My grip tightened; our eyes locked. I couldn’t let him leave. He was angry and he had every right to be, but he was unpredictable and that was dangerous.
“I ain’t telling you again. Get Everleigh and go fucking home”. He pulled his arm from my grasp, his glare clear.
“Please don’t do this”. I begged.
“The fuck if I’m just gonna stand about and do nothing. I’ll put Nate in his place for the last time. I’ll fucking end him”. His teeth clenched. “Who the fuck does he think he is?”. He roared, banging his fists off the table. I jumped taking a step back. I didn’t like it when he was like this. Ruthless and unhinged. I had no control over him, he had no control.
His focus was solely on Nate and if I couldn’t calm him down, I doubt anyone could.
“Thinks he deserves my girl, my fucking club”. He seethed. “We’ll fucking see what he deserves”. He stormed out of the kitchen. I was hot on his heels.
“Just stop please”. I cried.
“The fuck is going on?”. My dad yelled.
“Take her home and don’t fucking leave until I tell you to”. He snapped glaring at Jared. “Cage you’re with me”.
“Stop him please”. I grabbed my dad’s arm. “He’ll kill him”. My dad went after Blaze, Jared gripped my arm. “Let go of me”. I shrugged.
“Mommy, mommy”. She ran towards me wrapping her arms around my legs. “Daddy angry”. Jared’s grip loosened as I picked Everleigh up, holding her to my chest.
She didn’t need to see her dad like that.
“It’s okay baby, I’ve got you”. Holding her tightly I glanced at Jared as I heard the roar of his bike. “You have to go after him”.
“Strict orders to get you and the little lady home”.
Really?
Glaring at him I grit my teeth. “I’m scared he won’t get to come home”. I bit out.
“He’ll be fine now come on, grab your stuff and let’s go. Keys”. He held out his hand.
“I’m not going anywhere”. I couldn’t go home. I couldn’t just sit about and wait. He couldn’t just leave it alone. Had to act the big man, him and his bloody pride. I get that he’s angry, but Nate wasn’t worth it. He wasn’t worth losing his freedom for.
“Don’t make me force you because you know I will”. He glared.
“You wouldn’t”.
“Fucking fuck”. My dad yelled as he stormed his way through the clubhouse and straight towards his office. Jared’s grip on my arm tightened as I tried to make a beeline for my dad.
“Leave it be Ava. Blaze told me to take you home and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. Come on sweetheart”. He scooped a willing Everleigh from my arms and that gave me the perfect opportunity. “Ava”. He yelled.
Pushing the office door open my dad was sat with a whiskey and a smoke.
“Did you really let him leave?”.
“Blaze does what Blaze fucking wants. Sit”. He ordered kicking the chair out. “Why the fuck did you tell him?”.
Taking a seat I ran a hand over my face. “I didn’t tell him I told mom and he overheard. He goes to jail, and I’m done”. It wasn’t about pride or doing anything about it that annoyed me. It was that he was willing to lose us in the process.
“The fuck you are”. My dad growled. “You’re his old lady A, anything fucking happens he’ll need you to get through it”.
“He should have thought about that before he lost the head and stormed out”. He had me, he had us and his club. He had nothing to prove to anyone. Screw what Nate thought, Nate would never have what he has.
“Men like Blaze can’t just leave it be darling. It’s in his blood. I just hope he doesn’t find him”.
“I can’t do jail; I can’t be the jail wife. What do I tell my kids?”. Another pregnancy he was going to miss, years of Everleigh’s life that he’s going to miss again.
“Calm the fuck down Ava. He’s not going to jail”.
“You went to jail”. Different circumstances but kind of the same.
“Aye and I’d do it all over again. That fucker touched my woman, he deserved to die”. He glared, finishing off the liquor in his glass and pouring another. “No one touches my girls, no one”.
“Ava get Everleigh and go home. Jared is waiting”. My mom entered the office going straight towards my dad. She had heard everything he said.
I guess there wasn’t much I could do. Blaze was going to do what he wanted regardless.
…
Everleigh had fallen asleep; I hadn’t said one word to Jared since we left the clubhouse.
“Be mad at me all you want sweetheart. I’m just following bosses’ orders”.
“You could have stopped him”.
“If you couldn’t stop him what chance did, I have? Blaze can look after himself darling, he won’t do anything stupid”.
“Won’t he?”. He was so angry, furious even.
“He knows if he goes back to jail, he loses you. Trust me he won’t risk it”. Jared turned onto my street parking in the driveway.
I wasn’t convinced. Blaze wasn’t going to let this go. After what Nate had done to him in the past and now saying this. He brought me into it, he brought our daughter into it.
“You promise he’ll come back to me?”. I shouldn’t be putting that sort of pressure on Jared, but his word was the only hope I had right now.
“Ava, Blaze does what he wants, if he-….”.
“I don’t want to do this on my own again”. I whispered. I didn’t want to bring up our kids without him.
“C’mon let’s get you inside and the little lady settled”. He was out of the car before I could say anything else.
That right there told me what I needed to know. Unclipping my seatbelt, I grabbed my bag and headed inside.
“You want me to put her down?”.
“Please”. As he disappeared upstairs, I headed straight for the kitchen. Raking through the drawers I pulled out my stash of cigarettes. Taking one out I held it to my nose inhaling the scent.
Surely one wouldn’t hurt right?
“Don’t even fucking think about it”. Jared was leaning against the door frame.
Sighing, I put the cigarette back in the packet and put them back in the drawer. “I wasn’t going to”. I really wish that was true. If Jared wasn’t here, I would have smoked it and then probably smoked another one. I couldn’t stop the sick feeling I had, and it wasn’t caused by my pregnancy.
“He’ll be home tonight just like he promised”. I knew Jared was trying to make me feel better, but it wasn’t working.
