For a few minutes, Mneso and I stared at each other with heavy mouths. It was all too good to be true. The feelings were overwhelming. I didn’t know whether to hug her or stop her.
I couldn’t differentiate my rights from my wrongs there. My sister and my mother were Back in my life after so long. I yawned for the affectionate touch of Mneso. Her little hands on my mind just like were kids, My mother’s soothing words and her tender kisses on my Forehead I yearned for.
I never would have imagined a day like that was coming. A day when I would be able to look my sister again in the eye. I never believed it.
I was getting excited and impatient to run home and tell my mother I was her Christen. I was her lost child when I remembered the state of her health.
The excitement I felt instantly vanished into thin air. I was the reason for her condition. If I hadn’t left home that morning then maybe she wouldn’t have been in that situation.
Over the weeks, I got so used to blaming myself for everything that happened around Me and it just added up. My reasons for blaming myself were valid.
I shook my head in denial. I stood up and ran out of the restaurant with tears rolling down my cheeks. Mneso ran after me.
“Stop.”
“Stop it, Christen, “She said, running after me out of the restaurant.
I didn’t listen to her, I kept on walking with an unceasingly increasing speech so as not to catch up with me.
“Do you want to leave us again?
Her words pierced through my skin like shattered glass.
I stopped. My back turned to her as I listened to her speak.
“If you are Christen then why did you leave ?”
“Why do you want to leave now too? ”
“Why did you make us worry for years only to show up and now decide to leave again? ”
“Why?”
Her questions were my fears. I didn’t have an answer to them and I was too scared to speak, I didn’t dare to look her in the eye.
Over the years, Mneso and my mother lived all their lives striving and Praying for me to come back. My disappearance broke her and she as a result of that lost her mental balance and here I was.
“You are selfish.”
“You only thought about yourself.”
“You only ever think about yourself, Christen.”
“What do you want me to do ?”
“Come back to you both?”
“Huh? ”
“What is going to change? “I snapped and turned to her.
We were both hurting. We both wanted to speak our minds and released the burden in our chest even if I meant hurting each other with our words.
“What isn’t ?”
“You have no idea how hard it was for me to handle everything all alone.”
“You have no idea what I did to keep Mom in check.”
“I begged and prayed for you to come back to me and make everything right. ”
“I didn’t know which was right .”
“Thinking you were dead or alive. ”
“Now you are back and you just want to shy away from everything just like you did all those years ago? ”
“Why did you even show your face? ”
“I wish I never met you .”
“I wish we never came in contact then maybe the hurt I Tried too hard to Bury wouldn’t have been dug out again. ”
Mneso spoke with a shaky voice. Her tears ran down her cheeks nonstop. Her hands were nervously fidgeting.
I had so much to say. I had so many explanations but little of what I thought came out of my mouth rather they all rolled down my cheeks.
I never imagined my reunion with my sister was going to be something like this. I always pictured it as beautiful but my imagination remained nothing but mere imagination.
“You don’t understand ”
“I… I…. ” I searched for words but none came. I tried to find the perfect explanation but nothing sounded right. Numb and dumb I stood listening to all her accusations. I understood her. I understood the pain behind her anger. I understood everything but I also wished she understood me.
“Make me understand. ”
“Say something to make me understand. ”
My lips quivered.
“I’m sorry..”
I turned away from her and jogged out, wiping off my tears with my sleeves.
“Go, fucking go .”
That’s what you know how to do best.
“Shy away from your problems”
“Shy away from me and Mom.”
“I don’t want to ever see you again.”
“Stay the fuck away from me.”
Mneso screamed angrily at me as I walked away from her.
I took a few steps toward the sidewalk. I jumped into a taxi and we left. My heartache and my eyes become heavy with tears. My mind was clouded and my emotions clashed.
I laid back on the chair and shut my eyes tightly allowing the depressed music playing on the radio to sink into my mind.
