It was fully furnished.
Everything was where it needed to be.
We were currently in bed, my head against his chest. “You scared me tonight”. I whispered. “I thought you were leaving”.
“Never sweetheart. I just had a shite night, been thinking about a lot recently”.
“Like what?”.
“Just everything. You and Everleigh. I’ve missed so much of her life Ava, and I keep making the same mistake. This club is killing me”.
“Blaze”.
“I’m okay baby like I said I’m just having an off night. Get some sleep it’s late”. Kissing the top of my head he continued to stroke my back with his fingertips.
“I love you Blaze”. I yawned snuggling closer to him.
It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep. The last thing I remember was his phone ringing.
..
I already knew he wasn’t beside me. The bed was cold, so I knew he’d left hours ago. Sitting up I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and dialled his number.
“Hey baby”.
I sighed with relief.
“Where are you?”.
“Had to ride back with Marko, might be here for a few days”.
“But you’re coming back?”. I asked scared of his response. Last night was a whirlwind, I had never seen him so emotional before. Blaze didn’t cry never mind sob; it broke my heart at how he was feeling.
“Course sweets I’ll be back as soon as I can. Are you okay?”.
I could hear Duke in the background, it sounded rowdy.
I didn’t like that he had left without telling me. What did he expect me to think when I woke up. Especially after last night.
“I don’t like that you left without telling me”. I sighed. “You can’t do that Blaze”.
“I’m sorry Ava. It was the middle of the night, and I didn’t want to wake you”.
He didn’t seem himself, something felt off. “Are we okay?”. Wiping my cheek, I ran a hand through my hair. I didn’t like when he wasn’t here. I could deal with him staying out late at night but when I wasn’t getting to see him for a few days I worried all the time.
“Always darling, I’ll be home to you as soon as I can. Give my girl a kiss for me”.
I wanted him home now. When he was like this, he was reckless, he didn’t think before he acted. He may seem fine, but I knew he wasn’t and there was nothing I could do.
“I love you Blaze please remember that and please come home to me”. I could already feel my emotions getting the better of me.
He was hurting and I had no idea why.
“Heads fucked babe”. He sighed.
I knew it. He didn’t open up to me much but that was just the way he worked. He was a man; he didn’t like showing weakness. Crying wasn’t a weakness and I have never loved him more than I did now.
He broke down and it’s exactly what he needed to do. He needed to realise I was here and that I wasn’t going anywhere. I was going through this with him.
“I’m here”. I whispered feeling the lump appear in the back of my throat. “You’re not alone, we will always be here”.
“I love you so fucking much Ava”.
“Please don’t forget that your family is here”. He needed to know I wasn’t going anywhere; he needed the reassurance that I was going to stick by him through everything.
“I know baby. Listen I’ve got to go I’ll check in with you later”.
“I love you”. The line went dead.
..
I was standing in our room with a towel wrapped around my body. I didn’t have any clothes here and Ally wasn’t answering my calls. I wasn’t sure where our friendship stood after what happened. I loved her to death, and she was my best friend, but things got heated between her and Blaze. But she was sticking up for me. She always did.
Scrolling through my contacts I tapped Jared’s name and put the phone to my ear. I wasn’t sure if he was away with Blaze or not.
“Hey darling you good?”.
“Are you busy?”. I asked.
“Just at the clubhouse what you needing?”.
“Could you bring me some clothes please?”.
“Where are you?”.
“At home. I’ve literally nothing but the clothes I had on last night. Please Jared”.
“I’ll be there in 20”.
I had managed to find a pair of shorts that belonged to Blaze and one of his hoodies. After putting them on I made my way down to the kitchen. I loved what he had done with the place. It was so modern and spacious. I loved that Everleigh had her own room.
Raking through the cupboards I grinned when I found the coffee. He knew me to well. I was really impressed that he had done all of this for me and Everleigh, for us to become our little family. Boiling the kettle, I fixed myself a cup.
It was almost noon; my mom had already texted saying she was keeping Everleigh another night. Told me I was to get settled back into my own home so that’s what I was going to do. Blaze was away for a few nights, so I was going to eat takeout and watch bad tv.
I knew Jared had arrived when I heard the roar of his bike. I still had to speak to Ally, but I was afraid she wouldn’t reply to my message when she didn’t return my phone call.
“Hey darling”.
“Hey you want coffee?”. I asked my head still buried in my phone. I wasn’t going to lose a friendship because of a stupid argument between her and Blaze. She was too important to me.
“Where you want this?”. He asked holding up my bag. “Your mom packed it”. Scratching the back of his head he couldn’t look at me.
“Jared?”. I questioned. “Why aren’t you looking at me?”. Fixing him a cup of coffee I passed it to him.
“How do you girls wear them tiny little panties. Do they not stick up your ass?”.
I burst out laughing. He was embarrassed because he had seen my underwear. “Your face is a little red Jared”. I smirked.
“Shut up it’s weird I shouldn’t have seen them”.
