Evelyn turned her face from him to stare out her window while her thoughts turned inwards.
She was trembling. Her emotions were flaring wildly, and she didn’t know what to do. She clasped her hands together to control their shaking.
Before, when the only exposure she had of Ben was her review of his submitted engineering solutions, she’d been in awe of the man’s brilliance and the unique way his mind worked.
Moving into the house he built for his adopted girls was eye-opening. He honestly cared for the two young women and had taken on the role of father and guardian for them when they needed it most. Her awareness of the man’s compassion grew significantly.
Having joined him on this trip, she’d been confused by his ability to have so many sexual partners, but he treated each of them with respect and love, and it was clear they loved him in return. She still found their relationships confusing but… it worked.
She hadn’t truly grasped his financial situation until this trip, but she could see money wasn’t important to him. How it was used, was.
Finally, he danced like a dream and his kiss! Just the memory sent tingles down her spine.
He matched her ideal of a mate.
Of course, she looked nothing like the women in his life. They were so lovely, and she was… not.
Worse, he’d be repulsed by how easily she killed. The two previous men she’d selected and approached to discuss beginning a relationship had clearly stated how easily she took a life made her unacceptable. She knew it was a double standard. Men were seen as more if they could do it, but women were seen as less. It was so unfair. It was just part of her job! A tremble ran through her body.
“Are you ok?” he asked her as she was frowning.
“Mmm hmmm.”
Ben looked closer. “You’re sure?”
“Yes. I think I’ll rest my eyes,” Evelyn said in a subdued voice and closed her eyes, so she didn’t have to see his concern. She didn’t want pity. Besides, what she’d said before was true. Becoming emotionally involved with the one she was protecting jeopardized the mission. She’d have to put those ideas and feelings away. She could be a professional.
Ben sat back and watched her for a moment, struggling to grasp the nature of exactly what was wrong. He knew something was, but he had such a difficult time reading her. The Captain said he might. He turned his eyes to the window again and let his mind relax as, without some additional pieces to this puzzle, he wasn’t going to be able to solve it. And sometimes you had to let the puzzles solve themselves.
They landed on time, and Ben got them a cab back to the hotel. They shared few words on that journey as the Sergeant seemed to be keeping herself occupied, watching for threats.
Ben sent a text to Tina letting her know they were on the ground and heading to the hotel. She texted back that they had dinner plans for 9 PM, so he had time to get cleaned up when he got back. He was eager to return to his friends as he needed to speak with Catherine about the plan he was formulating.
When the taxi arrived at the front of the hotel, Ben paid then frowned when he saw a group of paparazzo crowding the sidewalk just outside his door, waiting. Before he could open his door, the Sergeant was out her side, slamming the door closed. She rushed around the back of the taxi, charging at the men blocking the sidewalk with her hand resting on her holster. Ben watched in surprise as they jumped back to avoid her. She opened his door, and he stepped out. Glancing at her fierce expression, he understood their apprehension. He ignored the paparazzo and walked into the hotel with the Sergeant following.
“Are you ok, Evelyn?” he gently asked once they reached the lobby.
She glanced at him in surprise. “Yes- I’m fine.”
“You just seemed a little angry back there,” he continued.
She gave her head a brief shake. “Sorry. I- they’re so disrespectful.”
Ben nodded but gave her a small smile. “Agreed, but that’s their job. Thank you for getting me through them. Please don’t give them a reason to press charges against you.” He held her eye, and she nodded as a small smile slipped onto her lips as well.
They went up to their floor and walked down the hall to their rooms in quiet. He was sure there was still something on the Sergeant’s mind, but he wasn’t going to pry. She’d speak if she felt she could.
Their doors were opposite of each other, so they used their keys to open the doors.
“See you at dinner,” Ben said and she nodded as she ducked inside. He caught a glimpse of Trish at the far side of the room then the door closed.
Maybe Trish could get to the root of the Sergeant’s concerns.
-=-
Evelyn closed the door and leaned her forehead against it as she took some deep breaths.
“The big guy’s getting to you?” Trish said gently.
Evelyn squeaked in surprise as she spun to face the redhead sitting in a chair next to the windows.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to spook you,” Trish apologized.
Heart beating rapidly, the Sergeant raised a hand to indicate it was ok. She looked across at the woman and gave her an evaluating look. Of all of the ladies she’d seen Ben with, Trish was the most like her. She had hard muscles from being diligent with her exercise, and she had a nose-with-character as Uncle Davis called hers. She was certainly no model and preferred physical hobbies involving fitness. Evelyn slowly walked across the room and took the chair across from the redhead and struggled with what she… should say.
