A week had passed and Justin was yet to pop up in our lives, this was surprisingly weird but also very relieving. At least, our week has been less dramatic and stressful. The only thing weird was the way James was behaving with me, it nearly seemed like he was having trust issues with me. Maybe I need to talk to him about it.
” Hey,” I drew closer to him on the park bench. We had gone out for an evening stroll to embrace the cool evening breeze.
” Hmm,” he hummed as I came closer to him. This wasn’t the reaction I was expecting him to make, something was definitely wrong.
” Is there something bothering you? You can always talk to me if that’s the case,” I volunteered. He had been behaving rather restless and unsettled for a while now.
” Yes, I’m surprised you noticed,” he remarked nervously. Why did he look like he was going to break out in serious sweat soon?
” Well, you haven’t exactly been doing a good job at hiding your feelings,” I said bluntly.
” True…,” he mumbled.
” So what exactly happened?” I asked again.
” Justin… Do you still love Justin?” He closed his eyes and asked me as if preparing his mind for the worst. What made him suddenly think I still loved Justin?
” What makes you think I still…,”
” Answer the question,” he demanded. ” Do you still have feelings for him?” He repeated himself.
” I have no idea what is going on with you but of course it’s a no,” I answered in a pissed tone.
” But you seemed to enjoy the kiss in park,” he pointed out sarcastically. I literally froze up as his words dropped on me like a missile. How did he know that I and Justin kissed last week? And why was his interpretation of what transpired between I and Justin this vivid? And how did he know when he was at home that day? Has he been spying on me? The thought of being spied on was even more annoying than his previous remark.
” Have you been spying on me, James?” I asked in annoyance not hiding my irritation.
” Is that really the problem here? But since you’re so concerned about whether I can was spying on you or not, the answer is no. I wasn’t,” he folded his arms.
” Then how come you know that I and Justin kissed?” I was going to act like he was just falsely accusing me before or that he saw wrong but now, I was more concerned with my privacy.
” The kids were talking about it. Well, it was just Amelia rambling to Aiden about how you, Justin andthem will soon become a family once again and that’s when she mentioned what she saw to Aiden when he asked in curiosity what she meant by her speculations,” again, Amelia had put me in a tight corner with her lips. How was I going to defend myself now? There was no way he’d believe me now if I try to feign ignorance.
” It’s not what you think,” I replied looking away.
” Then what is it about? Are you denying kissing him?”
” I actually didn’t kiss him, he kissed me,” I made the difference clear.
” So… What exactly is the difference?”
” He pulled me into the kiss unexpectedly, I didn’t plan on kissing him,” I briefed him.
” But that still doesn’t mean you didn’t want it,” he stood on his ground. What was his deal?
” I don’t love him, you have no reason to be worried,” I sighed as I assured him.
” But sometimes, I feel like you still have some feelings for him,” he said with his head bent.
” You’re overthinking this,” I placed a hand on his shoulder. ” We might have kissed, doesn’t mean I love him. I didn’t expect it so I couldn’t resist him,” I defended myself.
” If you still have some feelings for him, I wouldn’t criticize you for it. After all, you both had kids together so it isn’t unexpected, ” he was obviously tensed up. ” But even if you do, we can think of a way to slowly help you get rid of the feelings. I mean, I really love you and I want to be what Justin couldn’t be in your lives, ” he clasped my hand in his as he looked into my eyes.
Leaning forward, I kissed him on his forehead, ” You’re overthinking this, I don’t have feelings for Justin and I don’t plan on letting him into my life. So there’s no need for you to be patient, because I don’t have any feelings I need to kill,” I patted his head. It was like patting a cute little cat, he was actually adorable when he is worried.
” Why are you patting my head like a little kid?” He pouted obviously feeling much better. I felt bad for always making him feel insecure about what we had, I knew I didn’t love him but I wouldn’t mind falling in love with him either.
” It’s just… It’s really soft and you look kinda cute when you get worried,” I chuckled as he turned a bright red from embarrassment.
” I wasn’t worried, I was simply being an understanding boyfriend,” he folded his hands and muffled his voice.
” It doesn’t matter,” I continued laughing. ” You still looked cute, closer to a soft, furry kitten,” I rubbed my palm against my face like I was holding a soft towel.
” Won’t you at least let me have my dignity as a man?” He said arranging his hair back into place. ” You can’t call a man cute especially if you’re going to compare him with a kitten. That’s so embarrassing,” he grumbled.
” Alright, alright,” I surrendered. ” Let’s do something… Something that can take our minds off this topic for the time being,” I tapped my index finger against my chin as thought.
” Hmmm, how about we go shopping?” He suggested.
” What exactly should we shop for?” My eyes glowed at the words. Why didn’t I think about this first?
” Anything you want but if you want to be specific, feel free,” he gestured with pure chivalry. What was with this overly polite and courteous attitude? James had always had courtesy but this had a different feel about it.
” James, we are not acting a William Shakespeare play of a valiant knight,” I rolled my eyeballs before giggling.
” I didn’t even say anything that would remind you of that. I’ve already concluded that you just want to pick on me today,” he turned his head in defiance as he pouted his lips playfully.
” Maybe,” I chuckled. ” But back to what we were talking about, after shopping for clothes, let’s shop for groceries,”
” Didn’t you already buy groceries?”
” I did but I have something like a game in mind and I would need groceries for that,”
” I thought you’d be a little bit more conservative with food,” he muttered.
” I never said we were going to waste it, ”
” So how exactly does this ‘game’ work?” he emphasized the word ‘game’.
” We buy random veggies and other food ingredients, then we come home and cook anything random. It’s something like a cooking spree if there’s anything like that,” I contemplated for a second.
” Well, I like the sound of it. Let’s go.”