Imogen
For months we have been hiding at Claire’s cabin in the woods. Months of feeling their pain, though they can’t feel mine. Claire assured me that much.
I don’t think they will cope if they know how much I want them. I rub my hand over my swollen belly; it is hard and round while I look out the window over the breathtaking scenery. We are high in the mountains, nothing to be seen except the dense forest. It is peaceful here, but lonely. I crave to be back in their arms, crave their touch, crave the smell of them, my entire body yearns to be with them. What makes it worse is being able to feel them. Feel their heartache, feel their anger, feel their need for me. But knowing they are slowly going insane without me pulls at something deep within me. It aches more deeply than I can explain.
Like it is pulling on my soul, yet looking down at my growing belly, I know it is worth it. Caroline thinks I can have the baby any day now. Yet, we never talk about what will happen afterwards. Never talk about whether I will still be alive to see my child. I know she fears the unknown too, fears what Tobias and Theo will do if I die. Claire told me she can’t see my future, can’t see if I will survive the birth. Said she can only see darkness when she tries.
Claire has been teaching me spells and how to make potions, using the herbs and plants from her gardens. Yet, actually conjuring magic is proving difficult. I can kind of feel it, yet nothing happens. I have scoured over my family’s grimoires so much; I now know every spell and enchantment off the top of my head. I can’t do anything with the power I apparently possess and can’t quite seem to grasp it.
Claire seems to think I need to find my grounding place; I know I won’t find it here. I feel more grounded with them, calm. Here, I feel nothing but loneliness.
Looking out at the mountains, I watch them slowly disappear under the clouds. A storm has been brewing all day. I can feel its vibrations and know it’s going to be a bad one. Caroline and Claire seem to think it’s because I’m feeling my inner power. I’m not so sure, I don’t know what to believe anymore.
All I know is I need them, like I need oxygen to breathe. Without them, my life is hollow. I feel like I’m slowly losing myself. Constantly consumed by the chatter in my mind. Getting up from my position, I walk down the stairs to find Caroline and Claire. The cottage is more like a log home or a giant playhouse. I walk down the creaky wooden stairs that spiral to the floor below, an enormous fireplace sits in the center of the house going through both floors. This place has its own aura, its own life about it, with its branches snaking in creating the roof protecting us from the elements outside these walls.
Standing on the slate floor, I feel the vibration through it as thunder crackles outside. The wind picks up and howls loudly. I walk to the front door and peer out. Caroline and Claire are running around, trying to secure everything. Claire is throwing nets over her garden beds, while Caroline moves all the outside furniture. Stepping outside, the wind blows my hair wildly as it picks up in intensity, nearly knocking me off my feet.
Caroline, hearing my gasp as I breathe in the frosty air, looks in my direction. “Imogen get inside, you shouldn’t be out in this!” She yells, yet by the time her voice carries over the wind it sounds more like a soft murmur.
Claire staggers over to me, grabbing my arm, pulling me inside and shutting the door. “I will make some tea,” she says, trying to distract me from the storm raging and building up outside.
“Will this place hold when it hits?” I ask.
Claire looks around nervously. “It should do. I will have the trees outside reinforce the place and bend them to build a canopy,” she says. “Would be handy if my element was wind,” she mutters to herself.
I can tell it worries her. There have been plenty of storms while we have been here, but nothing has felt like the one building up outside.
I learned that Claire is an Earth witch like my mother. By the grimoires, I’m certain my grandfather’s element was fire. Mine is yet to be seen. There are only five elements: Earth, Fire, Water, Wind, and Spirit. Though Spirit is rare, it has control over all four other elements.
Claire and I have been working on trying to crack my talisman, but she seems to think only strong emotion or a vehement reaction from me will break its bindings. Being here, I feel nothing but hollow and she seems to think that is why I can’t break it.
I tug at the bracelet as it itches my wrist, my hands and feet have become so swollen, and my blood pressure so high, that everything swells and itches. I make my way over to the table and sit down. My back aches from the extra weight. Yet, I have been lucky enough not to get stretch marks, not that it will matter once the baby tears itself from me. I often wonder how bad it will hurt.
Claire thinks the baby is a girl, yet I have this feeling it’s a boy. In my dreams, I see a little boy with the most beautiful green eyes. He has Tobias’s dark hair and rosy cheeks. I have been finding one thing strange; we know this baby is a were-baby. Yet, I have actually been craving blood, and not just human blood, any blood. I haven’t had the guts to tell Caroline, not wanting her to worry. But I even crave her blood, which I find weird. Vampires crave human and Lycan blood, not their own species. I don’t know what to think of it. So, I try to ignore it as best I can, plus the whole thought of drinking blood grosses me out.
Caroline comes in just as Claire finishes making the tea. She sets a cup down in front of me. I can smell the lavender in it and my mouth waters. I never thought of lavender as edible, yet Claire puts it in everything. Caroline watches me sip my tea, a strange look on her face before grabbing her cup.
She sighs after she takes a sip. “How are you feeling today?” She asks, watching my face.
“The same as always,” I murmur.
“It will be over soon.” She says but adds nothing else like my death is an unwelcome topic. I go to ask her a question when a pained expression takes over her face.