=ERIKA’S POV=
I couldn’t take the smile off my lips as I stared at Dave who was sleeping. We are both naked while laying in bed. He sleeps peacefully after our romantic contact earlier.
I caressed his face and then kissed him. One by one my tears flowed for some inexplicable reason. Fun with skepticism. Happy because I’m with him and hesitant because I might not take care of him as Lileth does.
I can’t still believe that the time will come when he will be mine. I love him since the first time I saw him. He is my inspiration, my all. I was young when the doctor told me I have a heart problem. The doctor told me that maybe I will not stay longer. The doctor advises me as well not to fall in love because it might bring me pain that will cause me earlier death.
So when I was a teenager, I avoided liking men. I avoided them all, so maybe that is one of the reasons why I was attracted to women back then. Because I thought it was ok when I had a relationship with a woman. Even though there are those who make me feel the love I don’t pay attention. I don’t want to gamble because I don’t want to die. Even though I am sick I still have many dreams.
Not until I met Dave.
Since the first time we meet, I have told myself that if I die because of my love for him it will be ok. What matters is that I experience love and affection.
Before Dave flirted with me he told me he had a girlfriend. An orphan but he did not say the name. Four years older than him. But that didn’t stop me from liking him. I was even more impressed because despite his wealth, and his handsomeness he was not chosen a woman, in age and state in life.
Dave and I became close. Honestly, he never flirted with me. He just kissed me and we both assumed we were together. No words, no talks, but actions speak louder than our words.
Dave did everything for me. I can say that I am happy with him. But our relationship became strained when I became ill and was hospitalized. The hectic adds even more to my class schedule so I lost time with him.
He said we need to cool off. We don’t need to talk and meet first so we can both relax. I didn’t want to but because he was insistent I gave in to him.
I wasn’t happy, I was sad, but I persevered and said we could get through it all too. Until Lileth had a boyfriend. I was really jealous of her because I could see how happy she was even more and she said her boyfriend was the man she first loved. I thought maybe if Dave and I hadn’t a cool-off we had dated a double date.
But I was surprised when Lileth introduced him to me. And it turns out that Lileth is the woman he first liked and so is Lileth the first one he loves. It’s clear to me that they were the first to fall in love so I didn’t interfere.
It hurts me, to see the man that you love and treasure the most is happy with your sister. It’s like a knife that stabs you every now and then. I can’t look at them, I can’t be with them. So I avoided them.
When we confront each other and Lileth asks Dave to choose I expect that Dave will choose her. Even though it was painful I accepted that because I could see they were happy.
When they got married I was badly hurt and I was taken to the hospital and there I found out that my illness was getting worse. With no other option but a heart transplant and fifty-fifty more chances of surviving.
But instead of losing hope, I enjoyed life. It was wild until I met Isabelle who introduced me to the secret world. A world I never thought existed.
Having intercourse with the same gender, having sex with someone to have fun. Drinking, taking drugs, one-night stand, threesome, and more. There is this one incident that I almost gave up on the guy but suddenly I remember, Dave.
I don’t know, but I woke up suddenly. I thought just giving myself to anyone made me feel sick. But Isabelle taught me to have fun without having sex with a guy. With her, I learned what lesbians and girls do for pleasure. Added to that, she loves to fuck random guys and I am the third wheel. I just immerse myself in their pleasure so I can get mine out.
I had no plans to show up to Dave. I am happy with what I have. In what I do. But Terence came back from another country and he wanted to see Lileth. I can’t say no to him because I think he only wants to meet her. I didn’t know that he was planning something bad or let’s say he did something to Lileth.
When I see Dave again I feel crazy. I don’t know but I feel this time we met I would go crazy when he disappeared. I told Isabelle everything and she advise me to be Dave’s mistress.
I love him, I put my body first. I’ll be a mistress but I should know what I’m getting into. And I took her advice since I also knew that I would die at any time. I am like a walking bomb that will explode at any time. When I die it’s over.
I am happy with what I did. Even though I knew I was hooked but Dave show me that he love me. I also didn’t know that they had a problem. I have no idea that their relationship is not good. I thought that Dave want me to feel that I am not left alone. But I didn’t know that they weren’t really ok.
When I found out that Lileth was cheating on Dave, I knew that was impossible. But at the same time, I was also scared because I saw how Lileth’s looked. Maybe Dave can do that to me too out of anger.
I talked with Lileth and I wanted to know the truth. But she told me she was tempted. She says she has a relationship with Terence and Terence is the father of her children. I confronted Terence and he told me that Lileth was the only one chasing him. So he left for America because Lileth was teasing him.
They talked a lot and I don’t who I believe in. But in the end, I chose to keep quiet so as not to hurt Dave. I did not tell him what I thought was true. Because I know that even though Lileth sinned against him, he still loved her.
But it turns out that all is a Lie. They both lied. Lileth to cover Dave, and Terence to hide what he did. But of the two of them, I was angrier with my brother. I just buried the body that Dylan threw on the bridge but I no longer cooperated with the police. I told all his nonsense so that his case would be closed.
I feel ashamed of Lileth. First, because of what my older brother did. Second, I hooked up with her pregnant —– and got pregnant. So I decided to stay away.
When I talked to Lileth I found out that she has cancer. I was hurt because I knew Dave would be hurt again. He just kept hurting. I don’t want to get mad at her but somehow, I wished I had just fought Dave way back then. Hopefully, he doesn’t experience being hurt.
