Tony
“Hey.” Pepper walks out of my bedroom with a sheet wrapped under her armpits at three in the afternoon. I tried to keep her dressed last night; I sure as hell didn’t want her waking up this morning thinking I’d taken advantage of her. But she’d insisted on taking her clothes off before she crawled in my bed, said she was hot.
Which meant I slept on the couch.
Sleep rumpled and flushed, her full lips parted, she looks just like Venus on the Half-Shell, now. If Venus had a fluffy platinum and pink bob and pierced nose, that is.
“Hey.” I get up from the table where I was sitting and scan her with concern, noting the finger bruises on her neck. “How are you today?” I walk toward her but don’t touch. I’m not sure the reception I’ll get now that she’s not drugged.
“Okay.” Her eyes dance around my suite. I hope she’s not pissed I brought her here. I just couldn’t believe she’d want to go back to her room where it all went down with Hugh. “I remember everything.”
“You do?” I peer into her face.
She closes the distance between us and leans her weight into me.
I gather her up, carry her to the sofa and sit with her on my lap.
“I told myself I had to. I won’t be able to testify if I can’t remember anything.” She shifts on my lap to face me more. “I remember you held back from hurting him last night because I asked you to.”
I close my eyes. “I still want to kill Hugh, but I know we did the right thing. I just wish I’d done the right thing with Ernie Denesto, too, and we could solidify the attempted murder case against Hugh.” When her brow wrinkles in confusion, I brush her hair from her face. “The hitman Hugh sent to kill you. For your life insurance money.”
Her jaw drops. “I hadn’t put that together yet. The man you killed in the stairwell. He was after me?”
I nod. “I think so, songbird. And we talked about the accident that nearly killed Izzy-do you remember that?”
“I remember.” She shivers and I rub my hands up and down her arms, even though I know she’s not cold.
“Pepper, I’m sorry for what I did. And I’m sorry you had to see it. I kept thinking how close he’d come to killing you, and I just sort of… lost my shit.”
She shakes her head. “No, you saved my life. Yeah, you went too far, but your heart was in the right place. You were protecting me. And I shouldn’t have believed any different about you.”
I trace a light line over her forearm, summoning the courage to speak. I have to get this out-lay it all on the table. “Pepper… you know some of what I’ve done. I’ve killed. I’ve beaten. I’ve intimidated. I’ve followed orders blindly. And I’ve also acted on my own to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves.
“But I can tell you this. I’ve never harmed an innocent. I’ve never killed anyone who wasn’t a threat to others. And since I left Chicago for Vegas, I’ve left illegal activity behind me. We got sucked into the thing with Hugh and your record label because we have a venue here and we’re Family. Not because we’re part of racketeering. We wanted no part of it.
“And I swear to Christ, even if I hadn’t fallen hard for you, I never would’ve harmed you, or your parents or even Hugh. I mean, if Hugh hadn’t touched you.”
Pepper hasn’t moved since I started talking, but she covers my roving fingers now, stopping the movement and tangling her digits over the top.
“And if you’d have me-if you would consider letting me into your life, baby, I would quit the Family and walk away forever. Beg you for the bodyguard job. Because the only place I want to use my brawn is protecting you. Keeping you safe, songbird.”
“Can you leave? Walk away?” Her voice is hushed.
I hesitate. “Yeah. Nico would let me go. He’d be sorry, but he would never keep me from you.”
“What about that other guy-Junior?”
I make a grumbling sound in my throat. “A little more difficult, but like I say, I don’t work for him anymore. Only reason I got sucked into this was because we have a stage. And, of course, Junior knew that when he loaned you the money.”
After a moment of silence, I ask, “Does this mean you’re considering it? Considering… us?”
She tightens her grip on my fingers. “I wrote you a song.”
I go still. “You did?”
“Yeah. Wanna hear it?”
“Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I want to hear it.”
She gets up and starts to walk away, the sheet dropping to below her waist in the back, giving me the delicious line of her bare back and the top of her scrumptious ass. I grab the fabric and tug her back onto my lap. “Wait a minute.” I tip her backward and kiss her mouth, cup her breast with my hand. “Are you stalling, songbird? You don’t want to answer my question?”
She rubs her lips together. They’re plump from the kissing. “The song is my answer.” Her voice is no longer raspy-it’s husky sweetness. Honey and silk. She meets my gaze steadily.
Pepper
When I was home in L. A. it was the first time I’d been alone.
Ever.
Like the Wonder Twins, I went on the road at sixteen. I was catapulted into instant fame, which means the last seven years have been non-stop recording, events and tours.
So being alone for more than a few hours was a major event for me. I got to really listen to my own yearnings. Figure out what I wanted to do to fill my time, what I wanted to eat, how I could nurture myself.
Every minute was spent grieving for Tony-for what could’ve been. What couldn’t be. And yet it was still a deeply healing time for me.
I took baths. Ordered takeout.
I wrote music. I slept. I centered.
And knowing I could be alone, that I’d make it without even one single other person directing my life, makes choosing to be with Tony even more of a gift.
Because I do choose him. He thought he was soulless. I know the truth.
He’s all heart.
He’s loyalty and love. Yes, he comes from a violent world. But he uses it to do good. To restore balance. To defend the weak.
To defend me.
My acoustic guitar is in my suite, which has been sealed off by the police, so we go down to the theater and I strap on my electric.
I turn on the sound system and get a mic, set it up like a concert for one.
“You sit down there.” I point to the theater seats.
Tony goes without question.
I wrote him a love song. Two, actually. But the one I play for him now is more about dark burning need. It has a driving punk beat inspired by The Sores, and dirty lyrics.
I was dead when I met you.
Sealed into wax, unable to blink.
You shocked me out. Shocked me up.
No time to wait. No time to think.
Plastered on the wall, wrists in your fist,
You flipped the switch, You flipped the switch.
Bring it to me, bring it to me, bring it to me now.
Give it to me, give it to me, give it to me how.
I need you. I need you.
I riff with it, finding the joy of improvisation and creation. By the time I’m done, I’m lost in the pleasure of music, wrapped in the inspiration of Tony. Everything he means to me, even after such a short time.
I open my eyes-yeah, I guess I closed them at some point-and peek at my audience.
He’s leaning back in the chair, one knee crossed over his leg, his mouth covered with his hand.
He doesn’t say a word.
I slowly set the guitar on its stand, trying to control the palpitations in my chest. Was it terrible? Did he hate it? Did he expect more? Maybe I should’ve sung one of the love songs.
I lean into one hip. “What?”
He lunges out of his seat to the edge of the stage and tugs my ankle forward until I topple off into his arms. “Fucking genius.” His voice breaks. “You wrote that for me?”
Oh Jesus, is he blinking back tears?
“I wrote some other ones, too.”
“Don’t play them now.” He turns slowly with me in his arms, like we’re in one of those movie scenes where the camera’s circling the couple.
“Why not?”
“Give me a chance to get myself back together, baby. You’re killing me.”
I touch his face. “Killing you softly?”
“Yeah. Exactly.” He smiles and I know he gets the reference to the Fugees song.
“I love you.”
He drags in a shaky breath. “I love you, Pepper Heart. I would get down on a knee and offer you forever right now if I didn’t think it would scare you off.”
My vision blurs as I laugh. “Yeah, maybe it’s a little soon. Would you consider the manager position?”
“Manager. Bodyguard. Giver of orgasms. I’m whatever you need me to be. Every time. I’m all yours, songbird. However you want me.”