Trish smiled. “So he is getting to you.” Seeing the woman’s hesitance, she smiled softly. “Whatever you say to me will remain confidential. Just between us.”
Evelyn eyed her cautiously then nodded. “It’s true, but I can’t get emotionally involved. It jeopardizes our working relationship. I’m his admin assistant and more importantly, his security detail. Emotional involvement is out of the question.”
Trish nodded and looked away for a moment as memories crowded in her mind. A smile slipped across her lips. She tucked it away as it might appear inappropriate with what she was about to say.
“When my husband died with the others from our neighborhood, Ben worked with those of us left behind and showed us how we could and should rely on each other to get past the grief and anger. I thought he was a great guy and I was attracted to him as well, but I was hurting pretty bad from the emotional baggage my husband’s cheating left me. I wanted nothing to do with love or any emotional involvement, just pure physical gratification. I had a very physical relationship with my husband, and with that gone I turned to Ben. He wasn’t comfortable with a casual fuck, but he knew I needed that kind of connection and kept his emotions to himself.” She looked over to the Sergeant and saw wide eyes looking back at her. She chuckled. “Sorry for the overshare. My rambling point is this. I thought I could maintain my emotional distance from Ben, to protect myself. But the more I was around him, the less possible that became. He’s a sweet man, very physical too, and completely giving of himself. If you have any emotional capacity in you at all, eventually you’ll become attached.”
Trish saw the Sergeant was thinking about this and looked upset. “Will that interfere with your admin assistant position, I highly doubt it. Your security detail duties? Are you telling me you wouldn’t be able to resist his advances during the times you need to focus on his safety? If so, that would be an indicator you aren’t very good at your job.” She watched the Sergeant bristle at the comment and smiled.
“I’m not saying Ben is willing and eager to let another woman into his heart. He has quite a number already sharing his time, and I’ve seen him struggle to accept that fact. He still has trouble from time to time accepting that he’s worthy of our love.” Evelyn glanced at her sharply, and Trish nodded sadly. “He’s dealing with a lot of emotional damage from his childhood.” She was silent for a moment as she collected her thoughts.
Evelyn waited patiently until Trish finally spoke again. “I will say this. Ben doesn’t need drama in his love life. If you choose to stand by him and you find yourself falling in love, accept the fact that you may need to keep it to yourself. If he shows no signs of reciprocating, you’d only be doing him harm by mooning over him.”
The Sergeant sighed. “I don’t think it’ll be an issue. Ben wouldn’t see someone like me as someone he could love. I can accept that fact right now.”
Trish leaned back and looked curiously at the woman. “What makes you think that?”
Evelyn shrugged. “Ms. Lee and Ms. Bennett, they’re both young and beautiful. The McKellan twins are young and beautiful. Mrs. Wallace, Mrs. McGovern, and yourself, you’re all lovely, and I’ve seen his love for you.”
Trish snorted in amusement. “I don’t kid myself that my looks match up to any of the others, but Ben loves me deeply. Don’t assume Ben’s eye is captured by beauty alone.”
Evelyn’s eyes dipped down briefly to Trish’s tits, and the redhead’s grin grew wider. “Yeah, he likes my girls, but it’s not just a physical attraction for Ben. He fucking likes me. We click, madly!”
The Sergeant’s eyes dropped to her hands resting on her lap, and she considered them. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, and she didn’t look up. “I asked Ben how he managed so many relationships when I haven’t been able to start one! Previously, there’s only been two men I found to be acceptable as a potential mate. When I approached them to discuss beginning a relationship, each one expressed extreme distaste at the idea. One was very vulgar in his responses. Both indicated I made them deeply uncomfortable with how easily I killed my targets.” She frowned angrily. “But that’s not fair. It’s my job! It’s not like I get a thrill from killing. It’s just something I was trained to do, and I want to be the best I can be. Besides, this isn’t something you can take lightly. Otherwise, you’re the one who ends up dead.”
Trish nodded. “Go all in or go home.”
The Sergeant’s eyes lifted to lock on Trish’s with a slow nod.
“You think Ben might share their opinion?” Trish asked softly, and the woman nodded. “I’ve killed, in self-defense. Cat has as well. Do you see Ben treating us any differently?” Trish asked with a raised eyebrow.