“B-Brody.” I stutter, my palms sweating by my side. The receptionist behind the desk looks up at me from behind her glasses, looking irritated.
“Full name please.”
“Brody B-Baxter. He’s eighteen.” I say, my breathing coming out in short erratic breaths. I look around at the nurses and doctors rushing through the hallways, unable to remember how I even made it to the hospital. No-one knows I’m here, not even Dad or Jedd.
“Please can you just tell me if he’s okay,” I plead with her, unable to maintain eye contact. Her stare makes me feel uneasy and I can feel another panic attack beginning to stir inside my chest. I’ve already suffered three in the space of two hours and I feel exhausted, drained. I want to close my eyes and sleep but I can’t, not until I know he’s safe.
“He’s in room thirty two. It’s family only.” She says firmly, narrowing her eyes at me. I open my mouth to protest but then nod my head, shuffling away.
“That’s fine, I’m his sister.” I lie, already searching the walls for a sign to room thirty two. I quickly scurry away, my trainers squeaking against the tiled floors. The smell of disinfectant is overpowering as I desperately search the corridors, staring up at multiple signs and numbers. I want to stop someone and ask for directions but every time I open my mouth, no words come out.
I finally make it to the correct ward and count up until I’m standing outside of room thirty two. I suck in a deep breath and push open the door, terrified of what I might see on the other side.
The first thing I notice is the smell.
The smell of disinfectant is stronger inside the room and I pull my sleeve over my nose to try and mask it. My eyes land on Brody lying in the hospital bed and I completely break down, heavy sobs filling my chest.
He’s lying perfectly still, multiple wires and drips hooked up to him. His beautiful face is swollen and covered with stitches and bruises. A hospital sheet is covering his body and the steady beeps of the machines surrounding him begin to grow louder inside my ears. I slowly take a step forward, my legs shaking unsteadily underneath me.
“Oh Brody, what happened?” I whisper, unable to tear my eyes off him. He remains perfectly still, his usual shining bright eyes now closed over, hiding their beauty from me. I take another step forward and another until I’m standing right beside him. My hand trembles and shakes as I reach for his, cupping his fingers tightly. As soon as I feel the warmth of his body spread through mine, I suck in a deep breath. My shoulders slump in relief as I realise, he’s still alive.
He may be cut and bruised but his heart is still beating and that’s enough for me. I clutch onto his hand desperately, reaching down to place a kiss on the back of it.
“What happened Brody? We were supposed to go travelling, remember?” I ask him, tears streaming down my face. I’m trying to look up at him but seeing his broken face is too much for me to handle. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, tears falling onto his bed sheet and staining it.
The door suddenly opens and I quickly drop his hand, jumping in surprise. A doctor stands in the doorway and when he notices me, he pauses.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise Brody had company.”
“I’m Bella. I’m his sister.” I lie, forcing myself to remain calm. My hands are still trembling and I can’t stop the flow of tears escaping my eyes. The doctor nods sympathetically. He walks over and hands me a packet of tissues and I thank him, wiping at my eyes.
“I’ve called your parents Bella. They’ll be here soon to be with you and Brody.”
I nod slowly, torn between whether I should tell him the truth or not. I glance back at Brody and shake my head, unable to risk being thrown out.
“What happened to him?” I ask the doctor, reaching out to hold his hand once again. The doctor is searching through his notes before clearing his throat and taking a seat opposite me.
“Brody was in a car crash. You’ll have to speak to the police to know exactly what happened.” I blink back shock and surprise.
“A car crash?”
The doctor nods slowly, sympathy flashing through his eyes.
“Is he going to be okay?” I ask quickly, knowing his parents would soon arrive and I’d possibly be thrown out of his room. The doctor looks down at his papers awkwardly before clearing his throat.
“Maybe we should wait for your parents.”
I shake my head in refusal, frowning hard at him.
“I’m eighteen, I’m an adult. You can tell me.” I lie again, my voice desperate. I take another look at Brody and a small sob escapes my lips. He looks so lifeless, the only indication of his beating heart being the machines beside him.
“You don’t look eighteen Bella. Quite frankly, you don’t look like you’re his sister either.”
My head snaps back towards him and I swallow the lump in my throat, my nerves increasing. My palms begin to sweat profusely and I know when I speak, I’ll begin to stutter. The doctor gives me another sympathetic smile, standing up before walking towards the door.
“It’s okay, I’m not going to ask you to leave. I’m not allowed to tell you the severity of Brody’s condition however. You’ll have to speak to his parents for that once they arrive.”
I nod slowly, my eyes dropping to the floor. I’m unable to maintain eye contact when I know I’ve lied to him. In my defence, it was for a good reason.
“Thank you,” I whisper, grateful to be able to stay with him a little longer. The doctor gives me a simple nod before disappearing back into the hallway, leaving Brody and I alone.
“Brody, please wake up,” I whisper, yearning to hear his voice and have him make me blush. I clutch onto his hand tightly, laying my head down next to his pillow. I can feel the tears drying on my face and I whimper, inhaling his scent deeply.
“I’ve only just found you and now I might be losing you. I love you Brody. How is this fair?” I wail, my voice cracking with pain. Moments pass and the only reply I get is the sound of the beeping of his machines. I squeeze his hand and my eyelids flutter closed despite me trying to force them to remain open.
For the first time in what feels like forever, I don’t fall asleep to the sound of Brody’s sleepy voice. I instead collapse from exhaustion with only steady beeps to keep me company.