“Rain, I’d like to apologize for our behavior towards you. We were terribly rude in how we treated you and made some terrible assumptions. Please accept our apology,” La’Shia said with sincerity.
The woman in question was surprised by the kind expressions she was receiving and gave them a tremulous smile and nod as tears welled up in her eyes.
“Please, no tears. Ben can’t deal with a woman’s tears.” Rochelle said gently.
Rain chuckled and dabbed her eyes with her napkin. She looked over at Ben and mouthed ‘thank you’ to him. He just shook his head with a smile to indicate thanks weren’t needed.
“Anything exciting on the agenda today?” Ben asked, hoping to change the subject.
“We’re just going to hang out on the beach. Tomorrow we’ve booked a catamaran for a cruise in the morning with lunch and drinks at a secluded beach, snorkeling, and returning before the afternoon rains. You’re all welcome to join us. We have the ship all to ourselves.”
Ben looked to Trish and Rain and they nodded happily. “We’d be delighted to join you.”
They enjoyed each other’s company and there was a fair amount of laughter at the table. Ben noticed the mood of the group was definitely more upbeat and relaxed. The tension Night added to the mix was gone. His own spirits were lifted by the happiness around him and he suddenly realized the tension he’d been carrying around recently was gone as well. He looked at Rain and caught her eye. When she smiled at him he mouthed ‘thank you’. Her smile widened and she nodded to him.
When breakfast broke up they all agreed to meet on the beach in twenty minutes.
Ben, Trish, and Rain went back up to the room to brush their teeth and get their towels for the beach and lotion. He handed Trish the letter when they got inside the room and she read it while he and Rain brushed their teeth.
“I’m going to miss that lady! She was so fun!” Trish said but Ben saw her eyes were a little glassy. He gave her a hug then she took her turn in the bathroom.
Rain put on her green bikini as she wanted to save her new one for the catamaran trip the following day.
“Ben, you’re feeling better today I see,” Rain said.
“Yes, thanks. I feel so much better,” he smiled.
“When you’re ready you should share what you told me with Trish.” At Ben’s nervous look she held up her hands. “As I said, when you’re ready. You made incredible progress yesterday. The next step is to share it with someone important to you, someone you love. I’m sure you’ll find the release much more profound. Again, it’s only the first time that’s difficult.”
They heard the door opening and moved to get their towels.
Trish came out wearing a silver bikini and a gauzy black wrap around her waist.
Ben’s eyes were drawn to her and she gave him a happy little smile of satisfaction. “Shall we go?”
The beach was getting full sun this morning as the clouds were all on the horizon. It looked like they were going to have a great day for playing on the beach.
They found spots near Killah and the others and laid out their towels. Then began the ritual of slathering on the lotion. Rain and Trish pulled Ben’s shirt off and they both worked on him first. It became obvious he was first because he had to apply their lotion next. Both moaned in bliss as he massaged their backs as he worked the lotion into their skin.
One of La’Shia’s single friends wandered over to ask if Ben could do her back next. He looked at her in surprise then nodded. Soon Ben found himself working his way down a line of women. Even La’Shia got in line.
“Oh my god Ben you have such strong hands!” she cooed as he worked the tension out of her shoulders.
Finally Ben got to walk back to his towel. Trish flipped over onto her back.
“Ben, could you do my front now?” she said with an impish smile.
He stared at her in dismay. Killah walked by and made a whip sound with his mouth then grinned. Ben snorted.
“No, I’m going to lie down and relax. I think you can do the rest,” Ben replied as he sat on his towel. He laid back and was soon slipping into a doze. The heat of the sun, the waves against the beach, and the quiet murmur of voices soothed his mind and he fell asleep.
“Ben? Ben, you’re talking in your sleep.”
His eyes popped open and his mind struggled to return to the present from that cold, snowy night so long ago. He looked over and saw Trish was touching his shoulder. She’d nudged him awake. Rain was sitting up next to her looking at him with her compassionate eyes.
“It’s still leaking out,” he said and Rain nodded. He felt a little better that she knew it would.
“What is, Ben?” Rochelle said from behind him.
He looked back and saw her standing next to Thomas. Ben turned his head to Rain and she nodded to him. He took a deep breath looking down for a second then pushed himself to his feet.
“Thomas, may I borrow Rochelle for a bit?” he asked. The man looked at him in surprise then nodded.
Ben held his hand out to Trish. “Could you come with me and Rochelle for a little walk?” She nodded and he helped her up.
They walked down to the water then turned to walk along the edge. Rochelle and Trish waited for Ben to begin.
