17

Seventeen
I couldn’t get my mind off it. The kiss. His scent. His hands holding me so tightly that I felt branded by his touch. How we had fit perfectly together. I took in a shaky breath. My hands were still vibrating and I couldn’t stop it. Why had I allowed him to kiss me like that? Why? Now I couldn’t get him off my mind.
And I was stuck in my room, alone. God this was so frustrating!
Shortly after Rafe had ordered me to leave his room, Aramatha had knocked on my door and announced to me that as punishment of breaking the portrait, I was grounded in my room for four days, during which I would not be allowed to join the programs, see or talk to the other ladies, go close to the alpha. The only people I was allowed to see were my maids, and it had to be briefly.
I sighed, getting up from my bed and walking towards the balcony that adjourned my room. My room was facing the backyard of the castle so there was nothing for me to see here. Except for the cool fresh air. It was dark outside. Too dark.
I stayed there for a moment before turning and returning back to the safety of my warm room. I couldn’t deny that I felt so lonely. The walls of my room seemed to be closing in on me, suffocating me with their bare, white emptiness. I could hear the muffled sound of music and laughter from downstairs, where the other girls were partying. It was a mocking reminder of my isolation. My eyes stung with unshed tears as I recalled Kelly’s smug face when she put the blame on me. The portrait had been an accident, but that didn’t matter now. I was stuck here for four long, lonely days.
As I moved closer to the door, I could hear the clink of glasses, the squeals of laughter, and the beat of the music. A pang of envy pierced my heart. I wanted nothing more than to be down there, dancing and laughing with the rest of them. But no, I was stuck up here, confined to my cell, while they were having the time of their lives. A tear slid down my cheek, leaving a salty trail behind. I brushed it away bitterly.
I longed to be among them, to feel the cool night air on my skin, to let the music sweep me away. Instead, I was trapped in this room, my life put on hold while everyone else carried on without me. Even my maids had forgotten me here.
I slammed the door shut with a bang, the sound echoing in the empty room. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was sick of being alone, sick of feeling like an outsider. I needed to be part of something bigger, something greater than myself. I couldn’t just allow Kelly overrule my life for me. I had to find a way to be freed from her.
“What can I do mom?” I whispered in a shaky breath.
A knock on the door startled me from my thoughts. I hesitantly got up and approached the door, unsure of who it could be. It was against the rules for anyone to visit me while I was grounded. I peeked through the keyhole, just in case it was Kelly coming to rub salt into my wounds. But when I saw Connor’s familiar face, I breathed a sigh of relief.
I opened the door cautiously, not wanting to draw attention to our meeting. Connor stepped inside, his eyes filled with concern. He closed the door behind him, and before I could stop myself, I embraced him in a tight hug, allowing the tears to fall freely once more. He was the one person I felt safe enough with.
After a moment, we pulled away from each other, and Connor gestured towards the window. “I heard what happened,” he said softly. “Are you okay?”
I shook my head, my voice catching in my throat. “No,” I whispered. “I’m not okay. I feel like I’m stuck in this room forever, while everyone else is downstairs, having the time of their lives. My step sister won’t stop till she has been thrown out of the palace for good, Connor”
Connor frowned, his brow furrowing in concern. “I’m sorry, Freya,” he said. “I wish there was something I could do to help.”
I managed a weak smile, grateful for his presence. “It’s not your fault,” I replied. “It’s just… I didn’t think things could get any worse after the fight with Kelly. But now this…” My voice trailed off, and I shook my head again, unable to find the right words to express how much this punishment hurt me.
Connor gave me a sympathetic look, his eyes full of understanding. “I know it’s tough,” he said. “But you’ll get through this. You’re stronger than you think. You should even be happy he didn’t allow them take you to dungeons. That is the worst place anyone can be. So try to be happy okay?” He softly stroked my hair behind my ear.
I nodded, taking comfort in his words. “Thanks, Connor,” I said. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”
He smiled, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Well, you wouldn’t have anyone to talk to, for starters,” he joked.
I laughed, despite my miserable situation. “True,” I said. “You’re the only one willing to risk getting caught to come and see me.”
Connor shrugged. “What can I say?” he said. “I’m a sucker for a pretty face.”
“Oh please!” I rolled my eyes at his cheesy words even though I could feel my cheeks heating at his compliment.
“So,” Connor began, his voice low and serious. “What really happened between you and the alpha? I mean, I know you broke his mother’s portrait, but what made him decide to ground you? And for four whole days?”
I sighed, my shoulders slumping as I thought back to the events that had led me to this point. “I don’t know for sure.. but I think I did something shouldn’t have,” I said, my voice trembling slightly.
Connor nodded, his expression somber. “You can tell me, Freya,” he said. “I’m here for you, no matter what.”
I appreciated his support, even though I knew that what I was about to confess would likely shock him. “Well,” I began, my voice barely above a whisper. “I spoke back at Rafe and then… we kind of kissed…”
Connor’s eyes widened in surprise, and he let out a sharp intake of breath. “You what?” he exclaimed, his voice rising in disbelief. “Freya, are you sure that’s what happened? Because that’s a pretty big deal.”
I nodded, my cheeks flushing with embarrassment. “I know,” I said. “And I’m so ashamed of myself. I never meant for things to go that far. It just… happened.”
“And… was that the only thing that happened?” He asked carefully.
“Yes. I… I think I somehow got him upset because he asked me to leave his room and next thing I knew, Aramatha was in my room.”
“But Freya…. What do you feel for Rafe?”
I shook my head, my eyes filling with tears. “I don’t know,” I said. “I can’t explain it. It’s like there’s this magnetic pull between us, hard to resist. He infuriates me, even scares me, but I can’t help the insane attraction I feel for him.”
Connor looked at me with a mixture of pity and concern. “Freya,” he said gently. “You have to be careful. I love Rafe like a brother, but I don’t want you getting hurt because of him. He is the alpha. He hardly cares about women. This whole charade, It is because his parents made him vow to do it, that’s the only reason why he is doing it. Try not to fall in love with him okay?”
“Why do you say that?” I questioned, my eyebrows raised in confusion.
“Well for one, how will you handle seeing him being with the other ladies? For example, he has announced that he will be spending the night with Jessica Gabriel.”
I froze in shock. I couldn’t help the sinking feeling in my stomach as I heard what Connor just said. “Oh..” I managed, looking away.
Connor’s expression softened, and he reached out a hand, brushing away my hair. “I’m sorry,” he said. “You just needed to know so you won’t get your hopes too high.”
I nodded, my lip quivering. “I know,” I said. “I never did stood a chance. I’ll be fine I promise..”
We sat there for a while, the silence weighing heavily between us. I tried to hold back my tears, but they refused to be contained. They flowed freely down my cheeks.
I didn’t know if I was crying because of my punishment or because I knew Rafe was with someone else.
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