39

39
BRANDON
This time, I see Lonnie coming, so he can’t burst in and take me by surprise. I don’t love having that bastard in my house, so I go outside to meet him.
He’s clearly been running. His face is red and he’s out of breath. “What gives?” I ask him. “You didn’t run here all the way from the Boneyard, did you?”
He shakes his head. “I’m coming from my father’s house,” he says. “We need to talk, Brandon.”
He looks serious, and it worries me. What could he possibly need to talk to me about? What could be so urgent? I can only imagine it has to be something to do with Alicia.
“Okay,” I say. “Talk.”
“Don’t you want to go inside?” “I’m fine out here.”
“Seriously, Brandon, you might not want to have this conversation publicly.”
Ordinarily I wouldn’t put any stock into what Lonnie thinks, but something about the look on his face makes me pause. “Okay,” I say. “Inside, then. Come on.”
We go into the kitchen. Brandon glances at the fridge, as if he’s expecting something, but I’m not going to offer him a drink. “What is it?” I ask.
He gets to the point. “Did you sleep with my sister?” “I-what?” How does he know that?
“I’m not going to get pissed off at you,” he says. “But I need to know the truth. When she came back to the pack two years ago to visit, did you sleep with her?”
Oh. Well, what could it hurt to let him know that? “Once,” I admit, because I only did sleep with her once back then. “We just got caught up in the moment. It wasn’t anything.”
He waves a hand, dismissing my analysis. “I don’t care what it was or wasn’t,” he says. “That isn’t the point. Did you know her baby is yours?”
“No, it’s not,” I say. “Her ex-boyfriend is the father.”
“That’s what she told you. But it’s not the truth. That’s your baby, Brandon. I didn’t know either. I just found out.”
I don’t understand. “How could you know something like that?”
“They were talking about it,” he says. “Alicia and Kayla. I just walked in on them.”
“What did they say?” He’s got to be mistaken. He’s taking something out of context. There’s no way that’s my kid.
Alicia would have told me if Emmy was mine.
But I’m thinking about her now, trying to remember her face. Trying to compare it with Alicia’s. The two of them definitely look alike, but I think Emmy’s nose might have been…different. And my mind didn’t latch onto it,
because of course she would have one or two features from her father, but now that I’m thinking about it, that narrow nose…that’s how mine looks.
But it can’t be-can it?
“They were laughing about it, actually,” Lonnie says. “Like the whole thing was some big joke. Kayla asked Alicia if you’d figured it out yet, and Alicia said you hadn’t. And then Kayla asked if Alicia was worried that you would, and Alicia said no, that you were too stupid to ever figure it out. She said before long she’d be out of town anyway, and you never would have known.”
She is awfully determined to leave. I don’t want to believe this story, but I can’t pretend it doesn’t square with some of the things I already know about Alicia.
Lonnie’s watching me, and he actually looks a little sympathetic. “I know,” he says. “She’s a bitch. I can’t believe she could do this to you. I always knew she was a slut, but to actually have a guy’s baby and refuse to tell him, even though you two have been spending time together… It’s disgusting. If someone did that to me, I’d tear her throat out. I’d show her who was stupid.”
“I’m not going to attack her.” It comes out automatically. I’m processing my shock, and the anger is settling in now. It’s close to pure rage. I haven’t been this irate in a very, very long time.
How could she have done this?
“She flaunted that kid,” I say. “She let me meet her.”
“Well, of course she did,” Lonnie says. “That fits right in with what she was saying to Kayla. They were laughing about how you had your own baby right under your nose and you were too stupid to realize it. I mean, they were
really being a couple of little shrews about it. If you’d heard them, you’d have wanted to attack them.”
“You’re saying this because you want me to help you run her out of the pack.” It’s my last grasp at a different explanation.
Lonnie shakes his head. “I know you think that’s the kind of thing I’d do,” he says. “And I admit it. I probably would have. But I’m not. This is absolutely true. She’s yours.”
I’m thinking back on Emmy’s face now, and I can’t see how Lonnie could be lying about this. I think she has my eyes, too. And she’s two years old, and it was three years ago that Alicia and I slept together for the first time…fuck, it all adds up. I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.
But I didn’t want to see it. That’s the reason. I understand that perfectly well. I never tried to add up Emmy’s age and compare it to the last time Alicia and I had been together because I didn’t want to know.
Because I wanted to believe that she was dealing with me honestly. That she wouldn’t lie.
But she did lie.
How could she have lied to me about something so important? My own child? How could she have kept her from me?
If she could lie to me about that, it’s perfectly believable that she could have mocked me with her sister. That the whole thing could have been one big joke to her.
And here I was, about to ask her to be my mate. Alicia’s right. I am an idiot.