Tobias takes Amara from Imogen, who clutches onto her, not wanting to let go of her. “Come on, hun, you need to let her go,” he says, trying to take Amara from her, but she refuses to and shakes her head.
Thaddeus crouches down in front of his mother, grabbing her face and forcing her to look up at him. His eyes are watering as he fights against his own tumultuous emotions. He feels guilty, angry, every emotion ripples through him at war against the other. “You need to give her to me, ma; you need to let her go,” he says, but Imogen shakes her head. “We need to take her home, ma; we can’t stay here,” he says, and I can feel him using his magic, see her eyes glaze over slightly as he nods to his father, who bends down, taking his daughter from his wife’s arms. Imogen reluctantly lets go, staring at her now empty arms.
I look down as I feel a movement in my arms. My daughter sneezes and coughs; her little lips make a little O shape. Her faint cries make everyone look at the bundle in my arms as her face turns, searching for milk, searching for something as her mouth opens, sucking at air.
“She is hungry,” Imogen says, making me look at her. Out of his daze, Theo steps closer, looking down at the baby in my arms.
She starts crying and I try to soothe her. Her cries get louder and fill the silence when Theo steps closer, his arms outstretched, wanting to take her. I stand, passing her to him, and he dusts off his hands on his pants before cradling her in his arms.
“We should head home; she will be hungry, and you won’t have milk now that you’re no longer human,” Theo says, making me remember I also died, but came back.
Looking at Amara, I feel my heart palpitate, survivors guilt kicks in. I realize it isn’t my guilt, but Ryland’s, as he is staring at Amara in her father’s arms. Imogen turns and flees; I hear that she is running toward our house and away from the destruction.
“Can we run with her?” I ask, worried, remembering how sick I always felt running while human.
Theo nods. “Yes, in short bursts. Bianca ran with Thaddeus when she kidnapped him,” Theo says, and I look to my daughter who is suckling on his knuckle, knowing that’s why she has gone quiet.
“Bianca did what?” I ask, confused by his words.
“It’s a long story; one for later,” Thaddeus says as he grabs Amara from his father. I notice Theo looks away like he can’t see his daughter like that, like he doesn’t want to remember her that way. I hear bones snap and see Tobias shift into a black wolf, taking off after his wife.
“I will take Ryland,” Theo says, passing my daughter back and trading places with Orion, who still has a tight grip on Ryland’s arms. Thaddeus takes off, leaving only Orion, Ryland, Theo, and myself.
I look down at our baby and pass her to Orion. “I am scared I will drop her,” I tell him, and he takes her, his hand holding the back of her little head as he tucks her inside his shirt against his chest.
“Let’s go home,” Theo says, looking at what’s left of the building and burning surroundings. I can hear sirens in the distance getting closer, see the flickering of the blue and red lights coming from the town.
Evelyn
I can’t understand; nothing to me makes sense. I just can’t fathom something as tragic as this happening to her. Never, in my wildest dreams, could I picture Amara being gone. It doesn’t feel real, like a bad dream I am yet to wake up from.
When we get home, Thaddeus is nowhere to be seen, yet I can feel his heartbreak, his guilt. Nothing compares to the agony of his tortured soul. No amount of pain I have ever endured measures up to the feelings that swirl within him.
“What’s taking him so long?” Imogen says while pacing around the living room.
Her tears look like they are permanently etched into her grief-stricken face. Looking at my daughter squirming in my arms, I can’t imagine the heartache she is feeling. I have only been a mother for a few hours and know without a doubt I will lay my life down without hesitation for the baby in my arms. I will give up everything and everyone for her in a heartbeat.
“He will bring her back, love,” Tobias whispers, pulling on a pair of pants Orion has handed him.
Theo stands staring out the window, lost in his thoughts. The air in the room is cold and empty despite being overcrowded. There is nothing but silence as we all wait for someone to wake us from this nightmare that I feel we are forever trapped in.
Ryland is sitting on the bottom of the steps, his guilt gnawing at me as I look over at him. Orion keeps giving him worried looks and approaches him. His wounds still aren’t healing, blood drips onto the floor and stains it. The smell of his blood has lost all appeal to me; I am numb with shock.
The shrieking of our daughter’s cries is the only noise to be heard when Orion walks over, holding his arms out, and I place her in them. He walks into the kitchen, and I hear him rummaging around for formula to feed her hungry belly.
Moving over to Ryland, I grip his arm, pulling him to his feet but he shakes me off. My temper flares at seeing him wallow in guilt. I understand his pain, yet she didn’t die saving him for him to drop dead from his stubbornness.
“Amara didn’t give up her life for you to bleed out on the floor. Now get up,” I snap, my voice harsher than I intended as I try to contain my emotions. Imogen and Tobias’ heads snap over to me, where I stand at his feet.
“Evelyn is right, dear; no one else needs to lose their life today,” Imogen says, her voice shaking as she walks over to him and grabs his face, forcing him to look up at her. How she holds it together and doesn’t blame him is beyond me. I wish I could be as soothing as she is despite how much she has endured today. “Amara wouldn’t want you in pain; let your mate help you.”
“She died for me, Ma; I can’t live with that,” he whispers, and places his head in his hands and starts crying. His body heaves as his words reverberate around the room, hitting him harder at the realization.
“I have lost one child already; I won’t lose another. Now, get up and get cleaned up while we wait for Thaddeus to return,” she tells him.