I didn’t know what to say to her, but I also didn’t want to leave her on her own. Not when she was this upset.
“Can you give me 5 minutes on my own please?”.
Sighing I got to my feet. “You know where I am if you need me”. Walking back towards the clubhouse I noticed him leaning against my car smoking a cigarette.
“She in there?”. He asked nodding towards the garage.
Nodding my head yes, I took the space beside him linking my arm through his. “How much have we been through together Jared. You helped me after I gave birth to Everleigh, you were there for me when Blaze left. You’re-…”
“What you getting at Ava?”. He moved off the car putting some space between us. “Sorry darling going through some shit”. Running a hand through his hair he laughed. “There I thought the bitch was the love of my life”. Kicking the gravel beneath his feet he flicked his smoke to the ground.
“Jared”…
“I’m alright sweetheart. Gotta run some errands I’ll see you later. Give Everleigh a kiss for me”. Kissing the side of my head I grabbed hold of his arm.
“If she is the love of your life then hear her out, give her a chance to explain”.
“Not right now darling because right now I want to fucking kill her. I’ll see you later”.
Heading back inside a sigh fell from my mouth my teeth sinking into my bottom lip. He was stood at the bar in nothing but a pair of jeans, hair still wet from the shower, feet bare and sipping on a whiskey.
I don’t think he had noticed me yet, but I was happy staring from afar. Slipping my boots off I slowly walked towards him slipping my arms around his waist my hands lying flat against his stomach.
Breathing him in I lay my head against his back just holding him for a few minutes. It had been so long since I held him, touched him even.
Instantly he relaxed.
“Been too long babe”. Placing his hands on top of mine we stood for god knows how long just enjoying each other. I can’t believe it has taken me all this time to realise I need him just as much as he needs me. We were meant to be together and I genuinely believe I was meant to come back here for him.
I don’t know what it was this time, but it all felt right. No more what ifs or any doubt. We were going to make it work and no one was going to stand in our way.
“Mommy”. Came the little voice from the doorway. Standing holding a teddy I hadn’t seen before she rubbed at her eyes.
“Hey baby you have a good nap?”. Letting go of Blaze I walked towards her picking her up in my arms.
“Blaze”. She grinned but it was cut short with a yawn. Yeah, my baby was still tired and would sleep the clock round if I let her.
“Coming?”. He asked holding out his arms. Instantly she was gone, out of my arms and straight into his. It still amazed me at how much she had taken to him.
I loved every little minute of it.
“We go outside and play?”. She asked her little eyes lighting up. “I come see your bike?”.
“Sure, baby but let me put some clothes on first”. Kissing her cheek, he placed her on her feet. “She’s a fucking dream Ava”. Pecking me on the lips he disappeared through to the bedroom.
“Everleigh are you hungry?”.
“I wanna play outside”. She groaned stomping her foot off the ground.
“Everleigh Thomas”. Folding my arms over my chest I gave her a stern look.
Oh god I was turning into my mother.
“Sorry mommy”.
“That’s better now-….”
“Blaze, can we go now, please”. She smiled running towards him.
Picking her up he threw her up and onto his shoulders. “Let’s go give mommy some peace”. Winking at me he took a laughing Everleigh and headed outside.
Rolling my eyes, I couldn’t stop my own smile from forming. The bond they had already created was magical, unbreakable and when the time came it was going to be easier to tell her who he really was.
Going about the kitchen I pulled out some food. Everleigh hadn’t eaten much today, and it wasn’t like her. It amazed me at how much she really was like her dad. She ate everything except broccoli, and he was the exact same.
Putting the chicken in the oven I started to peel the potatoes. Humming along to the radio I didn’t hear her come in.
“They’re like two peas in a pod”. Sasha whispered as she stood awkwardly by the kitchen door.
“Yes, they are”. I grinned as I continued to peel more potatoes. “It’s scary sometimes. Are you staying for dinner?”.
“I-I don’t know”. She stuttered.
Putting the knife down I turned the radio off. She was in a shit place right now and we had all been there, but Sasha was family just like Jared. They had to sort their shit out or just get over it and be done.
Grabbing two glasses I fetched the bottle of wine from the fridge. Pouring her a glass I held it out waiting for her to take it. “Sasha take the damn wine and get your ass in here”.
Potatoes forgotten about we both took a seat at the table. “I know it’s hard Sash but moping around isn’t going to do you any good”.
“Gee Ava thanks”. She huffed taking a large sip of her drink.
“I’m not going to sugarcoat it for you. You fucked up but you haven’t been the only person on this earth to make a mistake”. Placing my hand over hers I squeezed. “But if you love him then make it right, fight for him and show him what he means to you”.
“He won’t even talk to me”. She whispered as the tears followed. God why did looking at her remind me so much of me. I was a crier let’s not forget that one.
“He’s angry and embarrassed and probably hurt. He thought you were the love of his life and-….”
“Wait he said that?”. She asked cutting me off.
Did I just put my foot in it again? Damn!!
Something was telling me I didn’t know the full story. Sasha didn’t seem like the kind of girl that would just sleep around. She knew this lifestyle and she would never cheat.
“What aren’t you telling me?”.
Taking another sip of her wine she took a deep breath. “The night I slept with someone else we had a big fight. I want more, I want to be official in the eyes of the club. He said he wasn’t ready for that. We’ve been dating for years on and off. I don’t want to wait around anymore I know he’s for me. One thing led to another and before I knew what was happening, we were screaming at each other, and he walked out”.
“So that gave you the green light to sleep with someone else?”. I asked not sure what she was getting at.
“In my eyes we were done”. Wiping her face, she finished the wine that was in her glass. “We have been going on like this for years Ava. He’s never ready to take that last step it’s like he wants to keep me hidden like some dirty little secret”.
“That’s not true”. Jared wasn’t like that at all. I knew he was cold hearted and killed when he needed to, but he would never hurt the people he loves.
“He’s the only person I’ve ever truly loved but I can’t wait in the shadows anymore. I want to be his old lady, his partner but more importantly I want to be his best friend. When we’re together nothing else matters”.
“Then you need to put on those big girl panties and tell him”. Filling her glass, I stood from my seat and went back to fixing the potatoes.
“He won’t listen”.
“Then make him listen. Don’t throw away what could be the best thing you’ve ever had over one silly mistake”.
“It’s not a silly mistake in his eyes and I know he’ll never forgive me”.
“Then what are you going to do?”. Cutting up the potatoes I put them in a pot of boiling water and put them on the stove. “I’ve been where you have been and yes it’s not easy but if you’re meant to be together then you’ll be together”.
“You cheated on Blaze?”.
“What. No never. I don’t mean in that sense but similar situation. God, you know how much we used to fight and argue. One minute we were together and the next we were ripping lumps out each other. I have never been unfaithful to him but there was that time I-….”
“Nate, I remember”. Cutting me off she pushed the glass away from her. “Everyone always knew you and Blaze would end up together it was fate but I’m not you and Jared isn’t Blaze. I made the mistake and now I have to deal with it. I have to go do some thinking I’ll see you in a bit”. Getting to her feet she gave me a quick hug before leaving out the back.