“Cake for breakfast? Wow, this birthday is officially my favourite one so far.” I smile, taking the plate from Jedd. We all sang Happy Birthday which resulted in me turning bright red. Eighteen candles flickered away in the morning sunlight as I thought hard about my wish, it was pretty simple . . .
I wish to be happy.
The truly cheek numbing happiness that lights you up from inside, resulting in every fibre of your body waking up and living.
“So what did you wish for?” Tia asks me, her need to know everything taking over. I roll my eyes at her — “I can’t tell you otherwise it won’t come true and I really want it to come true.”
She pouts at me but waltz’s off, satisfied enough with my answer. I slice a huge chunk of cake for myself, taking a first bite. It’s a Victoria sponge with a thick layer of cream in the middle. . . My favourite flavour of cake.
“This—is—amazing.” I gush through mouthfuls, crumbs of cake spraying into the open air. Jedd chuckles, reaching over and plucking the fork from my hands before diving in for a piece. I make a disgruntled noise in protest but push the plate closer to him so he can have a bite.
“It’s good, right?” I question him and he nods, already going in for seconds.
“My plan was to eat healthy throughout winter.” Jedd comments with a pained look on his face.
“One slice of cake won’t make much difference, it’s my birthday. You have to have some.” I hit back. He nods through chewing, agreeing with me. A solemn look suddenly passes over his features and I frown, sitting up a little straighter. Jedd chews slowly before placing the fork down, the metal clinking against the plate.
“What is it?” I ask him, a little bewildered at his sudden change in personality.
“I have something to tell you.” He says slowly, glancing around to make sure nobody is in earshot.
“Okay . . . ” I drawl out, small amounts of dread beginning to fill me. Jedd sighs heavily before continuing — “Mum called me yesterday. She wants to see you.”
I wasn’t expecting that.
I release a small scoff, reaching over to take back my fork and the remanents of the cake.
“That’s not going to happen. I haven’t seen her in over two years and the woman practically hates me. I don’t want to see her.” I protest, shaking my head. Jedd winces —
“She doesn’t hate you kiddo.”
“Oh come on Jedd. She abondoned us both. We haven’t had a mother for god knows how long and she doesn’t make any effort to see us whatsoever.” I respond, my voice rising slightly. I breathe in sharply, trying my best to calm down. It doesn’t work.
The topic of my mother always manages to wind me up. The woman doesn’t have a single maternal instinct in her body.
“She’s making the effort now, I’m just the messenger here. It’s your choice Bella, I know she hurt you.” Jedd says quietly.
“My choice at this exact moment is no. Maybe it’s a relationship I’ll rekindle in the future but for now, I’m happy with my current circle of family.” I tell him. He nods slowly, appearing understanding of my response.
The pain of my mother abandoning me hasn’t disappeared yet and I don’t know if it ever will. Tia suddenly appears by my side, glancing at my facial expression warily.
“Why do you look like you want to murder somebody? Can that somebody please not be me?” She says cautiously, glancing between Jedd and I. Moments of silence pass between all three of us and eventually I let out a small groan, placing my hands over my face.
*****
When we arrive home from the weekend away at the cabin, I’m greeted by Dad at the front door. He’s clutching a bunch of flowers and a small wrapped up present. I pull open the car door, stepping out carefully onto the slippery sidewalks. Dad’s entire face lights up as he sees me and I make my way over to him, a warm smile on my face. As soon as I’m close enough, he embraces me tightly. I clutch onto him just as fiercely, breathing in his comforting scent.
“Happy Birthday Bella-Boo,” he murmurs into my hair. I smile and pull back, reaching up to place a light kiss over his cheek. The stubble running along his jaw scratches my skin, just like it did when I was a child.
“Someone is waiting for you inside,” Dad says, surprising me. His lips curl up into a knowing smile, like he’s in on something that I don’t know about. I laugh quietly, glancing over my shoulder to look at Jedd who’s leaning back against his car. His arms are crossed over and he has the same look across his face.
