Evelyn
“I thought you said Lana wasn’t there,” Thaddeus asks over my shoulder.
“She was there. She tried to put me out; she burnt her hands terribly,” I answer. My heart pounds in my chest as I remember the smell of my burning flesh and hair, so pungent I can almost taste it in my throat, making me want to gag. “I don’t want you to take it away.”
Orion watches me, confused. I thought I wanted that, but I don’t want to forget Lana. Why I did it, makes it easier to live with what I have done.
“I don’t understand?” Orion says, moving closer, his head lying next to Thaddeus’ leg as he lays down.
“I don’t want to forget her; I need to know I did it for a reason,” I tell him.
“What do you mean?” Thaddeus asks, pulling my face to his, his eyes searching my face.
“I… I…” I can’t bring myself to say it.
“You what, Evelyn?” Thaddeus asks again, and I can feel all their eyes on me.
“Anything you have done cannot be compared to what we have done, Evelyn. We won’t judge you,” Ryland tells me, looking up at me.
“He wouldn’t have stopped, so I killed him. I set the fire; I set him on fire.”
They look shocked, and I can feel their shock through the bond before confusion sets in again. I have carried that for so long, and saying it feels like a relief, like someone has lifted the weight off me. I killed somebody. He may have been a monster, but I still killed someone.
“He would have raped her, too. I couldn’t leave her with him, so I killed him. I was going to age out of the system, but she would have had to put up with it for another six, or more years. A year was bad enough for me; I couldn’t imagine leaving her with him. I couldn’t let him destroy her, too.” I whisper, looking away back toward the window.
Thaddeus growls loudly, and I jump, anger radiates through the bond. I knew they would hate me for what I have done and should have kept it to myself. Getting off the bed, I move away. Ryland sits up, watching me.
“See? This is why I didn’t tell anyone; no one would believe me,” I tell them, tears brimming in my eyes.
“We aren’t angry at you, Evelyn. He deserved it, you did nothing wrong,” Orion says, but Thaddeus is glaring at me.
I step back as the lights flicker. My eyes dart to Orion, who is watching me, and I don’t understand the look he is giving me. Disbelief, shock, I am unsure, but I can tell Thaddeus is angry at me. Is it because I am used goods or not as innocent as he thought?
When I hear Thaddeus growl and the lights go out, I turn on my heel and run for the door. Running into something hard, I nearly fall over as I feel a hand reach out and grab me. The flickering of the lights stops, and I find Thaddeus standing in front of me, blocking the door. My heart is beating in my chest so hard I can hear it, feel it jolting against my chest painfully.
He clamps his hands on the sides of my face. I brace myself, knowing this is how I die. This is my karma for what I did. Then suddenly, I feel his hands heat before they go ice cold, and I scream as my mind is consumed. I feel what feels like fingers sifting through the files of my mind.
It’s the weirdest sensation, like I can feel him picking through memories before I am suddenly plunged back into my fifteen-year-old self, seeing the moment I am dropped off at their house by my caseworker.
I feel my breath hitch when she knocks, and I am excited to be, with what I thought, was a friendly couple. I feel tears brim and fall as I sob.
The entire year I am with them, every waking memory of that year flashes before my eyes so fast I can’t catch my breath. Thaddeus growls loudly, and I can feel his hands shake as the movie of my life suddenly stops, and I am staring into Thaddeus’ hypnotic green eyes, dazzled by them. His words echo in my head, and it’s all I can think of.
“It’s over. It happened, but it doesn’t hurt. You did what you had to do. You are safe now. Let it go.” I try to shake off what he says, when I find it slipping deeper into my mind, the memories become foggy and distant, the surrounding feeling slips away with them. I find myself repeating after him. The words leave my lips, and I feel like I am in a trance.
“It’s over, it happened, but it doesn’t hurt. I did what I had to do. I am safe; I can let it go.” The moment the last words leave my lips, I feel the weight lift, feel everything holding me back, lift, and I feel light, like I can breathe for the first time.
I feel free. Free of the guilt, free of the pain, and free to move on. Thaddeus’ eyes are searching my face, and I feel tears run down my cheeks; not tears of sadness but tears of relief. I am finally free. I run into his arms as he lets go, hitting his chest hard. I am safe. They are safe.
“Thank you,” I whisper, as I sob into his chest, his arms wrap around me, holding me to him before I feel him grip my waist, and I wrap my legs around him, hugging him tightly, his hands rub my back soothingly.
Ryland
She panics, thinking our anger is at her and bolts for the door. Our anger isn’t directed at her but at what happened.
Thaddeus growls, the lights flicker out before flicking on, and he is directly in front of her. She freezes, her entire body tense as he grips her face and sifts through her mind, digging through every memory.
His eyes turn black once he finds what he is looking for, his grip tightens on her as he watches every memory. Every emotion she feels in that year hits him and me, and I feel sick to my stomach.
Running for the bathroom, I throw up, feeling everything that piece of shit did to her. I have never been sick, so this is a fresh experience for me. My throat burns as I throw up the contents of my stomach. I can feel him still sifting through her memories and feel what she endured as I wash my face before walking out.
Orion is sitting there with wide eyes, and I know he is in Thaddeus’s head, watching along with him. I am glad I don’t have that gift for once because curiosity probably would have made me snoop. Thaddeus’ words pull my eyes back to him as I feel the ill-feeling coiling in my stomach leave.
“It’s over, it happened, but it doesn’t hurt. You did what you had to do. You are safe now. Let it go,” he says. Her eyes glaze over as she tries fighting against it.
I am shocked he doesn’t just completely erase it. He lets her keep the memories because of the girl she doesn’t want to forget. Thaddeus’ hands glow green as I watch him pull the darkness from her, absorbing it and taking it from her.
A range of emotions flood the bond as he repeats his words, and she repeats after him. Relief is all I can feel from her as the heavy burden of what she carries is lifted. She runs to him, her little arms wrap around him as he picks her up, hugging her close like they are each other’s lifeline.
Thaddeus’ green eyes go to ours, and Orion and I watch as he closes his eyes, tears run down his cheeks at what he saw, what she went through.
It is the first time we have ever seen him cry.
I didn’t think he was even capable of tears. Orion, I can feel, is just as upset, and I promise myself never to ask what they saw. Orion moves to her, wrapping his arms around them, and Evelyn turns her head on Thaddeus’ shoulder. She looks completely relaxed and at home in their arms.
I let out the breath I am holding, watching them in awe. Thaddeus kisses her head, and she lifts her face from his shoulder to kiss him. Thaddeus’ shock hits me as he kisses her back softly. His hand goes into her hair, gently holding her in place. I chuckle at the sight as she pulls back, resting her forehead on his.