Because no Lileth the sexslave of my brother, and no Lileth that had cancer will go to Dave.
I know she didn’t want that, but I just think that eventually Dave will get hurt even more. And I know that Dave also hopes that their life will be good again. My mind becomes selfish to just claim him and tell him the truth about our daughter.
But I don’t want my sister to get hurt. Especially she said that she will go to die. I don’t want to take away from her the only man who gives her strength. I knew Dave would be hurt again but if that would be my sister’s happiness I would prefer her to be happy on her last day on earth.
I told Lileth I was pregnant. She told me to tell Dave the truth but I said no. I don’t want to upset Dave, Lileth has limited time so I want her to be happy, and that will only happen if Dave focuses his full attention on her.
I always contacted her. We meet at their house when Dave is away. I don’t want her to travel because she might have a hard time. Until I give birth. I was suffering because of my heart disease. But Dylan was there and reminded me not to give up. I have to fight for my daughter, for Lileth’s heart, for Dave when the day comes.
I did my best to survive the birth and God grant me. The problem was I didn’t get out of the hospital so a complication happened. Isabelle and Dylan took care of Dustle while I am in the hospital.
To give me courage. Lileth keeps on sending me Dave’s stolen photo. Somehow I was happy because she didn’t take Dave away from me. That she doesn’t even resent. Until one day, she send me a message, saying that no matter what happened I will take care of Dave.
When I could no longer contact her and Dylan came saying that my operation is near. I know what that means —— Lileth is in a coma. I asked Dylan if I want to see my sister for the last time, and he make a way so I can visit her.
When I saw her I wish I was in her position. If I could just give her my cervix and she would recover, I would give mine. I hope we just exchanged the disease and I am her donor so that she can live.
I can’t bear to look at her. Lileth didn’t deserve all the pain she went through. The amount she has already experienced. But I can’t do anything to her. It hurts me to see my sister hurt but I can do nothing for her.
Because of my overthinking, I lost consciousness. I don’t know what happened while I was asleep. I just woke up a month ago —- most of all I had surgery.
And it only meant one thing then …….
My sister is gone.
Even though I had just woken up, I could do nothing but cry. I don’t know if I’ll be happy because I’m healed or sad because my sister is gone. Yes, I want to be healed, I want Dave to be mine but I didn’t ask for my sister’s death.
It was a long time before I accepted that she was gone. Maybe if it wasn’t for Dustle I might have given up as well. Fortunately, my daughter is there to make me happy and give me strength. I also thought Lileth’s heart shouldn’t be happy so I should live and fight. And I don’t want to waste her heart.
I kissed Dave on the lips who was still sound asleep. I knew that no matter what happened Lileth would never be removed from his heart. I also know that he sees not only me in this body but also Lileth because of my actions and speech. I’m aware of that because even I notice that.
But I can’t get angry. Maybe others will call me a hypocrite but that is the truth. In fact, I am happy. Because even if I’m Erika who is bi, she loves me, and even if I’m Erika who is modest now, he still loves me.
Whoever I am, and whatever I am, he loves me.
Maybe because Lileth is in me she’ll see. But I don’t care because the one he loves is also in my body. If then I was ready to share the time, now I can have my share.
I don’t have to compete with the dead. I don’t have to compete with Lileth. If Dave says he still loves Lileth, then fine, because I know that can’t be changed. Lileth is part of him, and now, a part of me, a part of us.
“Hi,” I greeted him when he opened his eyes.
“What time now? Has Dustle arrived yet?” he asked and then got up.
“No, Dylan said they’re going to take Dale to the hospital, maybe they’ll spend the night.”
“Ah,”
“Dustine!” I scream when he pulls me and I fall down. He quickly overpowered me.
“We have more time for another round.”
“Stop.” But he did not listen and kiss me. “Dustine, I can’t have many.”
“Ow sorry.” He straightened up and lay down next to me.
“Sorry.”
“For?”
“Because I can’t be sexually active like others because of my condition.”
“Sex is a seasoning in a relationship, the main ingredient is love.”
“I heard it somewhere,” I said. It’s as if I’ve heard that before. He laughed and kissed me.
“It’s Dylan quotes.” Dylan? I never talk to Dylan regarding that. “Maybe it’s Lileth’s thought?” I didn’t answer, maybe Lileth.
“I think.”
“Are you having a hard time?” he asked me.
“Where?”
“Of what’s happening early.” I shook my head in response.
“Nope, I’m happy with the outcome of everything and I have no regrets. You, are you having a hard time? ”
“No, would you be angry if I said I’m happy because the two I love are in the same body?”
“No, because I’m happy that my partner is in me too. We still can’t be called partners because we are one. ”
“I love you, Erika, I love Lileth because she is my wife and I am happy that you have her heart. I love her, I love you too but now you are with me. What I am thankful for is that she still left something behind and is also in the woman she chose to be with me.”
“Dustine, I will not erase her from your heart. Just love me and our child and I will be satisfied. That is all I ask.”
He pulled me closer to him and then hugged me.
“I am so damn lucky, especially with you. I don’t want to promise anything because I don’t want to disappoint you. I will just show and make you feel my love.”
I won’t ask for more. I only want him to stand by our daughter. Even if he loves Lileth for life is just ok with me. I will adjust and be content with what he can give. That is important to me. That’s all I ask.