“Who’s waiting for me?” I ask both of them, intrigued and nervous at the same time. Jedd shrugs however his eyes light up as he glances over my shoulder towards my father’s direction.
“You should go inside Bella. Don’t forget, I’m proud of you.” Dad says softly from behind me, guiding me towards the door. Before I enter, he hands me the flowers and I take them from him, the cellophane wrapping crinkling in my hands. I frown but don’t say anything and gingerly take a step inside. The hallway is eerily quiet and I clutch onto on the flowers tightly. Their scent floats up towards me and I breathe it in deeply. Weirdly enough, it calms my nerves.
I take a few more steps inside and wonder who’s going to pop out and yell surprise! when I least expect it. The thought makes me cringe. I don’t like surprises, I never have.
“Upstairs Bella!” Dad yells from the front door and I turn around, giving him a quick glance. He’s still smiling, his cheeks plump and slightly rosy due to the cold outside. I wonder how long him and Jedd are going to stand out there before they both catch frostbite.
“Okay . . . ” I drift off, kicking my shoes off before beginning to climb up the stairs. My feet sink into the plush carpet and I feel my fingers tighten around the flowers due to the nerves bubbling away inside of me. The house remains silent and I hold my breath as I tip-toe along the landing. I suddenly stop, my eyes glued to my bedroom door.
Its closed shut but I can see a faint glow coming from it, lighting up the doorway with a soft yellow tinge.
“Hello?” I call out, my voice shaking slightly. I uneasily glance back down the stairs, wondering whether I should go question Dad and Jedd before entering my room.
That’s when I hear it.
The soft notes of music filling the air.
It starts off quiet and gradually grows louder, luring me in. I don’t move an inch from the spot on the landing, barely breathing as I stare at my bedroom door. A few moments pass and I see it opening. I’m almost knocked sideways in surprise as Brody fills my doorway, standing up. The hold on the flowers in my hand loosens and they tumble to the floor but my focus isn’t on them.
It’s on Brody.
He’s wearing a plain black shirt and denim jeans, dark hair messily tousled on top of his head. The instant he appears, his striking green eyes connect with mine, knocking the breath out of me completely. His lips are turned up into a soft smile however I don’t miss the nervous flicker flash over his eyes. We both stare at each other and I feel myself begin to sway so I reach out with my free hand, leaning against the wall.
Brody mirrors my action, using my bedroom door frame as his support. I can see the light glowing strongly from behind him, illuminating him like a modern day angel.
“Brody,” I say, the surprise clear as day in my voice. He clears his throat, his eyes falling to the floor before flickering back up to look into mine.
“Bella.” He responds, his tone wavering slightly. My thoughts turn back to the phone call last night where we
both admitted to missing each other. I look at him intensely, wondering whether he’s thinking about the phone call too.
“W-what are you doing here?” I ask, my words almost a whisper. He breathes in deeply before letting go of the door and standing up straight.
“H-how are you doing that. . .”
I watch in complete awe as he takes the slowest of steps forward. His entire face is scrunched up with concentration as he places one foot in front of the other. I’m too stunned and shocked and amazed all at once to speak so I simply stare at him, my mouth open unattractively. Once he takes the first step, he doesn’t stop.
He continues to walk towards me, slowly but surely. He doesn’t once stumble or use the wall for support. He’s doing it all on his own. At one point, I see his left leg begin to shake so I lunge forward, ready to help. He immediately shakes his head, gritting his teeth tightly together. His jaw is locked in place, sharp and striking due to the effort.
“Don’t help me Bella.” So I don’t.
I remain rooted to the spot as he grows closer and closer. It doesn’t dawn on me that he’s actually walking until he’s standing directly in front of me. His scent immediately slaps me in the face, making me swoon within seconds. I remind myself to breathe as I tilt my head up, looking into those green eyes that changed my entire life. He looks taller than I remember to be and definitely more broader.
