I sat by the door for hours. Cried till I had no tears left to cry. I was scared , emotionally and physically. I always wanted to live a life filled with love and comfort just like the fairytale movies I saw as a kid .
I wanted a love life so amazing that it felt fake to others but all those desires remained imaginations in my head. I was numb and dumb for hours. Weak to the bones one could say .
Lost in my own thoughts till I heard a faint knock on the door.
“Mummy ”
Amelia and Aiden were back. I was wallowing in misery for 5 hours.
I instantly stood up, wiped my face and adjusted. My eyes were puffy and my face was swollen . The bruises On my arms and neck were still visible but u couldn’t find a way to cover them up .
I took a deep breath and as always buried my feelings deep down away from the world and most especially my children.
When I opened the door , both Aiden and Amelia rushed in to huh me. I knelt in front of them and gave them kisses on their forehead. Even though I wasn’t genuinely happy, seeing their faces filled my guts with unexplainable happiness.
The thought of Justin taking them away from me like he said gave me chills but I still kept an open mind and if eventually he decides to take such a step, I was ready to fight till my last breath. They were the only source of happiness I had .
“How was school? ”
“Did you have your lunch? ”
I tried to engage them in conversation to take their minds away from me .
Amelia responded but Aiden didn’t.
“What happened to you Mummy? Where is daddy ?”
He looked really curious and concerned at the Same time.
Yes Mummy, where is Daddy ?
A question I was unable to give an answer to . I didn’t want to lie to them and also didn’t want to tell them the truth. I was stuck.
“C’mon let’s get you both clean”
I said to them with a wild smile totally ignoring their questions.
“Did daddy hurt you again? Did he make you cry again ? ”
Aiden touched my face and wiped off my already dried face With his tender hands. It’s true that they were only 4 years old but they knew I was In pain. When Justin left, Aiden and Amelia would come into my room to keep me company even if they were too young to understand what was going on.
“Daddy can’t hurt Mummy. Where Is He ? ”
“He promised to stay with us. Where is he ?” Amelia kept on pestering me for an answer. While Aiden kept asking me what happened.
Their questions were messing with my head. I didn’t know how to answer them , the right words to use and the right excuse.
What do I tell them? That their father laid his hands on me? No way .
“I don’t want daddy here anymore ”
“Where is daddy ?”
“I don’t want him here , I don’t want him to mama cry.”
“Daddy is bad ” Aiden kept hammering into Amelia’s ear with a loud tone.
“Daddy isn’t, daddy isn’t ” Amelia also whining and shouting.
The two of them kept repeating their words.
“Kid… stop it ,”
Amelia got upset and forcefully pushed Aiden to the group.
Amelia? I said in a fierce tone.
“Don’t ever raise your hand to your brother.”
For the first time in four years, I saw my children disagree. My voice cracked as I spoke.
“Your father did’nt do this to me . He is a good man ”
“He had to go to work. He will be back. ”
Okay? They both nodded and I pulled them closer to me with a suffocating hug. I tried so hard not to cry. Justin left our lives but still managed to create problems for us .
Three days passed , and Justin didn’t show up. Maybe he was ashamed of himself or maybe not but he never allowed a second pass by texting me . He left countless messages apologizing for his behavior but none of what he said made a difference to me .
He knew what he wasn’t doing yet he did it . He wasn’t under the influence of Alcohol, was he ?
James had also tried to reach out to me . He kept on calling and texting, I responded to neither. My main focus was myself and my children. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to take that away from me . Be it James or Justin.
I was in the garden watering my vegetables . My favorite thing to do when my phone beeped again. Two messages came in at once.
Justin’s and James’s. Like I have been doing for the past three days, I would read and ignore their messages but this was different. They both wanted to meet up with me.
I opened Justin’s text message and it read .
“Isabelle, I know you don’t want to see me or even talk to me . I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. ”
Please give me a chance to apologize. I don’t mind if you decide to stay away from me henceforth but please just one last chance to make it all up to you .”
He wanted us to meet up at a restaurant a few miles away from my home.
I proceeded to read James’s messages. I opened it and it read.
” Hey Isa, I know you need time to come around and make things right. You can’t do this on your own. I know you are hurting and I really want to be by your side .
I respected your decision and stayed away but I can’t do that anymore. ”
He wanted us to meet at my favorite Bar.
Reading through the two messages, I didn’t know what step to take .
Should I go meet up with Justin or James? I was confused.
******
“Thank you for coming. I really never thought you would show up .” Justin said with a weak corner smile.
Yes, I went to meet Justin. I had a hard time deciding what step to take and there I was. Meeting up with Justin might have been a terrible idea but I had to convince myself with the conclusion that he simply couldn’t hurt me in a restaurant filled with people.
Plus my curiosity got the better of me . I wanted to know what explanation he had for his despicable act .
“What do you want? ” I asked him coldly.
Isa… Justin tried to reach my hand on the table but I retracted.
“I… I’m sorry. ”
” I’m sorry About everything. I’m sorry I left, I’m sorry I broke your trust, I’m sorry Isabelle. ”
“I regret every one of my actions. I regret them, trust Me.”
“Trust you?” I scoffed. Hearing him saying the word Trust sounded like a joke to me.
“I know you don’t trust me anymore. Not after that stunt I pulled. ”
“The truth is I still love you Isabelle. I know you don’t love me anymore and you have moved on but…..
“I found it hard to accept and I allowed my jealous rule over my mind. I’m sorry I ever hurt you, I’m sorry I put you through so much trauma. ”
“I’m sorry. You are doing such a great job with my kids and I’d never think of taking them away from you. They deserve to be raised by a mother like you.”
Those words Justin Said echoed in my ears over and over again. That apology and sincerity I have craved for for years.
It felt like a burden was lifted off my chest and I saw in his eyes the man I loved. I was unable to speak not because I didn’t have the words but because I wanted to live that moment over and over again.
“I’m sorry Isabelle. I’m sorry and I understand if you never want to set your eyes on me but please….
“It’s getting late , I have to go .” I picked up my bag and left Justin alone.
It really was getting late but that wasn’t the reason I left. The kids were with their babysitter and I had all the time to spare but I feared if I stayed a little longer, I might end up being a fool all over again.
When Justin apologized to me , all the pain he had cost me over the years suddenly vanished. I saw love all over or maybe I felt pity .
I didn’t know.
8:30 pm , I got home only to meet James in my living room. The kids were fast asleep. He already sent the nanny home and put the kids to bed.
James had been waiting for me. When he saw I didn’t show up for the meet-up he planned, he came home to me .
“Heyy… I.. uhmm”
“I didn’t know you were coming over. ”
I approached him. Before I could say another words, he gave Me a hug so tight that I felt My intestine and ribs squeezing.
He muttered into my ears.
“I’m sorry.” I love you so much Isa”
He freed me and seductively stared at my lips. Overwhelmed by the feelings, I gave him a kiss. So passionate and sensational that my pussy immediately got wet .
I kissed him once, twice when I realized I couldn’t get enough, I jumped on him with my straight long legs wrapped around his waist. I knew what I was doing but I didn’t know why I did it.
Our lips were still locked together when we found our way to my room. His soft lips felt like heaven on earth. The earth’s swirling scent all around him drove me nuts.
He pushed me on the bed , started to kiss me again, caressing my neck, and my ears. He unzipped my blouse and tossed it aside.
My short flared skirt was already down, all the way down to my knees. My full round breast bounced out. My nippes were already so hard and demanding. My vagina was wet . So wet .
I wanted him. All of him, right there and then.
James stopped kissing my neck. The sight of my breast amazed him , I could tell by the of burning desire In his eyes.