“Let’s get you girls cleaned up,” Constantino said, helping Laila to the bathroom.
I stayed in bed. “I’m going to… hang back for a while. Maybe some other time.”
They never invited me into the bathroom to get cleaned up after sex. Usually, I left right away because they got intimate later. And by intimate, I meant Constantino would hold Laila the way that I wanted him and her to hold me too.
I didn’t want to see it, because it hurt.
But tonight, I couldn’t seem to pull my clothes back on and leave the room. I sat on the bed and listened to Laila giggling in the shower with her husband. Part of me felt so jealous about this whole situation, and the other part of me couldn’t stop the hot tears from piling up in my eyes from what I witnessed today.
Bethany had been so mean to Laila, but Laila had brushed it off. I didn’t know why Laila kept her around, but she didn’t seem like she had many friends. At least, not many real ones. And for some ungodly reason, it seemed like Laila wanted acceptance from Bethany.
I couldn’t understand it. It hurt so badly to watch.
After curling up into a ball, I grabbed the bedsheets and wrapped them around my body. My chest was tight, and I was trying hard not to cry. I was trying so fucking hard, but being an empath sucked sometimes.
The bathroom door opened, and Laila stepped out of the room.
“Laila,” I whispered, tears pricking the corners of my eyes.
God, what was wrong with me?
“Sage,” Laila said, wrapping a silky robe around her small frame and hurrying over to me. Steam rolled out of the bathroom as Constantino opened the door and leaned out to see what happened. “What’s wrong? Why are you upset?”
Knowing that I would never be anything more than a toy to them, I pushed away the tears and forced the fakest damn smile. “Nothing is wrong,” I lied. “That was just so intense for me. I…” I swallowed hard, my mouth parched, and turned to exit the room. “I need some rest.”
Before I could make it far, Laila seized my wrist and stopped me. “You’re lying.”
I opened my mouth to argue with her, but no words would come out. Tears filled my eyes again, and I hated the fact that I cared too much. One of my reservations about agreeing to their proposal was that I caught feelings too quickly.
It was so stupid to agree to it.
“What’s wrong?” Constantino asked, pulling a towel over his naked body. Beads of water from the shower rolled down his muscular chest and soaked into the towel. “Did I hurt you?” he asked, surprisingly concerned too.
A guy like him, who killed people ruthlessly, shouldn’t care.
“Nothing is wrong,” I repeated to convince my own self to stop with the damn tears.
“Don’t lie to me,” Constantino said, voice hardening the way it did with Laila the last time we all had sex together, the way I had heard it while he talked on the phone to his men and wanted something done. It terrified me.
I didn’t want to lie to him, because I didn’t want any punishment either.
So, I turned to Laila and frowned. “Why do you listen to Bethany?”
“What’d Bethany say?” Constantino asked, concerned.
“All she does is make snide comments,” I whispered. “About how Laila should do her makeup a certain way, get lip fillers, try out plastic surgery. She doesn’t stop, and it fucking hurts to watch.”
“Maybe that’s what I want,” Laila said.
But she was lying. She didn’t want someone to constantly put her down. Nobody did.
“Then that’s fine, but… I just…”
“You just, what?” Laila asked, crossing her arms and suddenly becoming defensive. Her strong gaze seemed to falter for a moment, then she looked down at her feet and pressed her lips together, voice softer this time. “Why are you commenting on the way I look? I thought you loved it.”
“I do, Laila,” I said.
I didn’t know how to articulate something like this without looking like a fool who had started falling for a married couple. I just wanted her to feel beautiful the way she was, and if she wanted to change it, then she could make that decision herself, and not with her best friend shoving it down her throat.
“Then, what does Bethany have to do with any of this?” she said, becoming more defensive than I had ever seen her. “Are you jealous of her?”
This time, I dropped my gaze to my feet. My mouth was so dry, my cheeks flaming hot. I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry my eyes out after what I witnessed today and after this stupid thing that I had to make into an argument.
“No,” I said, pulling on my clothes and refusing to make eye contact with her.
But I was so damn jealous of Bethany, because Laila talked about her all the time and admired Bethany’s looks, and I felt so ugly compared to her. Sometimes I really did feel like the help, because if Bethany wasthe kind of girl that Laila really enjoyed, then I was nothing.
“I’m just exhausted,” I lied again, hurrying past Laila out of the room and to the front door. “I really need to sleep. I’m just… I’m just saying things that aren’t true.” Another lie. “I’ll see you both whenever you need me.”
Before I could escape their high-rise, Laila grabbed my wrist again. “Wait, Sage, I–”
Yet I couldn’t stay here any longer. I couldn’t or else I’d ball my eyes out and confess all my feelings for her. So, I pulled my wrist out of her strong hold and shuffled out the front door. “I’m sorry. Goodnight.”