The next day I came to work as a completely different person from the day before. At home I thought a lot about my ‘relationship’ with Edward, if it could be called that. I weighed all the pros and cons. I argued and argued with myself.
The brain woke up in me and asked: “why do you allow such an attitude towards yourself?” Yes, I wanted to be Edward’s lover, I really wanted to, but if he loved his bitch wife so much even after she betrayed him, did it make any sense to continue this interaction with him? Would this make me happier? What would I gain from this?
I had to admit that my alter ego was right. In fact, the world around me would not cease to exist if I said ‘no’ to Edward and let him leave my life. Of course, it would hurt, being without him. I might not even want to live. I didn’t know how I would perceive Edward’s absence in my life. But there was no other way to survive, only through pain…
Everything said, I finally decided. Fuck it!!!
With such fighting spirit, I sat at my workplace, diligently avoiding the gaze of Edward, who was, I’m sure, quite surprised. I didn’t even say hello to him, showing with all my looks that he was an empty place to me.
For dinner he couldn’t bear it and approached me.
“Elvira… Has something happened?” He asked me, puzzled, trying to get my attention.
“No.” I replied coldly, not even bothering to lift my head.
“Look at me.”
His voice sounded commanding. But I decided not to give in. Me too, boss…
“I said: LOOK AT ME!”
“So be it.” I thought in disgust and looked at Edward. And then all my determination faded…
Edward knew how to influence me. He looked divine at the time. His dark blue shirt, the unbuttoned collar that barely exposed his manly chest, that deep, heavy gaze that made my knees buckle…
“Let me guess. You are jealous?” he suggested.
I was silent. His conjecture left me speechless.
“Elvira. You have to understand a point. I told you that I will love her, no matter what happens. We have been together for a long time and we have experienced a lot, we went through a lot. She is a close and dear person to me. Yes, she betrayed me, but in time, I think I can understand and forgive. Yes, I’m an idiot.” He smiled kindly. But obviously not for me, but thinking about Sofia. “I thought you could support me. You can help me to be a full-fledged man and deal with my pain. But your jealousy will only spoil everything. It is so insignificant… For the last time I ask: yes or no?”
Knowing perfectly well what Edward meant, I didn’t say anything. I didn’t have the strength to say anything. He was just waiting for what would happen next. I prepared myself so that he could leave now…
“Good.” He said coldly. “Well, I’m not surprised. So from now on, I don’t pay attention to you anymore.”
And he turned his back on me, intending to leave my office. It was this gesture that awakened something in me. His back showed me my utter unwillingness to leave and my helplessness.
“Stop!” Sound burst from my lips. “Sorry… I won’t do this again. Let’s continue?”
Edward chuckled.
“A naive girl. We never stopped anything. Prepare to be below me at my meeting today.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. It’s a strange thing, we almost stopped communicating, but now we talk as if nothing had happened…
“Under the table. There will be important people. You will suck.” He explained and left, leaving me in deep shock. “Are you asking me to give you a blowjob under your desk? With a crowd of people? Are you crazy?!” I thought.
Of course, he remembered well the terms of our relationship. Sex without limits, yes. But, apparently, I was not really prepared for such perversions… And how could I accept this? How could I force myself to have so much courage?
I was mad at myself. A weak-willed fool! Why the hell was I submitting to him again?
I didn’t know what prompted me to apologize. After all, I was not guilty of anything. But his eyes reminded me that I was crazy about him. And if I rejected him, I wouldn’t be able to live with it later. This is the only thing I knew for sure…
After a while, Edward called me. He said that I had to go under his desk and be there all the time while the meeting was going on. I obeyed… as always!