Thaddeus storms out of the bathroom, and I let out a breath of relief. My body shudders as another wave washes over me, making my toes curl in pleasure and scream in pain at the same time. Such a strange sensation is agony, a form of torment on its own. He is not the only one brutalizing me, but myself, for not giving in; but this is my choice, the choice I want, and I can bear it because it is my choice not to give in. Ryland steps into the shower, making my eyes snap to his.
“I’m not going to do anything, I promise,” he says through gritted teeth as he sits on the shower floor, becoming drenched by the cold water. “You don’t need to be in pain, though,” he says, removing his shirt and dumping it on the floor as he opens his arms up. I glare at him, but he puts his hands up in surrender. “I know you don’t want us touching you, Evelyn, but it will ease the pain. I have control, I promise,” he says, reaching for me.
He grips my arms but waits for me to move, not forcing me. His hands instantly give me relief, letting me let out the breath I was holding, and my body relaxes slightly. I crawl onto him, resting my head against his chest. Orion tugs on my shirt, and I slap his hand away.
“It will help, Evelyn, skin to skin,” he says, and I let him tug it off over my head. It does help, Ryland’s warm chest against mine helps. I wiggle my hips as arousal floods through me, and I can feel the bulge in his pants underneath me.
Ryland growls, and I try to get off when he pulls me against him. “I am fine; I can keep my pants on,” he says. I can feel through the bond he wants nothing more than to remove them and sink himself into my throbbing heat.
My heat lasts hours, longer than before because I refuse to ease it. Ryland remains rigid underneath me, keeping his word and not touching me. I can hear Thaddeus pace in the bedroom, feel his hunger and desire through the bond, but he never steps foot back in the bathroom, fighting with himself. My words cut him deeply, and I can feel guilt through the bond, but he is too stubborn to admit to it.
I can tell they are all in pain and just as uncomfortable as me. I’m not sure how I survive it, it is torture, especially knowing they can stop it, but they respect my wishes and don’t push me. Instead, they just watch me, Ryland, still as a statue beneath me, his hands clenched tight at his side.
Eventually, the pain becomes too much, and I pass out. Welcoming the darkness as it consumes me, I survive the heat, but I’m unsure for how long until it comes back. One thing I am aware of is that I am stronger at resisting the bond than I thought, because the entire time, I wanted to give in, wanted it to end, but I didn’t break; the heat didn’t break me.
Evelyn
When I wake up, my body is killing me, every muscle aching like I have run a marathon. Stretching, I roll and come nose to nose with Thaddeus. His eyes are wide open, staring back at me, and I can’t help the squeal of fright, opening my eyes to his green ones so close.
He says nothing, just watches me, sending a shiver up my spine with how hollow he looks, empty and emotionless. My heart is pounding in my chest before palpitating.
Fear is something I have grown used to, but it never gets any more welcoming; you can never get used to the feeling. And even though fear is something I feel regularly, it never becomes familiar or comfortable, just there, waiting to flood me when I least expect it.
I feel a knot form in my stomach and wriggle away from him.
“Do I scare you?” he asks, his eyebrows furrowing.
“Sometimes,” I answer honestly.
He does most of the time, but I can usually get rid of the fear or push it aside and look past it. This feels different, though. The fear feels different; it isn’t what he can do to me but what he can make me do to myself. That is a different level of fear, knowing he has that sort of control, that level of power over me. It’s one thing influencing someone’s actions, another when they are vulnerable and unable to help themselves, like the puppet on the strings. And right now, I am his puppet; he gets to choose what happens next. The ultimate control, and knowing he has control over me scares me. He can ask me to kill myself, and I won’t be able to stop myself from doing it.
“Am I scaring you now?” he asks, rolling on his back.
“Yes,” I tell him.
He seems to think, and I try to sit up and get off the bed when his hand grabs my wrist. “Lay back down,” he says, his voice leaving no room for argument, and I do as I am told. “Why do I scare you?” he asks, letting go of my wrist. How can he ask that? How does he not see anything wrong with his actions?
“Because I am your puppet, your little breakable toy you can do what you want with.”
“You don’t trust the decisions I make for you?” he asks, still looking up at the roof.
“No, why would I? You made me wet myself,” I tell him, my cheeks burn just at its thought.
“But did it work? Will you run again?” he asks.
“You mean did you succeed in humiliating me? Yes, you succeeded. Nothing more degrading than being deprived of something so basic,” I tell him, and his head snaps to the side, looking at me.
“But will you run?” he asks again, putting his demand behind it, but I don’t even fight against it.
“First chance I fucking get,” I spit at him.
Thaddeus growls and jumps on me, pinning me beneath him. I try to kick him off, but he just presses between my legs, his face barely an inch off mine. “You will never leave my side, Evelyn, and even if you somehow manage it, you will come back. The mate bond will see to that,” he tells me.
I shake my head. His hands grip my wrists tighter, pushing them into the mattress. “I hate you,” I tell him, and he smiles sadistically. I can feel the darkness within him, consuming him.
“And I love you,” he says, his eyes glowing hypnotically back at me.
“You have a funny way of showing it. Do you treat everyone you love like this, or is that part of you reserved for me only?” I ask him.
Thaddeus growls; his nose runs along my jaw to my neck. “They know their place is beside me, they know I would never do anything to harm them intentionally, yet you disobey me. I didn’t think you would be stupid enough to go alone after that woman threatened you and put yourself in unnecessary danger.”
I know I shouldn’t play with fire but fuck it; I have already been burned before. “The only time I find myself in danger is when I am around you,” I tell him.