46

A few months later
My mood swings and emotional imbalances has been getting worse over the months that followed immediately after Nathan’s birth. I would cry for no reason, be unnecessarily happy and suddenly turn relatively aggressive, throwing tantrums for no reason. I was grateful to Justin for being understanding.
” You don’t need to worry about it, you’ll be fine,” he squeezed my hands tight as we walked into the hospital. I was concerned about my recent mood swings and decided with Justin that maybe we really needed to see a doctor so we were here today for the results.
He had told me earlier to push away all negative thoughts, claiming it was just ‘baby blues’ but I wasn’t so sure it was. Five months had passed since Nathan’s birth and I’m not sure baby blues were supposed to last this long.
Waiting in the lobby of the hospital, I tapped my fingers aimlessly as my heart rate increased rapidly. I had a bad feeling about this.
” Sir, ma’am, you can see Doctor Luke now,” the young nurse beamed at us. Taking a deep breath, I and Justin walked in.
” It’s nice to meet you, Doctor Luke,” Justin shook hands with Doctor Luke.
” How are you feeling today, Mrs. Noble?” The doctor addresses me.
” The same way I’ve always been. Mood swings, irritability, aggression and we’ll, I’ve been generally annoying to everyone around,” I sighed. Justin squeezed my hands in his under the desk, reassuringly.
” And she forgets the littlest things which is unlike her,” Justin added. I really couldn’t deny how much my memory had depreciated over time, I forget the basic things.
” Well, we have your report so let’s see what exactly is the problem,” the doctor said taking out a file, opening up, he looks at the results carefully.
” Is there a problem, doc?” I knew that Justin had begun to worry. The intense gaze of the doctor at the result sheets was definitely not something you would look forward to hear.
” Well, I cannot fully say and whatever I do say, we can find ways to resolve and treat her,” he warned before hand.
” Now, you’re making me scared,” I muttered in sweaty palms and thighs. I inhaled, preparing myself for the worst.
” After multiple tests and scans, a tumor was found in your wife’s brain,” this shocking revelation felt like being stabbed by a broken glass. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to comprehend the situation around me.
” Doc, are you sure of what you saw? Maybe you need to re-scan,” Justin was as shocked as I was and probably panicked more because of how I was taking it.
” As much as I wished it wasn’t true, it is. We always run repeated test because a tumor isn’t something to take lightly,” he tried to calm us down.
” So what should we do? I don’t care how much this hospital needs to cure my wife, just do it,” he was desperate to save me. The thought of not being able to spend enough time with my kids made my tears to flow even more. Shaking my head, I refused to let negative thoughts in. I would go through any treatment to be with my husband and my kids.
” Well, we’ll have to run another test to confirm if the tumor is benign or cancerous. If it’s benign, the risk involved won’t be much though it involves the brain so of course, it wouldn’t be exactly an easy process. But the bigger problem is if the tumor is cancerous, then we’ll have to act fast,” the doctor analyzed.
” We’ll go through all the processes possible,” Justin said in desperation.
After a few hours at the hospital, we were in the car driving back home in silence. I cried silently as Justin drove with a heavy heart. It was like talking about it would make it worse and I was grateful that he understood how I was currently feeling. It was a silence heavy with sadness a sadness and fear we rather not speak about.
” Mommy!!” Amelia was the first to welcome me when we opened the front door, with Aiden following behind. Their nanny also came to the door with a sleeping Nathan on her shoulder.
” Did you do anything interesting while we were gone?” I had cleaned the tears in my eyes before walking into the house. The last thing I wanted was for the to worry about me.
” Yes, we colored and Aiden read me some really scary stories,” Amelia hid behind my legs, frequently peeping at Aiden.
” Pfft! Are those what you call scary?” He shoved all allegations away. ” They wouldn’t even be able to scare Nathan,” he just had to compare.
” Aiden, you shouldn’t be scaring your little sister like that,” Justin corrected. Amelia stuck out her tongue at Aiden, annoying him.
” I know, dad. I’m glad I have a brother now, soon enough I wouldn’t need to play doll with Amelia,” Aiden knew exactly what to do to get back at her.
” And you rarely ever play dolls with me,” she accused him.
” Barely doesn’t mean never,” he retorted. ” You practically glue me to your tea party,” he complained further.
” Who doesn’t like an exquisite tea party?” Amelia folded her arms, pouting as she mumbled.
” Well, me,” he gestured with his arms apart. ” And like you know the meaning of the word ‘ exquisite’, ” he mocked.
” Daddy!!!” Amelia yelled for help from her dad.
” It’s okay, there’s no need to argue,” I had to put an end to their petty but blissful arguments. ” Aiden is undeniably the best brother,” I praised.
” I appreciate the compliment,” he had a confident smug on his face as he ran his hand through his hair. He looked exactly like his dad, who taught him how to do that by the way?
” And who doesn’t love tea parties, honey?” I rubbed Amelia’s nose with my index finger.
” Everyone,” she replied confidently in full assurance.
” Lunch is ready, ma’am,” a maid announced.
” Come on now, hurry over to the dining table,” I urged them. Thy quickly ran to the table competing with each other on their way. Watching them grow was definitely something worth following.
” He’s asleep right?” I asked their nanny as I took Nathan from her. I and Justin headed upstairs with Nathan, deep down we knew we had to discuss.
After putting Nathan in his crib, we made our way to our own room. With the door now shut and the kids downstairs, I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. My legs went weak and I fell on the floor breaking down in hot tears, why was this happening to me?
” Honey,” he knelt besides me, pulling me into his arms as I cried profusely. I had been trying to stay strong but it was harder than I thought even if it turned out to be a benign tumor.
” I want to stay longer with the kids,” I squeezed him tighter, revealing my deepest emotions and inner thoughts.
” Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise,” he planted a kiss on my forehead. ” The risk involved with a benign tumor is not much, so you’ll definitely be better. Everything is going to be alright,” he cooed, patting my back comfortingly.
The best thing one could ask for was a partner who understood you at every moment and who was willing to do everything within his power to see the one he loves is safe, happy and in his arms where she should always be.