“I can’t believe you just did that.” I whisper, my heart hammering inside my chest. He’s so close, I’m sure he could feel my heart beat through my jumper. Almost as if he can read my thoughts, he reaches up with his hand. His fingers caress my jawline and I inhale sharply, my entire body trembling with anticipation. His fingers travel upwards until they wrap themselves in my hair and I feel my legs begin to buckle underneath me. The electricity I feel soars right through me, igniting everything I have to offer.
“Come with me,” he murmurs, leaning towards my ear. The low rumble of his voice sends a million and one butterflies exploding in my stomach. I don’t say anything and nod, immediately reaching for his hand. Our fingers intertwine together and for a few seconds, I glance down at them, taking in the sight. His grip is strong and fierce, almost as if he’s terrified of losing me if he lets go. When I glance up, he’s doing the exact same thing, staring down at our hands.
He gently tugs on my hand and we both begin to make our way towards my room. Each step we take is slow but steady, both of us relying on the other for support. I feel nauseous with anticipation as I push open my bedroom door. A small gasp escapes my lips as I’m greeted by hundreds of fairy lights.
The glow and sparkle of them covers the wall, wrap around my bed and travel up to my ceiling. I breathe in sharply, standing in the doorway as I gaze up at their beauty.
In the middle of my room lies a picnic blanket covered with platters of little sandwiches, fruit and chocolates. A bottle of champagne stuck inside a bucket of ice is sitting in the middle, waiting to be popped open and celebrated.
“Brody, this is beautiful.” I whisper, not daring to blink incase I wake up from the dream I’m currently living. I turn to face him, expecting him to be studying the room.
Instead, he’s studying me.
The beautiful gold flecks in his eyes shine down on me brightly, his lips stretched out into a heart stopping smile. His dark hair flops over onto his forehead and I realise the words I’ve just spoken aren’t true. It’s not the room that’s beautiful . . .
It’s him.
He closes the door behind him and I feel a shiver of anticipation travel down my back from being alone with him. When he turns back to look at me, his eyes are intense. He takes hold of my hand once again, bringing it up. My heart lurches as he presses his lips against my skin, green eyes fluttering closed.
“Bella Winters, I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am. Ever since the crash, I’ve been drowning in self pity and darkness and because of that, I let go of the one thing that matters to me the most. You. I’ve been kicking myself every single damn day since I lost you Bella so please, give me another chance? Let me prove to you how much I love you.” He breathes out, leaning down to rest his forehead against mine. I don’t dare breathe as I stare up at him wide eyed, spinning further and further into the enchanting swirls of his eyes.
His eyes begin to grow desperate, flickering between both of mine as he waits for an answer. If only he knew I never once stopped loving him. . . Even when I wanted to hate him for hurting me.
So I breathe in deeply and tell him.
I tell him that despite everything, I never once hated him. Despite breaking my heart, I dreamt of his face every night. Despite being the cause of my tears, I ached for his touch every waking and sleeping moment.
Throughout it all, he listens patiently, his eyes glazing over with painful tears. When I tell him that I couldn’t imagine a future without him, a single tear slips from his eye and begins to travel down his cheek. I reach up, my hands shaking as I brush it away.
“I love you so much and I’m sorry.” He whispers, his arms enveloping around me. I don’t realise I’m crying until I feel the tears roll onto my lips. I shake my head because I can’t seem to pronounce any words. Brody reaches up with both hands, cupping my face. His warmth spreads through my cheeks and travels inside my body, healing the cracks he left behind.
When he drops his head and kisses me, I lose all sense of control. It’s everything I’ve dreamed of and more. I fall into him, my hands clinging to clutch onto the fabric of his clothing. I press him tightly against me, this time making sure he doesn’t go anywhere. His lips move against mine desperately, hungrily as we both savour each other once again.
It’s been so long since I’ve experienced the addictive touch of Brody Baxter.
When his strong arms wrap around my waist and his tongue explores my mouth, I remember what I wished for. . .
Happiness.