He smiled at them then collected himself. “Some memories I suppressed have been working themselves loose for some time. Ever since… ever since I… rescued Miriam I suppose. With the events in France, it escalated and I’ve been pretty miserable to be around sometimes. I apologize for that.”
Trish touched his arm and Rochelle just nodded to him.
“Yesterday… I- I had a little break- I mean, they broke through. I was talking with Rain. She’s been through the Foster Care program like me and we had some common ground…” Ben looked down at the water lapping at the beach. He took another deep breath.
He began slowly forcing the words out like pulling quills buried deep in his skin.
He told them about the abusive house father, his desire to be a hero, how it had gone so terrifyingly wrong. How his selfish actions had a terrible cost. He kept nothing back from them and his chest hurt as he confessed his sins to the women he loved.
Ben’s muscles were shaking in reaction as he looked Trish in the eye. “I killed the boys and Mr. Leparre.”
Trish shook her head with tears in her eyes. She pulled Ben into a tight hug. “No Ben, you didn’t,” she growled as she rubbed her face against his shoulder.
Rochelle placed her hand on his arm and looked up into his eyes. “Ben, you saved those girls. If you opened the door they would have died too. So would you! You’ve been carrying this guilt around with you for so long but you have nothing to feel guilty for!”
Trish was really crying hard now. The idea that Ben had been punishing himself for this since he was just a kid rocked her. She clung to him and he wrapped her in his arms.
Ben felt the tension leaving his body as Trish held him tight and Rochelle rubbed his back as she watched him with her sympathetic eyes.
Finally Trish got control of her emotions and her sobs eased. Ben had silent tears of his own but they were of relief. She pulled back to look up at him.
“Ben, you are not to blame for their deaths. You did not kill them. They died because of a house fire and your actions were necessary to save the others. Do you understand?”
He saw the fierceness in her eyes and her conviction was absolute. He took strength from that and nodded.
Rochelle leaned closer. “The girls that night were without a doubt terrified and wouldn’t have understood their danger. The fact that you held the door even when they attacked you means they lived. That’s all that matters. They lived as did you.”
Ben let that thought sink in. More than anything it was the girl’s screams at him, the look of horror and revulsion in their eyes, and their attack which had been burned into his mind so many years ago. It was the foundation of the pain he felt from that night. Rochelle’s words brought a new perspective for him. He felt the pain weaken and he nodded to Rochelle who touched her palm to his cheek. He leaned into her touch.
“Thank you,” he said softly.
With a small smile Rochelle turned and walked back to Thomas and the group.
Ben looked out over the ocean then closed his eyes to look inwards. Rain had been right. His relief this time was much more profound than the day before. He’d shared his guilt with those he loved and they still loved him and more, believed that guilt was undeserved. He felt… lighter. He smiled and tenderly kissed Trish.
“Mmmmm!” she purred when Ben pulled back. “Fuck! You kiss good!” she said with a grin.
“That’s because you’re so kissable!” Ben smiled.
Her expression turned serious. “You know I love you, right? More than ever!”
He smiled and pulled her against his body and heard her sigh. Soon though she began to rub herself against him. She pushed back to look up at him.
“Waiting until tonight is going to be tough!” Trish pouted.
Ben raised an eyebrow. “It will be all the better for the wait,” he insisted.
“Fine!” she huffed then put her arm around him as they turned to walk back to the others.
They reached the shore in front of the group and Rain was standing there watching the waves. Ben scooped her up against his chest and gave her a full body hug as she squealed. When he set her down Trish hugged her tight as well.
“Trish! You’re suffocating me with your boobs!” Rain gasped.
Ben and Trish laughed as the woman staggered back.
“I want to thank you for helping me with this. You’ve been amazing! I feel so much better!” Ben said.
She looked up at him with a smile that made her eyes sparkle. This was what she’d trained for. This is what she wanted to be doing with her life. “You are most welcome!”
They made their way up to the towels and were greeted with smiles. La’Shia was holding up a bottle of lotion and resting back on her elbows. Trish laughed and gave Ben a push in the woman’s direction.
Once Ben was done massaging the lotion into the silky soft skin of La’Shia and six of her friends he returned to see Trish and Rain looking expectantly at him. Trish’s grin was especially wide when she saw the effect touching all that hot skin had had on him. His shorts were tenting and he had a hunger in his eyes as he looked at them.
Trish was first and by the time he was done she was squirming with need for release.
Rain was watching and struggling to keep her hands from slipping between her legs. Ben laid her back and applied her lotion with firm strokes and his hands felt so strong on her body. He worked his way down her body and she was left panting when he was done.