“A Gatorade would be nice,” I said. Then I grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. I whispered in her ear. “You might want to get some breath mints.”
She nodded. “You don’t know the half of it. That stuff doesn’t sit well in my stomach. And you had to pump out enough to choke a pro. I’m gonna need some pepto, or alka-seltzer or something. I hope you appreciate it.”
I gave her a hug. “I hope to show you how much, in just a little while.”
She gave me a peck on the cheek, and I looked over to see that Mom was watching our whole little scene. Busted.
Oh well. I happened to know that she hadn’t been the perfect little innocent on that trip either. Not with Colin in the state he must have been in. Even she said it, he had his “hands full.”
* * *
After filling the tank, I moved the Jeep and parked in front of the building. Stretching gingerly, I realized I had been more uncomfortable than I’d realized, and my legs were aching.
I hit the head, and found Mom and Dad chatting again. Dad seemed preoccupied. I went over to pass him the keys, and he pulled me to the side.
“Listen Jeremy, I need you to do me a favor.”
“Of course. What?”
He looked around briefly. “Your cousin was getting a little too friendly with your mother, on the ride. She’s a little nervous over the whole thing. Not that I don’t understand how that might happen. We all know how he feels about your mother. She’s a handful, and for a young man to have that sitting in his lap for such an extended period, you can see how things might, well, come up.” He looked at me very directly to make sure I got the point.
“Colin is still immature in a lot of ways. Sometimes he doesn’t have the sense that God gave a goose. I don’t think your mother should be sitting with him any longer. Can you switch seats with him? Let his Mother deal with his wandering hands. And other things.”
“Of course Dad. Why don’t I just say something to him?”
Dad shook his head. “I don’t want to if we don’t have to. This day was too right, too perfect. To mess it up like that. So far there’s no damage done. Just some teenage foolishness. Hell, it’s his dream come true. Let’s just try to keep it in check.”
“Alright. I won’t say anything tonight. We’ll see about tomorrow. It burns me up thinking about him doing anything to Mom.”
It was the truth. Maybe not fair or even sensible, but hey, I’m a teenager, and that’s my Mom.
“Let it go, for now. Your mother is handling it. Think you can broach the subject of switching places? Be better if it came from you.”
I didn’t think Aunt Marie would like to hear me suggesting that. I could see inside the store that Mom and Aunt Marie were huddled together like accomplices planning a crime. They looked pretty animated.
“Sure, Dad. I’ll take care of it.”
He put his hand on my shoulder. “I’m proud of you son. You took an awkward situation and handled it like a man. It’d be nice if you and Colin could spend more time together. Maybe you’d rub off on him a bit.”
I was feeling a little guilty now. If Dad knew that my ‘manly’ way of handling things was getting a blow-job from my MILF aunt, he might feel differently.
When the Moms came out finally, Aunt Marie was blatant, walking right toward me, Gatorade in hand. She had a beer in her other. There was a definite swing in her step. “Ready for hour two?” she teased.
“Dad wants us to change up the seating,” I told her, walking with her around the back of the car, to avoid everyone else.
She looked over at him nervously. “Are we busted?”
“I don’t think so, but he’s acting pretty damned suspicious. We gotta cool it,” I said. Seemed better than saying ‘your son got too grabby’.
“Crap,” she glanced over at my Dad. “I’ll make it up to you later, I promise.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.” I opened the rear door for her. “Hey Colin. Let’s switch, Ok? I want to talk to Mom a bit.”
I saw him struggle against the urge to argue, but how could he? “Sure,” he finally said, sounding more than a little dejected.
I went over and joined Mom. “That Ok with you, Mom?”
“Of course. I’d love to have a chance to ‘chat’ with my favorite boy.” Her tone had a bit of a challenge to it.
I climbed into the front seat, relieved to have a little more room both at the legs and to the sides.
“Ready for me?” Mom asked.
I patted my lap. “Absolutely.”
Mom slid into my lap, and I couldn’t help but immediately recall all the things that I’d done with her little sister. Not good. Think of something else or I’d have some serious explaining to do.
“Alright. If traffic isn’t a problem, we should be back home in an hour, maybe an hour and a quarter at worst. Everybody settled in?”
“Ready over here,” I announced.
“Back here too,” Aunt Marie answered.
“Great. We’re off.” Dad backed out, cranked up his tunes, and we hit the open road.
We were barely back on the blacktop before Mom twisted in her seat, sitting at an angle across my lap, her weight mostly on my right thigh. She leaned against the door, and glared at me.
Crap. This didn’t look good. “Everything,” she hissed. “You’re going to tell me everything Marie did to you.”
Funny how she phrased it. Not what I did to her, but what she did to me. I was a little set off by her tone. “Ok, Mom, but you’re going to tell me everything that went on up here, that had Dad telling me to switch seats.”
Her eyes blazed. “That’s none of your damned business! I’m the adult here.”
“As am I, Mom, or have you forgotten?”
“Do as your told, young man!” she snapped, loud enough to get Dad’s attention.
“What was that Dear?” he asked.
“Nothing honey, we’re just chatting,” Mom said casually.
“Ok, didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said. I heard him turn the music up just a bit louder.
I didn’t want her angry with me. I knew that I had already pushed things too far. I pulled Mom closer wrapping my arm around her waist, and resting my hand on her leg. She stiffened. “You’re right Mom. Sorry. I’ll tell you everything. I was just curious, you know? Dad confronting me like that. I almost had a go at Colin.”
I could see her anger recede, and her eyes softened. “Don’t do that. It wasn’t that big a deal, really.”
“Ok. I’d still like to hear it, if you don’t mind afterwards. But if not, that’s Ok too.”
She put her hand on mine and nodded. “We’ll see. Now start at the beginning.”
I explained how much tighter the seating was in back, and how we were boxed in. “Remember how bumpy the road was? We were being bounced around like throw toys.”
“How exactly were you seated?” she asked.
She almost leaped out of her skin, when I pulled her back over onto my lap. “We were like this, but her legs were outside of mine, otherwise she’d slide down between my legs.”
Mom opened hers a bit, and slid them over mine. “Like this?” she asked.