DEAR JOURNAL
Reid had drunk a bit too much. He staggered into the building, using the elevator as he almost stumbled.
He hated himself much more than he had ever done. How could he make a bet on Maria? Were his friends making it all up? he thought even though he was drunk beyond tipsy and not fully drunk beyond ‘drunk’.
He dragged himself out of the elevator when its door chimed open. He walked drunkenly to his door. He pressed in the passcode but the door made an incorrect sound making him steep in a frown on his drunk face.
“Why the hell won’t you open as well?! She isn’t willing to open her heart to me and so will you?” he spoke to the door as though it could listen to him. He rested on the door, banging on it drunkenly and sobbing softly when the door opened, causing him to fall onto her apartment.
Maria looked so scared and shocked at the same time. Although she had just been woken from her sleep by the loud noise he was making but her face wouldn’t stop with the flush.
Reid groaned loudly on the ground as he struggled to stand to his feet. Maria held him as she walked him to the living room.
“Why on earth are you always drunk? And why would you even always end up at my place?” she asked rhetorically, not particularly waiting for a response from him.
“You really don’t know why?” he asked, standing from the sofa as he staggered away.
“Where are you going?”
“To a place where I’m wanted and appreciated.”
“You don’t feel like that here?”
“Not when you say those words. Not when it’d seem like a violation to your boyfriend if I’m here,” as he said those words, he turned to face her and then he noticed her move her hand to her cheeks.
He squinted his eyes, shutting them and opening them to look at her well.
“What happened?” he asked.
“What? Nothing,” she instantly moved her hand off her face as she smiled.
“What happened, Maria?” he yelled and now, tears were rolling down her cheeks again. She felt so exhausted beyond words at the moment. She had cried a lot more than she had planned today.
“Can everyone stop yelling the fuck at me?! I’m exhausted!” she exclaimed, settling on the sofa.
“What do you mean ‘everyone’ Maria? Tell me!” he asked softly sitting on the sofa, closely beside her.
“Tell me everything,” he repeated. His voice sounded so soft that it could soothe for a lullaby, soothing her soul.
She opened her mouth a few times, trying to make out words to say but not a single sound was made. She stared straight ahead of her without a glance at Reid whose eyes were shutting slowly as the second passed.
“He hit me. Kyros fucking hit me. He’s a goddamn monster and I curse the day I met him and professed my love to him!” she finally said and as she looked over at him to get a word from him, his head fell and rested on her shoulder. He was far gone in his sleep as he snored softly.
She ran her thumb on his lips and his eyebrow. She weirdly inhaled the smell of liquor oozing out of his breath and how he moved his mouth like he was chewing something in his sleep, causing her to smile.
She cleaned her face which had welcomed tears from her eyes as she gently laid him back on the sofa. She walked to her room to bring a duvet for him. She covered him and as she was about to leave, she heard him mutter something about ‘the gamble’.
“Does Reid Martakis gamble too? That’d be news to me,” she commented before tucking his hand back under the duvet.
She gulped down a bottle of water before putting ice on her cheeks that had remained red since Kyros left.
She glanced over at Reid who was still very much deep in his sleep before she walked back to her room.
She lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and finding it quite hard to sleep since she had just woken up from a sound sleep not quite long.
She had a lot on her mind which was disrupting her from sleeping, one of which was how she had not gotten in touch with her family who are in fact her priority. She hated herself for bot calling her to know how she was now fairing.
She took her phone to check the time and saw that it was way past her time to be up. She decided to make sure to put a call through the next day.
But now, she was left with not a single blink as a sign of sleep. She eventually sat up in bed and sat by her desk. She brought out her journal which had been like a prohibition for documentation.
She blew off the little dust that had settled on it before opening a new page. She was intentional to make sure not to read through her childish writings which were cringy.
She stared straight ahead at nothing in particular as she thought hard for a few seconds before finally picking her pen up to write.
“Dear journal,” she started with all seriousness. “It had been a non-serene year of not attempting to speak to you but here I am again like the prodigal son, writing to you since you’re the only one who listens. Would you believe it if I said I missed you? Oh, no. You wouldn’t since you’re not a living thing or you are since you listen to my thoughts. Or probably, you’re not. Let’s just settle with the fact that you are a non-living thing but sheet of papers. It might hurt but it’s the fact. Sorry, not sorry. But then, let me get down to the main reason I’m writing you this time. But sincerely, I do not know where I am meant to start since I have a whole lot of stuff on my mind that you might end up not wanting to listen to me no more. Or should I start with the fact that Reid is one gorgeous young man with fine lashes and awesome eyebrows? Hold on? Have you met Reid? Oh no, you haven’t. A lot happened while you were gone or when I didn’t write to you or whatever,” she scoffed before she continued.
“Or probably, I should start with the fact that I have been the shittiest daughter living on earth. Lately, I haven’t been that kid my family would be proud of as I have been far away from them. I should definitely start with how distant I have been from my friends to sweet Genevieve and my awesome Athina since my time had been invested in Kyros who I found out to be a lawless lawyer. Talking of Kyros, I think I should start with him.
Dear journal, I wish I hadn’t met him. He hit me while I confronted him. You wanna know why I confront him? He’s a fucking killer, a remorseless monster,” as her thoughts winded back, tears dropped from her eyes and she hurriedly cleaned them off like she was trying to hide her tears from a person watching her.
The thought of someone probably watching her made her heart race with goosebumps reflecting on her skin as she looked slowly around her.
“I hate that I miss him right now. I hate that I feel helpless and drawing away from things that matter to me. I hate that I’ve tears streaming down my eyes right now and I so much hate the fact that I can’t stop them. I fucking hate that I have cried too much today and the fact that I can’t stop myself from doing that right now irks me more than my high school assignment. I fucking hate everything right now!” she rested her head on the desk, sobbing and drowning in her tears uncontrollably.
“I wanna fucking stop crying! I’m not the type that cries this much,” she raised her head and saw how drenched her journal was which made her cry even more.
“You know I don’t cry, yeah? But the fact that I am tearing up again because I have you all soaked is really getting me mad!”
“Maria,” she jerked on her seat as she looked back to see Reid standing behind her. She hadn’t heard him walk in.
“What’s wrong, Maria?” he asked, bending on his toes to fit her sitting posture.
“I wish I could tell,” she said, sobbing into his shoulder.
“It’s alright, Maria,”
“No. It’s not alright. I’m scared. He’s a fucking killer, Reid. He’s a murderer!” she said into his shoulder without raising her head.
“Do you mean Kyros?” he asked with all enthusiasm but he got no response from her.
“Do you mean Kyros, Maria?!” he asked again and there was still no response from her. He looked down at her and saw that she was fast asleep.