I always thought the worst and until he was home, and I could physically touch him I wouldn’t stop worrying. Blaze wasn’t in the right frame of mind, and I couldn’t blame him. He had a right to be angry, I was angry. Nate had no right to say what he did.
To even think that after all these years he could come between us. Nothing could break us now. We were a family. Blaze was mine and I was his. It was always how it was going to go.
“Ava?”…
“What?”. Glancing at Jared I noticed his frown. Did I zone out?
“You alright?”.
“I’m fine”. Although I wasn’t I was trying my hardest to put on a brave face.
“Is Ally still dropping by?”. He opened my back door taking a smoke from his cut.
Really?
“I’m not the one that’s pregnant”. He smirked lighting up his smoke.
“Shut up”. I glared. “You don’t have to stay with me. I’ll be okay”. Flicking the switch on the kettle I went about fixing myself some tea.
“Ain’t going anywhere sweetheart”.
“There’s no point in wasting your night by hanging around here”. Pouring the hot water into my cup I stirred in one sugar.
“He told me to stay here and that’s exactly what I’m gonna do”.
“Fine I’m going for a bath”.
….
That was a lie. I had stripped out of my clothes and changed into clean pjs. I was currently sitting on the floor by Everleigh’s bed.
She hadn’t woken up once. The little snores coming from her made my heart hurt. I hoped and prayed her daddy would come home tonight.
She deserved more. She missed so much with him already. Yes because of our mistakes and choices but I wouldn’t do that to her again.
If Blaze did anything he could be locked up for life. Would she still remember him? I was thinking way too much into it and nothing had happened yet.
At least I hope nothing happened. Blaze had everything to live for. I couldn’t see him throwing it away, but he was so angry.
There was nothing I could do but wait it out. If he came home, he came home and if he didn’t then I’d figure something out.
Hearing the creak on the stairs I got to my feet. Jared was leaning by the door. “I’m alright, was just checking her”.
“When was the last time you ate?”. He asked as we made our way downstairs.
“Not really hungry”. I collapsed onto the couch turning the tv on.
“Not what I asked darling. You need to eat to keep him strong”.
“I do eat”. Funnily enough I didn’t really have any cravings yet. Probably because I wasn’t that far along. “I don’t have much of an appetite that’s all”.
“I think I’m gonna bring Sasha home”. He sat down beside me.
“You are?”. I turned so I could look at him. “When?”. She should be here anyway. Keeping her locked away wasn’t doing anyone any good.
“She’s better off here. Duke is gonna move back into the clubhouse. Sasha will stay with me until the kid comes”.
“Duke is coming back as well?”. I made a face. “I mean yay”.
“He’s alright and you know it”. He slipped his arm around my shoulder. “And he is her brother”.
“Yeah, I know”. I sighed. I didn’t not like him. We had an understanding. He saved my life that dreaded night. “He just annoys the living hell out of me”.
“I’m sure you put him in his place every time. Now can you please decide what you want to eat”.
“Fine just order-…”. The roar of several bike engines cut me off. I jumped off the couch so fast I tripped over my own feet.
“Ava”….
“I’m fine”. Rushing towards the front door I pulled it open. My stomach dropped; it was my dad.
“No, no”. I stood shaking my head. As Jared went to grab me, I shoved him off. “Where is he?”. Cage was here too. They cut their engines.
“Get her the fuck inside before she causes a scene”. My dad growled.
“Where is he Cage?”. I stormed right up to him pushing on his chest. “You were with him now where is he?”.
He couldn’t look at me.
“Huh”. I pushed again. “Where is he?”.
“I don’t fucking know”. He yelled.
My head was spinning, my vision blurred. Not with tears but rage. I laughed. How did he not know where he was?
“Ava get inside”. My dad ordered.
“I-… how do you not know where he is?”. I chewed the inside of my cheek. “How did you lose him? Is he hurt?”.
“Inside now”. My dad gripped my arm shoving me back inside.
“Let go of me”. This wasn’t good. He wouldn’t just run off again, he wouldn’t leave me.
“He’ll come back when he’s ready”.
“Please just tell me he’s, okay?”. How did this even happen? You ride together, you stay together. “How did you lose him?”. I whispered.
“We stopped for a leak, he slashed my tyre and took off without me”.
It didn’t make any sense. Something didn’t add up.
Taking a seat on my couch I looked at my dad. We didn’t need to share words. He knew what I was asking. I pulled the short straw yet again.
“I’ll find him”. Jared squeezed my shoulder. “Just don’t give up on him sweetheart”.
I wasn’t giving up on him. He would come home, he needed to come home. I just didn’t get why he would slash Cages tyre.
“This is between Blaze and Nate”. My dad cleared his throat. “It’s been a long time coming. We gotta just let it happen. Jared, stay with her, and I’ll take care of the rest”.
“No, I don’t need anyone to stay with me. I’m not a fucking child. You find him and you bring him home”. I disappeared into the kitchen away from them. I needed a minute to think, to reassure myself that everything was going to be okay.
I didn’t care what anyone had to say. I took a smoke lighting it up. Inhaling the first draw I couldn’t help the shaking of my hand. I felt sick to my stomach. The slamming of the front door caused me to jump.
“Ava”. Jared sighed.
He didn’t have to say anything. I passed him the cigarette. “He’s away looking for Nate on his own, isn’t he?”. He didn’t want to involve anyone else. This was between him and Nate, my dad’s words ringing in my head. He didn’t want anyone to die because of him.
“Aye darling”.
“Is-… I’m scared Jared. I’m scared for myself, scared for my daughter. What do I tell her?”. My hand went to my stomach.
“You’re overreacting Ava. Stop thinking about the worst. He’s not going to do anything stupid”.
“Okay” And that was the last we spoke of it.