“It’s just panties Jared. Surely, you’ve seen a pair before”. I couldn’t stop smiling. He was cute when he was embarrassed. Big bad Jared all red faced because of my panties. This was too good.
“So, you all good after last night?”. He asked changing the subject.
“His heads fucked, isn’t it?”. Taking a seat at the breakfast bar I rested my head on my hand. “Feels like I’m losing him”.
“He’ll be alright Ava he always is”. He sighed taking the seat beside me.
Would he though. This time felt different. He was spiralling down a dark hole, and I was scared I wasn’t going to be able to pull him back out.
“He doesn’t tell me much Jared; he hardly tells me anything especially when it’s to do with the club”.
“What you getting at sweetheart?”.
“What’s happened for him to be like that?”. I asked. “What happened last night before he came to the club?”.
“Ava”. He warned.
I knew he wasn’t going to tell me. It wasn’t any of my business what they got up to. I was just his old lady. “If I lose him Jared-…”
“You’re not going to lose him”. He scowled.
I know I sounded like a broken record when it came to Blaze but he left me once before when he was in a bad place. He seems worse this time so who knows what he’s capable of.
“I can’t just sit and do nothing when he’s falling apart”.
“Trust me Ava he’ll be okay. The few days that he’s away will do him the world of good. Let him clear his head”.
“And what if he doesn’t come back, what do I tell Everleigh?”. I couldn’t even bring myself to think that far ahead.
“You’re overthinking everything darling. You need to get that out your head”.
I couldn’t shake the feeling. I know I keep going on about it, but I couldn’t help it. We were doing so good; we were finally getting to that happy place. I couldn’t live with myself if he walks out of Everleigh’s life.
“I can’t do it on my own again Jared”. I was trying my hardest not to get upset.
“You’re never on your own Ava”. Placing his hand on top of mine a sob fell from my lips. I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I was overthinking and overreacting, but I was a worrier. “You want me to stick around. We can watch shite tv and eat ice cream”.
He really was my best friend.
“And drink wine?”. I asked.
“Sure sweetheart”. Kissing the top of my head he held me close. “Blaze is my best friend, I’ve known him for years darling. I know him better than he knows himself. You’ve got nothing to worry about I promise”. Hearing Jared say that made me feel better. I just hope he was right.
“Thanks Jared and thanks for always being there for me and putting up with my shit”. Jared was the one constant in my life. Even when I moved away, he visited every second weekend. He always made sure I was okay.
“I’ll always be here sweetheart and besides you’ve kinda grew on me these past few years”. He smirked.
Rolling my eyes, I shoved his shoulder. “You’d be lost without me”. I winked. “Can you remember when we first met?”.
“I fucking knew you’d bring that up one day. Don’t even say it”. He warned.
“We didn’t really get on at the start did we?”. I hated him and his bad attitude. “Kinda hated you”. Sinking my teeth into my bottom lip I watched as he frowned.
“You hated me, what for?”. He sounded shocked.
“You were horrible to me. The way you used to look at me used to make the hairs on the back of my neck stand. You were a dick”.
“I was wasn’t I”. He grinned. “But look at us now. We’re the best of friends”.
“Go get the goods I’ll get the TV set up”.
As Jared went to the store, I brought the duvet cover from upstairs down to the couch. I hadn’t picked a movie yet because I didn’t know what to watch. I had my phone opened on a new message but was hesitant to send it. I hadn’t heard from her all day.
‘Hey, I hope you’re okay! I’ve moved into my house finally. Pop round if you’re free. I hope what happened last night doesn’t ruin our friendship. Please call me Ally’
I sent the message. My stomach was full of butterflies, I didn’t want to lose her. We had been through so much together. My phone pinged; I was scared to look.
‘Don’t be silly my girl we’re good! I’ll drop by around 5 I’ll bring dinner and wine’
My body relaxed just as my phone started to ring, Blaze’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hello”.
“Hey darling”. He sounded better.
“You, okay?”.
“I’m good baby just checking in before I hit the hay for a few hours. You at the house?”. I wish he was here sleeping in our bed. I just wanted to take care of him.
“Yeah, I love it, I love what you’ve done with it, and I can’t wait until your home”.
“Good sweets that’s good. Jared with you?”.
“He’s at the store getting me some goodies. I’m going to make him drink wine and watch crappy tv”. I could hear him chuckling.
“Your mom still got Everleigh?”.
“She wanted to keep her another night so I could get settled in a little better. She’ll be home tomorrow though”. My mom was good at sending me hourly updates on what she’d been getting up to. I couldn’t wait for her to see her room.
“Okay baby-.”…
“I want you home”. I whispered cutting him off. I wanted him here with me so badly.
“Soon sweets I promise. Gonna get the head down I’ll speak to you soon. I love you beautiful”.
“I love you too”. The line went dead, and I held my phone to my chest. It was always the worst when he wasn’t here. My stomach was in knots and would be until he was back home. I was snuggled on the couch watching catfish when Jared returned.