My phone beeped. I picked it out of my bag and saw a message from one of the many complaints I had applied for a job in.
I was asked to come in the next day with my documents for physical screening as early as 7
Fate was toying with me. On the one hand, I was facing the Hardest phase of my life and I just found out about my family on the other hand, on the same day, I found out there was a possibility of me getting a high-paying job as a personal assistant in a leather producing firm.
What was my life turning into? I wondered.
The last four years have been hell for Me. Mental, emotional, and physical.
It got worse at a point in time when I started to think I was jinxed. One moment something beautiful was happening and the next, a whole Situation that questioned my existence came along.
******
As early as 6 am, I was up. I was unable to find sleep throughout the night. My mind kept on wandering about. Thinking about Justin, Mneso, and my mother.
So many things crossed my mind but I tried to stay Sane.
I got up from the bed, dehydrated and drained with puffy eyes. Got the kids ready, got ready myself.
I wore a black leather pleated skirt and a white-sleeved shirt. My hair was neatly styled with pins holding every part up neatly.
I picked up my files, double-checked them to see if they were carefully picked out and I didn’t leave anything important out.
I was nervous and at the same time hoping I got the job. I needed it.
I packed Aiden’s and Amelia’s lunch and we were all set to go.
I could leave them all alone. I had to wait for their school bus to arrive before I left even though I was already running late.
At 7:05, the bus arrived and they both bid me goodbye.
I hurriedly hopped into the next available taxi and soon I was On my way to the company. It took 25 minutes to get to the office. I was already so anxious. I didn’t want to make a bad impression on my first day but it felt like I already did.
7:30. I arrived at the office. I straightened my already-straightened skirt with my Hands and walked in elegantly.
The environment was large and conducive. I walked up to the receptionist who was clothed in a blue T-shirt shirt and black pants. I told her I was there for the job interview and she asked me to have a seat.
“The boss will be with you shortly ”
“In the meantime, you can have your seat.” She said to me, The young lady was friendly and she had a nice smile with a well-defined jawline. She was indeed a receptionist.
I did. I took my seat hoping my lateness wouldn’t be noticed.
15 minutes later, I saw a few men. All clothed in suits and holding briefcases coming out of an office just down the hall.
They were part of the business associates the boss was having a meeting with. I sat up and again adjusted my clothing. I double-checked the documents again when the receptionist called out my name and asked me to go in.
“Across the hall by your left.”
I nodded and obeyed. I stood in front of the lited glass door, took a deep breath, and knocked on the door.
I waited for a response but I got none. I decided to knock again but before I did, I heard an irritated voice call out.
“I heard you the first time ”
“Will you just stand there or make your way in?”
Although surprised by the irritated response I got, I had no choice but to obey.
I pushed the door and walked in.
A young man of about 36 years of age was seated behind the desk. He had short hair and a neatly shaped beard. Just like everyone in the office, he was wearing a suit but he looked different and expensive.
His head was buried in the files on his desk with a cup of green tea that was burning hot on the table. I
Could tell just by seeing the heat flames.
I walked in gently and closed the door behind me.
The room was quiet and so was I. Just the door and he got irritated. What more is breaking the silence in the room?
“Are you just going to stand there or Come take a seat ?” He raised his head to take a proper look at me.
I took a few steps forward and did as he said.
“Good day, sir.”
“I was asked to come in today for the job.”
“I know.”
“You are late. ”
“Is this how you intend to work with me?”
“I said 7 .”
“What is the time?”
“If you aren’t ready for a job, you shouldn’t have applied Missy. ” He snapped again.
Staring at me. His stare made me uncomfortable
“I’m sorry, I….”
“You better be.”
“Your files.” He asked for my documents.
His hostile attitude already got me so tense. Thinking of what next I was going to do wrong to get on his nerves.
I stretched my hands to give him the file and accidentally, my hand hit the cup of tea on his desk.
“GET OUT “