I place my hands against his chest to shove him back. His lips leave mine and he nips at my jawline. My eyes flutter and the hands meant to place him away, hold on instead. I can’t fight this, it feels so damn good. His hands curl around my hips and he sets me on top of the counter, pushing against me so his hard erection brushes against me.
His lips move down, kissing and sucking on the skin of my neck, his cold tongue tracing a pathway. My hands bury themselves into his hair. Theo’s mouth devours my skin, sending goosebumps everywhere his lips touch. I moan in encouragement, lost to his every touch. The contrast of my now burning skin to his cold lips makes me shiver. When he gets to my collarbone, he pulls the top three buttons of my dress open kissing the top of my breasts. My thoughts are lost to the teeth nipping at my sensitive skin.
It hurts when he bites my breast. I squirm, but even then I can’t push him away. His tongue glides over the bite mark and the chill of it takes away the sting. My head falls back against the wall. Theo tugs my dress down lower, my breasts threatening to spill out. My eyes flutter, and the fog fades in a blink. There, just over Theo’s shoulder and watching us, is Tobias. He stands in the middle of the doorway, calm enough, but his dark eyes burn. His arms are crossed over his chest, not interrupting us, but just watching.
I gulp, looking away and tugging my dress back into place. Theo looks up, following where I’m staring and his eyes lock onto Tobias. He helps me adjust my clothes back and stands up, releasing me from whatever spell that gripped me.
“About time you came looking for us,” Theo winks at me with a cocky smile on his face. I’m breathless and confused, looking between the two of them. Is this the reaction he wanted? A pissed off Tobias catching us being inappropriate in the kitchen? Theo strides out of the room like nothing notable happened, like he hadn’t just been caught making out with their secretary.
Tobias just calmly stands there for a second before turning around and walking out, his fists clenched tightly. I know Tobias’s silence is deadly, like a ticking time bomb.
I quickly fix my dress and try to get my bearings. What the fuck just happened? I had no intention of doing anything. I know it’s wrong, yet my body reacted like I was possessed. Theo overwhelmed my senses completely, overriding my common sense. Jumping down from the counter, I quickly grab my coffee and go back to my desk. After this, I can’t let myself slip back into fantasizing about them, either of them. That has to be why I can’t resist Theo. I’ve been lost in another one of my own imaginings.
When work is just about finished, I receive a call from the lobby downstairs. A package has arrived. Seeing it as an opportunity to escape from the tension hovering over the office space, I hurry downstairs and retrieve the box. I take it back upstairs, grab a pair of scissors and get to work. I slide the blade down and to the sides to tear the tape. Once the excess tape is removed, I open the box.
Whatever joy has been left in me dies. I stare at the dark plastic urn nestled in the box’s confines. I forgot all about my mother’s remains. I was supposed to get a call to pick them up, not have them mailed to me. The hospital is directly across from us. Why didn’t they ring me instead of shipping them over?
My bottom lip trembles. I pull the urn out, hugging it to my chest. I bite myself, trying to stop the shaking. This is all that is left of the most important person in my life. The woman that was so strong willed and full of life, reduced to handfuls of ash. I slip the urn back into the box. What is the whole point of living if we are just going to die anyway? I remember when I was a child and a close friend of mine died, I asked my grandmother at the time that exact question.
My grandmother’s reply was simple, “It’s the memories in between that of life and death that matter.” I didn’t understand what she meant back then. In a way, I do now.
It’s the memories we leave behind, both the good and the bad. The memories others hold of us that get to live on. Now that’s all I have left of her – memories. Memories are what I will have to hold closest to my heart because they will be the only thing to remember her by. I will never get to hear her voice again, never get to feel the warmth of her hugs. Everything I’d forced to the back of my mind rushes forward because of this small plastic urn, the only thing left of the amazing woman she was.
I pack the urn back into the box, secure the lid and stare down at it, lost in my thoughts. I stare off blankly into space, I don’t notice Tobias until he speaks. “What’s in the box?” He asks, moving the lid, ready to peer inside.
I close the box before he can see. “Nothing,” I say, picking it up. It’s already time to leave for the day. I follow Tobias, Theo walks out of his office and heads to the elevator seeing that we are ready to leave.
I step into the elevator and move to the back behind them, the box clenched tightly in my hands. I’m back on autopilot, going through the motions but not really experiencing any of it. When we get to the car, I retreat to the backseat, the box still cradled in my arms. I ignore Tobias trying to tell me to get in front. I don’t want to be next to either of them after today’s earlier incident. Guilt eats at me over Theo kissing me, did I lead him on in any way? Tobias hasn’t mentioned it. But by the way he refused to talk to me most of the day, I can tell he’s pissed off.