10
ALICIA
“This is heaven,” I admit, sitting down at the kitchen table with my sister. “She never goes to sleep that easily at home.”
Kayla laughs. “That’s because she’s never had her favorite auntie to put her to sleep before,” she says.
“She’s really taken to you,” I say. “You’re good with her too, Kay.” “Kind of wild, right?”
“You might have to come with me when I go home,” I say. “I’m completely spoiled now.”
“Or you could stay here,” Kayla says. “Kay-”
“I know. I said I wouldn’t bother you about it. And I won’t… but just think about it,” she says earnestly. “I miss you so much when you’re gone.”
I sigh. “I miss you too. You know that. But my whole life is away from here.”
“What’s so important that you can’t leave it?” she asks. “You broke up with your boyfriend. Emmy’s here with us. Do you love your job that much?”
“No,” I admit. I don’t even really like my job-I’ve been working as a bartender, and it barely covers rent. Not to mention the fact that, now that I’ve split with Chad, I have no idea what I’m going to do about childcare during my shifts. He wasn’t good for much, but I trusted him with Emmy in an emergency, at least-and he was free.
Kayla opens her mouth to continue the argument, but she’s interrupted by a knock on the door.
I jump to my feet, glad for the excuse to stop talking about this, and hurry over to answer it.
“Jeez,” Kayla calls after me. “Expecting someone?”
I’m not-and I’m definitely not expecting to see Brandon standing there when I open the door. His curly hair is disheveled, and I can see beads of sweat on the back of his neck from the summer heat. He’s wearing shorts that expose his muscled thighs.
Holy shit. For a moment, I can’t remember how to talk.
Kayla appears beside me. “Brandon!” she says. “Haven’t seen you in a minute.”
“Hey, Kayla,” he says. Then he looks at me. “Hey, Alicia.” “Hi,” I say.
“Thought you might like to go for a walk.”
Does he mean a walk, or does he mean sex? I’m not sure. I’m not sure if it would change my answer. And either way… “I can’t,” I say.
“Oh, yes you can,” Kayla says brightly. “Go on, have fun. I’ll watch the baby for you.”
Shit.
I see the look that crosses Brandon’s face, and I wonder if my sister could possibly have any idea what she’s done. Immediately, though, I’m in damage
control mode. “Okay,” I say. I step out the door and pull it closed behind me before Kayla can say anything else. I’ll deal with her later.
To his credit, Brandon waits until we’re out of earshot of the house before he asks the question. “Baby?”
“Yeah.” My heart is pounding. No. No no no. This is the worst case scenario, the one thing I did not want to have happen.
“Yours?” I hesitate.
“I can tell you’re nervous,” he says flatly. “I know you well enough to know that.”
He’s right. I can’t lie right to his face. He’d know. “Mine, yeah.” My mind is racing. There’s got to be a way out of this.
“So you’re…” He hesitates, framing the question. “You’re involved with somebody?”
“Oh, no,” I say. “She’s my ex’s.” “Oh,” he says.
“He’s not around,” I say, unsure why I’m elaborating on my lie, but feeling the need to do it anyway. “It’s just the two of us.”
“And Kayla’s watching the baby for you,” he says.
I nod. “So I can probably stay out as long as I want to.”
Fuck. Am I really dropping these kinds of hints? Am I really suggesting what I think I’m suggesting?
Brandon turns to me and grins, and I know that he’s picking up exactly what I’m putting down. “What did you have in mind?” he asks.
Well, might as well throw caution to the wind. “Let’s see where the day takes us.”
He laughs. “You haven’t changed.”
“Haven’t I?” I feel like I have. I feel like a whole lifetime has gone by since the last time I saw Brandon, andthat was just three years ago.
“You were always like this,” Brandon says. “I was always like what?”
But he smiles at me. “Adventurous,” he says. “Willing to go wherever life takes you.”
“That’s how you see me?”
“Well, am I wrong?” he asks. “Not to bring up touchy subjects, but…how long were you planning your escape to the human world?”
“I didn’t really plan it,” I tell him. “I got into a fight with my family the evening after the ceremony, and I just decided it was time to go.”
“At the spur of the moment,” he says. “And then you didn’t come back for twenty years.”
“Going away is easier than coming back,” I tell him. I feel like it’s the most honest thing I’ve said in a very long time.
“You should come back more often,” he says. “Maybe then it wouldn’t be so hard.”
Maybe he has a point. Seeing my family this time was a lot easier than it was three years ago. Maybe I really should come back more often.
I think about Kayla arguing that I should just stay.
This is a slippery slope, and I’m not sure it’s one I can afford to think about. Emmy has to be my priority. I can’t raise her here, in proximity to her birth father, and just keep hoping that no one ever finds out about the connection between them. She doesn’t look that much like him now, but I can’t afford to bank on that lasting forever.
“Do you want to go to the bar?” Brandon suggests. “Drinks are on me.” Shifter bars are so different from human bars, and I’ve missed their energy.
“Sure,” I say. “You’re on. But you’ve got to let me buy the first round.” He laughs. “It’s a deal.”
He turns toward the bar and I turn along with him. I wonder where this night is going to take us, but at the same time, I don’t wonder at all. It’s already starting to feel like a foregone conclusion.
At least Kayla won’t mind when I don’t come home until late. Seeing me with Brandon is exactly what she wants.