In her inattention Willow accidentally rubbed the towel across her bandage. She hissed with pain. Dan returned from his bedroom. He felt a little better now that he had a layer of clothing between himself and Willow. He heard her make a painful noise and saw her tug the towel from the bandage on her shoulder. The adhesive had succumbed to the steam, water, and soap in the shower. He needed to change the dressing on her wounds. That was something he could do for her that was positive. Getting her dressed would also help settle his mind.
He stepped forward and carefully examined the wound under the flap of the loose gauze and tape bandage. He carefully removed the remaining tape and saw that she was already beginning to heal nicely. She’d have yet another set of scars to add to the host already found across her back, her arms, and some on her legs.
“Willow, please hang on a second. I’m going to put fresh bandages on your wounds” he said.
He left the room and returned with fresh gauze and tape. He quickly covered the two areas and then pointed to the clothes he’d set on the counter for her. “Please get dressed and meet me back in the kitchen when you’re ready.”
After stopping by to start the laundry Dan walked into the kitchen and put a notepad and pen on the kitchen table. Then he pulled out a couple of glasses, the tin of digestive biscuits, and the milk. He filled the two glasses and put some of the cookies on a plate. Once the snack was on the table and the milk was back in the fridge Willow hurried into the kitchen. He could see her nervousness was back. He growled at himself for being so stupid and hurting her in her state. She mistook his growling as displeasure in her and dropped to her knees at his feet.
“NO!” he barked then instantly cursed himself as she flinched in preparation for being struck.
“No, Willow please! I’m mad at myself not you. I wasn’t yelling at you. God, I’m royally fucking this up,” he sighed. He pulled her gently to her feet and moved her to sit at the kitchen table next to him. She kept her eyes on the table until she saw the milk and cookies. Her face froze as she seemed to be recalling something. Dan slid one of the glasses over to her and offered her the plate. She misunderstood and took the plate from his hand. Showing more patience than he’d had earlier he took the plate back and demonstrated being offered a plate of cookies and taking one from it. He tried again and this time Willow took only one. It was little things like the cookie plate and the number of healed scars she had which gave Dan the suspicion that she’d been relatively isolated, perhaps captive, for a good portion of her life. She did recognize cookies and milk so that might be something? Maybe?
He wanted to get her talking so he could find out some clues about her past. Maybe get back to her actual name. Maybe he should start by telling her something about himself. Tell her why he was such a hot mess that she’d be better off avoiding. Maybe if she saw that it would help her get on her own two feet. “Look, you saw me react badly this morning, I mean the flashback when I first got in the shower. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, and sometimes I get flashbacks. I haven’t had one in a few months so this one really took me by surprise. They can get bad. Sometimes violent. That’s why I live alone in this big house. I- I’m not good to be around,” he was frowning at the kitchen table as he said this. “I don’t trust what I’ll say or what I might do. What we did in the shower, I am so sorry I took advantage of you. You deserve better and-” Willow started to make sounds of protest but Dan raised his hand and she immediately stopped. He didn’t see her flinch but he went on. “If I can, I want to help you but I need to know more about you to do that. Maybe we could start from the guy you were with when I found you. What was his name?”
“Jackson,” she whispered, as if speaking his name might invoke his vengeful spirit.
“Was that his last name?”
She nodded.
“Do you know his first name? Do you recall hearing anyone say it?” he asked.
Willow thought for a minute and recalled how he’d cut a man’s gut open for teasing him about his name. What was it? Ah. “Percy.”
“Percy Jackson. Good!” Dan wrote down the current year then the name next to it. He was building a time line for Willow. “How long were you with Percy?”
Willow seemed to be having trouble with measuring time. She shook her head sadly. She seemed like she really wanted to help as when she couldn’t answer his questions she grew a little more anxious.
Dan thought for a moment. “Do you recall how many winters you spent with him?”
Her eyes lit up, as he’d found a way to ask the question in a way that she could relate to. “Three.”
Dan subtracted three from the current year and wrote that year down. “Very good!” he said and smiled at her. Her face lit up at his praise. While he loved to see her smile Dan began to feel a little uneasy about her reactions. “How did you meet Percy?”
“He killed my previous master and took me. I belonged to him.”
Dan looked up sharply, the dots finally connecting in his mind. “Oh god,” he whispered “and I killed Percy and took you.”
Willow’s face split into a beautiful smile that lit up the room. Dan finally understood that this was what she’d been waiting for him to declare! His ownership of her! She reached for his hands but stopped when she saw him draw back in shock. Confusion crossed her face then a deep sadness. “But you don’t want me.” She looked at the scars visible on her arms and a tear trickled down her cheek. “It’s OK. I’m hideous and worthless. I’m sorry.” She seemed to shrink in on herself.
Her despair snapped Dan from his shock. “Willow! Oh my god Willow, you are NOT hideous! How can you think you’re hideous? You are the most beautiful creature- WOMAN, woman I have ever seen. You take my breath away and I can’t think straight when I look at you! Worthless? I’m not worthy of YOU!” he almost shouted at her.
“But you don’t want me?” she whispered in a tiny girl voice her hands clenched in her lap, her eyes down, and tears trickling down her cheeks.
“Of course I WANT YOU! But- but you’re a beautiful woman not a… toy to be stolen, shared, or traded around. I didn’t win you from that asshole! I didn’t kill him so I could steal you for my own. I killed him because he was going to kill you and you deserve to live and he didn’t. Yes, I rescued you but not so you could belong to me but so you could have your own life and make those decisions for yourself.” Dan was shaking in reaction by this point. Recalling how he’d killed Percy had put him at risk for another attack. He could feel it coming on. He started to gasp and the room went sideways.
He was pinned down under the truck and he could smell the gas from the ruptured gas tank. Bullets thunked and pinged into the trucks body panels above his head. He knew he had to move but back was the only direction and something under the truck was snagging on his jacket. He had dust in his nostrils and could taste the grit… and feel softness pressing against his face. It smelled so good, like home.
As his surroundings came back into focus he realized he was under the kitchen table with Willow. He was in a fetal position with his head pillowed on her lap, her hands running gently through his hair.
Once the shaking in his muscles subsided he pulled himself slowly to a seated position on the kitchen floor. She slid out from under the table and knelt before him looking in his face with a strange mix of worry and desire.
“You see, I- I’m messed up pretty bad. I’m not worthy of you,” he rasped.
She grabbed his face and looked deeply into his eyes, the boldest gesture he’d seen her make so far. He felt himself getting lost in her emerald gaze.
“I decide? I choose to belong to you!” Willow said, eyes wide, fearing punishment for her actions, fearing further rejection, but desperately pushing through it.
Dan looked at her blankly as her words sank in. He was conflicted and emotions swept across his face.
He was amazed she wanted anything to do with him after she’d been exposed to his condition. That precious feeling was hope.
He was also so proud of her for being so direct and for her bravery.
Still, he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Choosing to belong TO someone? Belonging WITH someone he could understand. Maybe she just chose the wrong word but he didn’t think so. He really was out of his depths here.
Her agitation was growing. He could see panic seeping into her eyes. He wanted to help her. God he wanted that SO much! Allowing her to become completely submissive to him was wrong but she was having a mental break of her own. She needed him, someone, to take on that role for her. He was hardly in any condition to be nursing her mental state when his own was so broken. It seemed to be the lesser of the evils he faced.