Chapter 30
Abbie
I have zero brain activity.
Holy shit.
Nikolai in a suit is…ahhh…still zero brain activity.
I stand in the closet, blinking like an idiot, while drool threatens to drip down my chin.
HOT.
Taking a deep breath, I try to calm my excited heart while I drop the towel. Digging through my luggage, I grab underwear and put my bra and panties on.
I’ve gotten used to wearing baggy clothes, but as I reach for a t-shirt, I pause to think.
It’s only Nikolai here, and he won’t do anything to hurt me.
I take out a tight pair of pants and rub the fabric between my fingers.
Do I want to feel sexy? Am I ready for that?
Before I can overthink things, I pull the pants on and pair them with a silk blouse that shows ample cleavage. I slip on my high heels and turn to look at my reflection in the mirror.
A sexy bombshell stares back at me.
Hi, Abbie.
I’ve missed you.
My eyes tear up, and I suck in deep breaths to keep from crying.
I don’t want to be this ghost anymore. I’m going to fight for you.
I want to be flirtatious again with Nikolai. I want to drive him insane with my sass and watch as he unravels.
Walking to the window, I sift through my emotions, wanting to make sure I’m ready for the next step.
I feel so safe with Nikolai, and the attraction is there. Hell, it’s grown over the past month.
My emotions calm, and for the first time since the vile act, I feel a sense of power trickle into my heart.
I want to be normal again and see where things can go with Nikolai.
Walking back to the bathroom, I free my hair from the ponytail it’s been stuck in twenty-four-seven and pull a brush through the strands.
I also swipe on some mascara and lipstick, and before I can change my mind and take it all off, I rush out of the bedroom.
I slow my pace as I near the kitchen, where I can hear Nikolai moving around.
Feeling nervous, I take a couple of quick breaths, lift my chin, and enter the kitchen. I see Nikolai seasoning steaks.
“Damn, Mr. Vetrov,” I purr.
His head snaps in my direction, his hands freezing in place. There’s surprise on his face as he stares at me.
I let my eyes drift over his body, once again thinking I’m definitely a girl who appreciates a man in a suit.
“You keep looking that hot, and I might misbehave.”
Emotion washes over Nikolai’s face as if I’d just told him I found the solution to world peace.
He tilts his head, his eyes locked on me.
Slowly I saunter closer until I’m able to place my hand on his chest. I slip my palm beneath the silky fabric of his shirt. “I really like this look on you.”
A frown forms on his forehead. “You’re looking for trouble, little girl.”
A smile splits over my face as we share this moment of me being the flirty girl who dared to hit on her instructor.
Nikolai’s eyes soften. “You look beautiful, Malyshka.”
My hand moves up until my palm rests against his jaw. “You make me feel beautiful.”
Nikolai presses a kiss to my forehead, then pulls away. “Could you open the wine and pour us some?”
“I’ve never opened one before. I scrunch my nose. “I can try, though.” He lets out a chuckle. “I’ll teach you.”
Nikolai pulls the bottle of wine closer to him, then crooks a finger at me. “Come closer.”
My stomach flutters as I step into the small space between him and the counter. He wraps his strong arms around me, his chest pressing against my
back.
My abdomen clenches so hard I go a little weak in the knees.
Oh, Jesus. I think it’s safe to say I’m not entirely broken.
The realization makes me lightheaded with happiness.
Just maybe, Nikolai has the power to heal me.
I focus on the feel of his solid chest behind me. The safety of his arms as he pulls the bottle and corkscrew closer.
His breath skims the sensitive skin beneath my ear. “Are you watching?”
“Uh-huh.” I’m freaking breathless, and all he’s doing is standing close to me.
The image of his naked body in the shower, the water pouring down his tanned skin, his impressive manhood – they bombard me until my heart is beating faster than a hummingbird’s wings.
I watch his strong hands twist the corkscrew into the cork and how easily he pulls it out.
The tension between us is palpable, my body humming with need.
Feeling nervous, I ask the most random question I can think of, “Why are you wearing a suit? Not that I’m complaining.”
“I like suits. I’m not a jeans and sweater kind of guy.” He presses a kiss to the side of my neck, then murmurs, “The jacket covers my gun.”
Jesus, the word ‘gun’ shouldn’t sound so hot on his lips.
“So you’re wearing a jacket because I’m here?” I turn around in his arms and lift my eyes to his.
At this moment, I feel like my old self – the girl who was never afraid to speak her mind. The woman who went after what she wanted.
