the incoming tell-tale sign of a panic attack.
“Ma’am?” I heard his voice call out and that alone was enough to snap me out from whatever I was about to fall into and I shook my head a little, in order to get the glaring and terrifying image thst was currently outlined brightly in my head, out of my head to no avail. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head a little, feeling myself start to shiver a little as the thought in my head still wasn’t going away and was instead lengthening to my dismay, and the images were so triggering because I was the one right there in the image popping up in my head and I had been the one who had been at the receiving hand of it, and I wish I’d rather not get dragged down memory lane at this very moment.
“Mrs Ricci?” I heard Ryan’s voice called out to me after a few seconds, and the voice sounded familiar yet so far away and unfamiliar at the same time, and I shook my head once again, just as those midges which were popping up in my head seemed to be lengthening instead.
“Mrs Ricci??!” I Heard his voice call out to me once again and the urgency which was oh so evident at the back of his voice, had been what had managed to make me finally blink my eyes open a few moments later.
I stared at him and realized that he was crouched down beside the couch where I was currently perched on, and before I knew what I was doing, I was shifting back on the couch and trying to literally crawl into the backrest of the couch without realizing it, nor filling registering what was happening around me at this very moment.
“Mrs Ricci?” I heard him call out once again, his voice softer than it was before and I blinked down at him with
My eyes wide and fear undoubtedly swimming in the depths of my eyes. I stared into his eyes and our eyes held for long seconds before reality started to sink unto my body like dripping pieces of iced slowly being poured into my crop top at the very moment.
“Here, drink.” I heard Ryan’s voice echoed out and I turned my head head around after a moment to see him holding my half filled carton of juice which I can clearly remember placing on top of the side table which was beside this particular cough which I was currently sitting on
I lifted my right hand slightly into the air and was about to receive the juice carton from his outstretched hand but my hand was shivering way too much for me to be able to lift the drink upwards to direct the carton to the lower part of my mouth. I ended up giving up accepting the drink into my hand and placed my hand back unto my thighs, my left hand moved around on my thigh to wrap around my right hand almost immediately, and I clasped both shaking hands together after a moment.
I watched as Ryan then proceeded to uncap the drink and held it out to me but I only watched him without doing a thing, remaining motionless. He moved the drink towards me slowly with his eyes locked with mine and I watched as he inched it even closer until he finally paused and held it against my face, the open lid of the drink lightly touching the dry surface of my lips. He tilted the drink sideways in order for the drink to be able to pour into my mouth without me doing a thing.
I felt my lips fall open almost instantly, on their own accord, even though I was feeling nauseous at the moment and didn’t feel like taking anything into my stomach. He moved the drink upwards a little and I felt the still cold liquid slid into my mouth in a really slow pace, sliding down into my throat and I had no other choice than to swallow when the liquid in my mouth got too much.
Ryan retrieved the drink and I swallowed once again in order to chase down the rest of the juice lingering behind in my mouth. I dragged my eyes away from Ryan’s and placed my hands on thighs once again, pressing them against each other and trying to will my hands which was still shaking really well, from shaking so much.
And gosh, it was proving really harder than I thought.
And why won’t my limbs stop shaking like gosh.
I moved a little in my seat and moved my eyes around the whole sitting room, trying not to meet Ryan’s shake gaze once again.
If this wasn’t embarrassing, then I don’t know what it was.
I don’t know if this was still normal or not, because stuff like this does not ever happen to me repeatedly with the same person over and over again, until Ryan.
It was like the universe were suddenly against the thought of me still mentioning a little bit of dignity around Ryan and were hell bent on stripping me of every thing – because I don’t understand how every rmvreadfimy thing which was suddenly happening to
Me these days, are on my choosing to surface around Ryan and no one else.
It was a little unnerving and at this point it was starting to stress me really bad.
I dragged in a deep breath into my lungs and puffed it out slowly, feeling my lungs give and expand ever so slowly, and the fact that I could still feel my fingers shaking against my thighs was a constant reminder of the fact that I had almost slipped into a panic attack.
I didn’t need to think too deeply or to start to wonder too much about what the cause of the slight panic attack was, I didn’t need anyone to point it out to me that it was me, I had been the cause of it.
Something had triggered it though.
I dragged in a deep breath into my lungs and puffed it out slowly, feeling my lungs muscles moved around a little as it worked the breath deeper into my body right before it puffed it out slowly and I felt the warm breath slipped past my lips slowly, feeling my chest rise and fall with the whole respiratory motion.
“Are you alright?” I heard Ryan ask and I remained motionless without giving any sign that I had heard what he had asked for a few minutes with my head bent down and my gaze resting on my clasped hands which were thankfully starting to not shake as much as it had been shaking some minutes ago.
I raised my head up and stared at Ryan, watching me without saying a thing and wondering why he had triggered that panic attack.
I mean, I knew why it got triggered, but I didn’t understand why my mind couldn’t register that it was Ryan.
I moved my eyes away from his and instead started to trail my eyes around the whole place in the house, and then I dragged in a deep breath and puffed it out ever so slowly as I shifted a little on my seat.
It was a little unnerving, all what had just happened to me moments ago, but I wasn’t going to start to think about that at this moment, I think I am better off without thinking of that one at this moment.
I dragged in a deep breath and shuddered a little as the breath filled up my lungs before coming out after a few seconds in a sharp puff of breath.
“Why did you scare me?” I heard the words slip out my lips quietly and even though I wasn’t staring at him at the moment, he knew without having to ask unnecessarily questions that he was the one that I was referring to.
“I didn’t mean to,” I heard his voice come out in a breath and I felt myself swallow emptily and I turned my head around to steer at the bedside table where my opened carton or juice was still on, and so I reached out with my hand which was thankfully no longer shivering and used it to pick up my drink.