CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO –
Megan’s POV
The penthouse felt stifling, the plush couches and artfully arranged decor suffocating rather than welcoming after Jane’s bombshell decree.
My heart still pounded an erratic staccato against my ribcage when Lilly inevitably burst through the front door an hour later.
She zeroed in on me immediately where I sat motionless on the turquoise chaise.
“Well?” Her eyes sparked with fevered curiosity at my shell-shocked expression. “What fresh gender-drama travesty has that prickly succubus embroiled you in this time?”
The bitter vitriol lacing those last few words revealed she’d already divined the gist behind Jane’s appearance based on my state alone.
Drawing an unsteady breath, I met Lilly’s probing stare head-on – finding its mischievous glint offered a strange sense of needed normalcy amidst the current madness.
“She wants me to publicly date Chris as a ‘designated romantic partner,'” I admitted in a wavering tone. “Frame the entire situation under controlled conditions before the press frenzies completely out of hand.”
Lilly’s theatrical countenance shifted rapidly – eyebrows hiking incredulously before her lips slowly stretched into a rapturous grin of unholy delight.
“You… cannot… be… serious?” She seemed to taste each syllable with relish, awaiting the punchline.
Mutely, I simply shook my head and exhaled a tremulous sigh, too drained to muster more reaction than that.
Lilly reeled back on her heel, drinking in my haggard demeanor with a mixture of shock and growing exhilaration registering across those delicate features.
“But that…” Her voice crested before trailing off into an inarticulate garble of euphoric noises. Hands clasped to her lips as if physically holding back anticipated squeals of glee.
“Oh, my precious frosted daisy!” Lilly veritably cooed at last, vibrating with ill-concealed rapture. “This is quite possibly the most exquisitely perfect rom-com contrivance ever conceived for you!”
She hurried towards me, willowy frame almost levitating on a cloud of breathless excitement.
“Just imagine the sheer hilarity of you two painfully earnest bibliophiles forced into torrid fake-dating debauchery to preserve reputations and commercial appeal?”
I blanched at her audibly gleeful extrapolations, unable to staunch the rising tide of dismay further.
Plopping herself beside me on the chaise, Lilly fairly thrummed with manic energy and feminine wiles barely held in check through sheer force of her companion’s distress.
“Please don’t look so utterly aghast, Meggie!” She purred while batting my shoulder conspiratorially.
“This is merely the culmination of every sinfully delicious trope fest our little scenario has been building towards, after all!”
My arched look of incredulity only seemed to fuel Lilly’s fervor further.
“Tell me – did that hideously uptight ogre of a PR warden already contemplate hawking your impending ‘love connection’ to the highest bidding tell-all producers?” She wheedled with undisguised relish.
“Or will you and Broodylicious have free rein to stage and self-author your own farcically ham-fisted courtship plot twists for maximum salaciousness?”
I opened my mouth to admonish her unseemly excitement over the entire situation, only to falter as the enormity of Jane’s imperious declaration washed over me anew.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I inhaled a fraught breath in an attempt to ground myself against the roiling swell of panic steadily encroaching. But Lilly’s fluting tones sliced directly through my tenuous equilibrium.
“You simply must keep an immaculate dossier detailing every absurd nuance and mortifying intimacy you two end up feigning for mass consumption!” She was practically licking her chops by now.
“That way, I can experience the vicarious unpacking of your patented encyclopedic repression springing delirious leaks at every turn while that epically brooding literary Casanova savages you with his tongue-”
“Lilly!” The harsh bark ripped from my throat against my control.
My eyes snapped open to find her owlish gaze drinking in my expression of mingled horror and desperation with unabashed fascination.
“For the love of all that’s holy, will you manage a modicum of decorum and sensitivity?” I implored, voice frayed and chest heaving with building distress.
“This situation is already galling enough without your slavering debasement adding further torment!”
She blinked once, twice… before visibly tempering herself with a visible inhalation.
“Apologies,” Lilly said at last, tones deceptively contrite. “You’re quite right – the shock of this deliciously contrived ploy must make accepting any facet of its absurdist humors too premature just now.”
A wry smile ghosted over those bee-stung lips as she reached over and patted my hand lightly.
“Just promise you’ll preserve my innocently lurid hopefulness to cast myself as your official smutty memoirist, yeah? I want to immortalize every chaste yet tantalizing exchange of longing glances and heated psychoanalyzing over character motivations for posterity’s sake!”
My withering look only made her smirk broaden fractionally.
“What? This entire convoluted ‘fake beaux’ scenario is simply too delicious to approach with anything other than saccharine glee, darling!”
Reluctantly, the first faint prickling of rueful amusement needled through my steadily calcifying dread over Jane’s decree.
Of course, Lilly would position herself squarely on the side of maximizing any unintended farcical or lurid undertones awaiting my ‘designated courtship’ with Chris rather than sympathizing with my mounting inner panic.
Leave it to my acerbically saucy companion to alchemize the entire sordid mess into just another protracted foreplay session of shamelessly indulged bachelorette wish fulfillment fantasies.
“But enough vicious teasing for now, I suppose,” Lilly conceded after absorbing my scathing silence duly. Drawing back, she schooled her expression into one of studied nonchalance.
“Let’s focus on orchestrating the most proficient damage control scenario first, shall we? Starting with whether you’ve at least given the poor sap fair warning of being conscripted into service as your glorified book-promoting arm candy…”
The reminder jolted through me like an electric pulse. Chris!
I still needed to give him advance notice of the raging dumpster fire headed our way before Jane or her carefully choreographed machinations sprang the trap unceremoniously.
Rising to unsteady feet, I hastily palmed my mobile from the nearby console – acutely aware of Lilly’s penetrating gaze tracking my every move with whetted curiosity.
Fingers trembling over the screen, I began typing out a rapidly composed text summoning Chris for an urgent meeting as soon as humanly possible.
I needed to apprise him of this unravelling shitshow immediately.
And pray there remained some glimmer of our trusted rapport and professional relationship still intact to salvage after the havoc subsided.
If he would even speak to me once these sordid new pretenses were laid bare.
“Wait! You do it!” I tell Lilly.
“Wait why me?” She retorted.
“Because you’re my PA duh.” I rolled my eyes.
“It’ll look more professional.” I muttered.
“OMG! Seriously? What you are about to discuss is hundred percent do not work related, if you forget.” She pointed out.
“I know, but I can’t just call him. It has to be work. And I don’t even have the permission to call or text him on daily basis beside work and all my work schedule is done by you, that’s why you have to do it! Get it!” I rambled trying to prove my point!
“Yo, yo… No, I don’t.” She laughed.
“Is this sweet boxer nervous?” She asked giggling.
“You have to ask me that?” I yelled. “Of course. I am.” I confessed.
“Okay, okay. I’ll would. But make sure you talk about this fake dating with him don’t just stare at the guy like you did last time.” She warned and I nodded immediately making my best poppy eyes.
She called him and they talked for a minute or so, making me look at her as she takes the call.
“Well good luck Megan, he’ll come in the evening.” She smiled.