Lifting my arms, I push the fabric off his shoulders. “I don’t mind seeing the gun. Take this off, so you look relaxed.”
Nikolai obeys and lays the fabric down on the counter before locking eyes with me again.
You can do this, Abbie. Flirting with Nikolai is safe. And God, I missed it.
Giving the man of my dreams a seductive look, I say, “The only thing that will make my view better is if you roll up your sleeves.”
Nikolai chuckles as he shakes his head at me, then he gives me my wish. My eyes are glued to his hands and forearms as he pushes the fabric up.
“Much better,” I almost purr, loving the sight of the veins snaking beneath his skin.
Nikolai captures my eyes with his and stares at me for a long moment. “Why are you staring?” I ask.
“I missed your flirtatious nature.”
I scrunch my nose. “I’m trying to reconnect with my old self.”
His tone is soft and intimate when he says, “I’m proud of you, moya lyubov’.”
I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you.
Being honest, I admit, “It’s all because of you.” I lift my hand to his jaw. “Everything feels natural with you.”
His mouth curves into the beautiful smile I love. “That makes me very happy.”
Pulling away from me, he pours two glasses of wine and hands me one. Taking the plate of steaks, he walks toward the open French doors. “Are you joining me outside?”
“Of course.”
Nikolai pauses, then points at my feet. “Take off the heels, baby. I want you to be relaxed.”
I kick them off by the doors and step out onto the veranda where the fire pit is. Taking a seat on a comfortable lounge chair, I watch as he checks whether the grill is ready.
“Tell me more about your life,” he says while he places the steaks on the grill.
“My life is actually quite boring,” I chuckle. “I attended a boarding school. After that, I got locked up for two years for sneaking out of the house. Then I was sent to St. Monarch’s.”
Nikolai flips the steaks before staring at me, anger burning in his eyes. “You were locked up?”
“Aurora and I snuck out to go to a nightclub. The place was bombed, and we got hurt.” I let out a disgruntled sigh. “Honestly, I think my father was more upset I disobeyed him than the fact that I got hurt.”
Saying it out loud makes me realize how alone I’ve been for the majority of my life. If it weren’t for Aurora, I don’t know how I would’ve survived.
There’s a dark frown on Nikolai’s face. “Your father was responsible for the bombing. He was targeting Misha and his friends.”
What?
Shock shudders through me, my mind racing to process the information. Nikolai’s expression softens. “You didn’t know.”
I shake my head. “No.”
Surely it should hurt more than it does, finding out that my own father almost killed me?
But I’m not that surprised. I always knew he’d sacrifice me in a heartbeat for his own gain.
“I’m sorry, moya lyubov’.” There’s compassion softening his eyes. “I can’t imagine what it must be like for you not to be able to depend on your parents.”
I shrug it off as if it’s nothing, something I’m used to doing all my life. “It is what it is.” I force a smile to my face. “Well, there you have it. My life in a nutshell.”
Clearly unhappy with it, Nikolai argues, “That can’t be your entire life.”
I shrug again. “Sadly, it is. My parents weren’t involved in my upbringing, that’s why I’m so close with Aurora.”
“What are your plans after you’re done with your training?”
I let out a sigh as I stare at the scenic nature at the side of the cabin. “My father wants me to take over the business.” A bitter chuckle escapes me. “There’s probably an arranged marriage waiting for me.”
When I turn my eyes back to Nikolai, it’s to see pure rage on his face. “Over my dead body, will you marry another man.”
Yeah, I didn’t think this through. My father will kill me if he finds out about Nikolai and me.
Then again, do I really care what my father thinks?
“You know how our world works, Nikolai. I don’t get to choose my husband.”
“You have a choice,” he mutters, barely controlling the sharp tone of his voice.
“What choice?”
“You have me.” Nikolai takes the steaks off the grill, then comes to crouch next to me. “You don’t have to do a single thing your father demands of you.”
Do I have the strength to tell my father to go to hell?
I’ve always obeyed his rules for the sake of peace.
“You have time. Don’t decide now,” Nikolai says. “When you’re done at St. Monarch’s, you can live with me.”
A lot can happen in three and a half years.
Wanting to put this conversation to bed, I nod. “I’ll think about it.” Rising to my feet, I pick up the plate of steaks. “I’m starving. Let’s eat.”
Thankfully, Nikolai doesn’t push the subject, and as we walk back into the cabin, I wonder about my future.
What if I say to hell with it all and take Nikolai up on his offer?
I barely slept last night.