26

26
BRANDON
I’ve been at the bar for about an hour, sitting on a stool in the corner and slowly drinking the same beer, when Kayla appears. “On your own tonight?” she asks, grabbing a stool and pulling it over to me.
“So are you,” I note. “Mind if I sit?”
“Go right ahead. Can I buy you a drink?” “If you like.”
I flag the bartender to bring a beer for her and one more for me, draining the one I’ve been working on. “What brings you out tonight?”
“This is where all the fun is,” she says. “I’m too young to stay in on a Friday night.”
I laugh-not because Kayla’s old, though she is a year older than I am, but because her personality is so infectious. It’s always been easy to see why she’s one of the most popular members of this pack.
I look around. “Is Alicia with you tonight?”
“I figured you’d be looking for her,” Kayla says. “You two have gotten close lately.”
“Yeah, I guess we have.” I wonder what Alicia has said to her about us. Kayla probably gets to hear things I don’t about how Alicia feels. I know there’s no chance she’ll tell me, and I wouldn’t want her to betray Alicia’s confidence, but it is frustrating sitting so close to someone who has the answers and knowing I can’t get them.
Still, maybe Kayla understands my frustration, because she says, “She likes you too, you know.”
“Yeah, I know she does,” I say. “I’m just not clear on how much.
Sometimes it seems like she wants me to leave her alone.”
“It isn’t that. She’s just worried about Emmy. The kid’s never been out of the human world. It’s hard having her back here for the first time. I mean, I can’t even imagine what that must be like for Alicia.”
“I’d have thought it would be good, having a shifter baby in a pack. Even if she doesn’t mean to stay.”
“It’s just complicated for her,” Kayla says. “There’s a lot to cope with. I don’t know if it’s the kind of thing you or I can really understand. Since we’re…” She trails off.
“Since we’re not parents ourselves,” I say. “Right.”
“I’m not trying to make it harder for her,” I say. “Do you think I should
leave her alone?”
“No,” Kayla says. “Honestly, I think she benefits a lot from having you around. I tried to get her to come out tonight but she said she was tired from being out all day-I did think you might be here. But the only possible
babysitter was David, and even though he’s decent as a brother-in-law, he’s not the most responsible guy.”
I nod. I don’t mind David personally, but I wouldn’t leave him in charge of a plant. “I see what you mean,” I say.
“I think she’s having some mixed feelings,” Kayla says. “She’s not sure what she wants.”
“That would explain why she seems so back and forth all the time,” I say. “Sometimes, when we’re together, it feels like the chemistry between us is almost otherworldly. And then she pulls away.”
“That’s Alicia,” Kayla says. “She’s guarded. If she thinks you’re getting too close, she’ll pull back.”
“But you do think she wants me.”
“I don’t know,” Kayla says. “I can’t answer that. I don’t speak for her. But the real question is, do you want her?”
Fair question.
I like spending time with Alicia. I’ve loved having her around and getting to know her again, now that we’re not young anymore. And obviously, the sex is great. I can think of a million things I’d like to do with her that I haven’t gotten the chance to try yet.
But I can tell that none of that is what Kayla’s asking. She doesn’t want to know if I find her sister fuckable.
She wants to know if I’d accept her as a mate.
Could I do that again? Could I take a chance on Alicia? What if she rejected me again? It hurt the first time. This time, I think it might really crush me. And it’s not like she’s been devoted to me since she’s been back.
“She’s not staying here,” I say. “She’s leaving the pack.” “Maybe,” Kayla says. “She might stay if you gave her a reason.”
“Why do you want to see me with her so badly?”
Kayla shrugs. “I think you two are a good fit,” she says. “Does it have to be deeper than that?”
She’s not looking me in the eye, and I suspect it is actually deeper than that. But I decide not to push her.
“I guess not,” I say. “But it’s fighting a losing battle. She wants to leave the pack behind. And every time I go over there, I feel like someone has to push her out the door just to get her to see me.”
“But you and I could figure out a way to get her out of the house,” Kayla says.
“I’m listening.”
“If you want to see her tomorrow, you could go down to the river,” Kayla says. “And I could figure out a way to get her there. You could just…happen to cross each other’s paths.”
I do like the idea. And I’d definitely like to see her tomorrow. “I could be at the river,” I say.
“Around noon, maybe?” “Sure, I can do that.”
“Well, maybe you’ll see Alicia there, then,” Kayla says. “She could use a little time away from the baby. She’s had nothing but mom time for the past two years. It’ll be good for her to do something fun, if nothing else.”
I smile. “You mean, even if she and I don’t end up together?”
“I still can’t tell if that’s what you even want,” Kayla says. “Honestly, getting you two to admit your feelings for each other is like herding cats.”
“You’re so sure you’re right about this.” “Sisters always know.”
Maybe they do. Hell, maybe she’s right. I won’t deny that I have feelings
for Alicia.
But feelings aren’t everything.
If she’s going to take her daughter and go back to the human world, I just don’t see how it could ever work out between the two of us.