I scramble to my feet, doing the last of my buttons and scurrying out of the office. I can swear they laugh at my escape. I rush into the bathroom and do as much damage control as possible. I still have a meeting to get through.
When I walk in, a few people’s heads turn at my shirt choice, but no one says anything. Even if they want to, I doubt they would have dared with Tobias and Theo walking in directly behind me. Whenever they are around, people seem to disappear or walk in the opposite direction. No one likes crossing their path for fear of losing their jobs, being yelled at, or having something thrown at them.
The fact that every other secretary quit under them shows how demanding they can be. Once the meeting is over, after endless hours of going through the files I’ve sorted, I hastily leave the room, going back to my desk, when my phone rings. It’s the hospital calling. I don’t hesitate to answer. I prepare myself. “Hello.”
“Imogen, it’s me Sally.” Her voice comes out in a rush. My heart skips a beat. I have been waiting for this call, I just wasn’t expecting it to be today. “The Medical Ethics Board ruled against you. They have decided to turn your mother’s life support off, saying it is no longer medically viable to have her remain on it.” Her words make sense, but after her first sentence I find it impossible to focus.
My lungs constrict painfully, the pressure almost unbearable. I thought I was prepared for this phone call. I’ve wasted a night I could have seen her, one more day holding her hand, telling her I love her. My throat gets tight, it’s hard to breathe, and I start hyperventilating. My eyes blur with unshed tears. I can’t afford to pass out. Not when my mother needs me. My heart plummets into my stomach. I fight the tears from spilling over. Sally’s still talking, I need to focus on her. Grasping the phone, my knuckles feel like they are going to split through my skin. My voice shakes, I can barely get the words out, I’m surprised Sally can understand me at all. I can’t even recognize the simple word that just comes out of my mouth. “When?”
“Tonight, Imogen. I’m so sorry.” Sally doesn’t sound like she’s doing so good herself. But I have nothing in me to care about others. I hang up the phone in a daze and grab my keys and purse. I’m on full autopilot. My hands shake as I try to think of what I should be doing at this moment. Gathering the last few things I need, I make my way to the elevator. My vision has gotten dark, all I can see is straight ahead. I jab the button to go down and the doors slide open, revealing my two bosses in all of their glory. But yet, none of that matters to me. I have to get out, get to the hospital and get there now.
They’re talking but stop immediately as I shuffle into the elevator, moving between them. They turn around, both staring at me. Theo speaks but I can’t hear a word he’s saying, my ears pound with my heartbeat. The only word I hear is tonight, they’re taking her off tonight. Theo reaches for me, but I put my hands up, warding off their advances as my body shakes.
“Don’t touch me, I… I need to go,” I stammer out, before slamming the button repeatedly to go down to the ground floor. They quickly step out of the elevator, concern etched on both their faces before the closed doors erase them from my sight.
I know they’re concerned, but right now I don’t care to explain my current situation. Not that it involves them, or that they would care. I just need to get to her. Get to my mom and say goodbye before it’s all over.
I watch the buttons light up for each floor I go down, time slows as I watch the numbers tick down. I’m nervous, impatient, and try to hold all my pieces together. Sally’s voice echoes through my mind, repeating the words that I feel will stop my heart from beating. Only, it’s still thumping painfully in my chest.
When the elevator doors ping on the bottom floor, I take off running, my shoulder smashes into the elevator door having not had enough time to open completely. I can’t feel anything but the dread building inside of me. The hospital isn’t far, and I make it there in under five minutes. My heels slide on the floor outside my mother’s ward door as I grip the door handle, take a breath, and walk in.
The ward is full of doctors moving other patients out. Sally stands amongst them, her green scrubs stand out amongst the doctors in their white coats. She glances at the clock, probably wondering if I’ll get here in time. Seeing me, she comes rushing over and wraps her arms around me. “I’m so sorry, Imogen.”
I nod, watching as another patient is wheeled out and transferred to another room, leaving only my mother, a doctor, Sally, and myself.
The doctor is an older woman in her fifties. She has graying hair that reaches her shoulders, pulled back with a clip, kind, soft brown eyes, and a pale complexion. She’s wearing a doctor’s coat and white scrubs. Her name tag reads Laurel.
“Hi, you must be Imogen?” she says, reaching out and grasping my hand softly between hers.
“The Medical Ethics Board has decided to remove your mother from life support. In doing so I will just prepare you for what will happen next.” I stare at her, my face completely blank. I think I’m in shock, but at the same time I understand everything she says, even nod a few times.
When she’s done, she asks If I want some time with my mother. I nod my head and they both walk out, leaving me alone with her. I walk slowly over to her bed and hold onto her hand. Looking down at her, she looks like she’s just sleeping, her face is slack with the tube hanging out of it, keeping her breathing. I stroke her hair gently.