46

CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
ASTRID’S POV
I didn’t sleep at all last night.
I kept tossing and trashing on the bed over and over again, thinking about what was about to happen, asking myself one particular question.
Why the hell did he stop himself from kissing me?
We were so close and I was so sure that he was going to do it, why then did he stop?
Did I do something wrong?
I don’t even know why I’m even thinking about this?
He is an Alpha, the most superior being in this pack, he would never be attracted to me. He probably got carried away by the moment and tried to kiss me.
He could never be attracted to someone like me.
I had better forget about…
I can’t.
I just can’t and that’s why I’m heading over to Arya’s chamber right now to talk with her. My head will explode if I don’t share this with anyone.
When I arrive at her chambers, I head straight to her bedroom and when I get to the door, I knock three times and wait for her to open it up.
When she does, I immediately walk in without saying a word and pace nervously.
“Well, good morning to you”
“He almost kissed me!” My mouth blurts out before my brain can say otherwise and she looks at me totally awestruck.
I nod at her and wait for her to respond.
“My brother almost kissed you?” She asked, still in shock and I nod silently.
“Tell me everything, how did it happen? How did things get to that level?”
“Well” I sit on the bed. “I was standing by the balcony when he suddenly put his jacket around me, he then took me into his arms and kissed my forehead. After that, we sat still for a while and talked for a bit. Soon, he got closer to me and when he was about to kiss me, he suddenly withdrew himself and left like I had done something wrong. I was so confused and I still am. Do you think I did something wrong?” I ask worried but she shakes her head as she sits by my side.
“No Astrid, I don’t think you did anything wrong. You see, as it is now, my brother has a lot on his mind. He has a pack to rule, Alpha Adolph to deal with, Freya and even you. ”
“Me?”
“Well, yeah, you. But you don’t need to worry about that. If he stopped himself from kissing you, I want you to know that it was not your fault. Right now, he’s trapped in a very difficult position and he surely got confused.”
“I understand, but… you know, he hurt my feelings. I know this is stupid, but, you know… I mean… your brother has been very nice to me. He was actually the first person to show me kindness after such a long time and in a way, I liked him. I really thought he wanted to kiss me, when he suddenly stopped, I felt bad, like really bad.”
“I understand you love, but you need not worry, because I know that you are not the reason why my brother stopped himself from kissing you. He just has a lot of things he needs to sort out first ” She explains for the umpteenth time and her explanation sounds genuine , but I feel like she is hiding something. There’s something she is not telling me.
I turn around to face her completel.
“Arya, is there something you are hiding from me?” I ask with a serious expression and she creases her brows at me.
“Something?”
“Yeah, I just… you know… I feel like you are hiding something from me” I confess and she lets out a heavy sigh of frustration.
“Astrid, yes, I am hiding something from you. But it’s for your own good and no matter how many times you ask, I won’t tell, because it’s for your own good. We have a reason for hiding this from you” she explains and I can see the determination in her eyes to keep whatever it is they are hiding away from me.
I silently nod my head and accept the hard truth.
“So, is it a good or a bad thing?”
“I can assure you that it’s a very good thing. That’s why he wants to sort things out before dealing with it. It is definitely a good thing” She says smiling and I smile as well.
I’m glad she is being sincere.
“Well, thanks a lot for answering my questions and for being very sincere too. I really appreciate you telling me all this.” I rise up from the bed.
“Anytime Astrid.”
“I have to go and get ready for practice, see you around”
“Astrid” She calls
“Yes Arya”
“When you see my brother, act like nothing happened, so things don’t get awkward between the two of you”
“I will do just that, thank you” Then I walk out of the bedroom, feeling more anxious and curious than ever before.
What are they hiding from me and why are they even hiding it?
What the hell is going on?
As I head over to Alpha Asher’s chambers, I keep thinking about everything Arya and I just discussed and I don’t even realize when I bump into Freya in the living room.
“Astrid!” She calls furious and I look up at her. When my eyes fall on her, I feel. my heart melt that very instant. Fear takes over me and I take two steps backwards and bow my head down.
The conversation Alpha Asher and I had last night replays in my mind and I confidently raise my head up to look at her.
“Yes, Freya” I answer, trying hard to make sure my voice is not shaky and she looks at me totally shocked.
“You have the right to look me in the eyes when I’m talking to you? How dare you?”
“Freya, I don’t have time for this. I have to go for training” I say as I try to walk past her, but she holds me by the arm and tries to stop me from going.
Big mistake!
I yank my hand out of hers and make a quick judgement if I should walk on like nothing happened or give her something to whine about all day and I decide to give her something to whine about all day.
Without warning, I hold her by the left arm and swiftly flip her over my shoulder and she screams in agony as she hits the floor hard!
The color of her eyes change from emerald green to yellow and her fingers partially transform to paws. Her wolf, whatever it is called, is trying to take over her. I instantly change my eye color to red and casther a deadly look.
Statistisfaction.
Satisfaction is all I feel.
“No more bullying Freya. The next time you try to touch me ever again I will make sure I break a few bones before I step away. Henceforth, I’d advise you to stay out of my lane, avoid me!” Then I storm away with a satisfied smirk plastered on my face.
Right now, I feel like some heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders and I can’t help but smile as I walk to my bedroom.
When I get in, I am beyond startled to see Alpha Asher in my bedroom, sitting on my bed.
“Alpha Asher” I call in almost a whisper.
“Congratulations”
“For what exactly?”
“I saw what you just did to Freya, I’m impressed” I turn around and blush hard.
I can’t believe he just said that.
“I… I…” I stutter and freeze when I hear his footsteps approach from behind.
I swiftly turn around and take a few steps backwards, with the intention to widen the gap between us.
I don’t want him to repeat the same act last night. Come close to me and act like he wants to kiss me and when I’m ready, he bails.
I was told he has a lot of things on his mind, so he had better go and deal with them, than to toil with my emotions.
“Is something wrong?” He asks calmly and I’m tempted to tell him how I feel about what he did to me last night, but I decide not to do so.
It’s not even worth it.
“Nothing, I just… I just feel tired and I would really love to go to bed right now”
I lie smoothly.
I’m not tired and I most certainly do not want to go to bed right now.
On the contrary, I want to stay up with him all night and inhale his intoxicating cologne. Maybe have a very cheesy conversation as well. I would really love to have him by my side all night.
“Oh… I see. I… I better leave you alone to rest”
“Yeah” I say nodding.
“Goodnight Astrid. Sleep tight”
“You too Alpha”
The moment he steps out and closes the door, I walk over to my bed and lie on it with arms and legs spread wide open.
Why do things have to be so complicated between us?