Sheena
Now I know a little bit more about Alicia; she had been telling me that she was already dead and that someone had cursed her, which is why she can’t rest in peace. After that, she did not tell me more about herself. Though she did not remove the curse on me, I did not waste the opportunity to conspire with her, because I also wanted to be free. Alicia can help me get rid of it because I know that she is powerful. She had told me that she could not remove the curse once it had already infected my body. She also told me not to worry too much because she knew that this curse could not easily control my whole body. Alicia was going to tell me what to do to get rid of it when Amara knocked on the door of my bedroom.
I looked at Alicia and said, “You should go now because Amara might see you if you stay here.”
“Sheena, have you forgotten that I am already dead and you are the only one who can see me?” Alicia replied.
Maybe it is also a power that I can see ghosts, maybe I have a third eye, or there are many hidden things about me and my family. My parents had not been telling me about it because this power could also harm me. But it is just my inference.
“Are you sure that nobody can see you except me?”
“Yup! Alive people can only see me if I give them permission.”
Alicia went towards the window and looked outside. I went towards the door, opened it and let Amara enter my bedroom. Alicia and this door are the same that someone can only enter if I open it. But there is something more. I will only open the door if I know who the person is that wants to enter. I am not curious anymore if Alicia knew me for a long time. It is just me who does not know her well.
“I can hear your voice downstairs. Who are you talking with?” Amara had gotten inside my bedroom and looked around as she was investigating whether there was someone inside, but she saw nothing. She was just passing by in the body of Alicia.
She did not know that there was someone inside, she could not see Alicia. I am also sure that Amara won’t believe me if I tell her the truth. She might think that I am really out of my mind.
“Sister, Amara, there is nobody inside, I am just alone here.”
“You are thinking that I am searching for someone here?”
“Ah… I mean… Yeah, because you seemed to be searching around.”
“Yeah, you are right. I am searching if there is someone here because I heard you scolding many times and your voice seemed very angry.”
“That was nothing. Look, there is no one here.”
“I see, but why are you shouting here alone? Are you lost in kindness?”
“No, Amara, I am just singing here,” I replied, then chuckled.
“Singing? But shouting is different from singing… I have just noticed that there are many wrong things that are happening to you these days. Are you hiding something from me?”
“You are such a serious sister. You have known me for over five years. Do I look like I am hiding something from you?” I asked and chuckled. “I am just singing here. You already know that I don’t know how to sing. That’s why I am shouting,” I defended myself.
“Well, I can do nothing about it anyway. You are already big, and you also have your own preferences, beliefs, and businesses to deal with, and me, I am just your maid.”
“Amara, can you stop saying that? You already know that I am not treating you as a servant. You are my sister and you can do everything around the mansion. But as with you, I also have some secrets, and we both need privacy.”
“You are so clever. Can you tell me one of your secrets?” She chuckled when saying the word “secrets” and I sensed what she meant. “Do you have a boyfriend?” She asked, then chuckled.
“You are overthinking it. I don’t have a boyfriend…” I replied. “Maybe a crush, I have, many.”
“A crush…? Would you tell me something? Or a clue?”
“Yeah, of course.” When we got outside my bedroom, I shut the door and took the winding stairs. Alicia had also gone with us. I was so amazed at her because she could pass by the door even though it was closed. She was indeed powerful.
“Then tell me,” Amara said.
“He was a man.”
“You are really out of your mind.” She took a big step up the stairs, as if she did not want to talk to me anymore. Whatever. I don’t care if she is angry; I know that she cannot tolerate not talking with me for a short time, because we are always having a conversation.
I am also hoping that I have not made a mistake in conspiring with Alicia. Because one wrong decision can change everything. Well, I am not thinking that Alicia is just making a monkey out of me, because she had clear intentions and that was to be free from the curse. Maybe I need to sacrifice or tolerate some things so that I can also be free from this.
Alicia just seemed to be cruel. My beliefs appear to have shifted because I used to believe that if someone is cruel, he or she cannot become good. Well, it was not officially known that Alicia was good. She might just be using me for her own dark purposes. She must prove herself to me before I will totally trust her. I sense that my problems will be solved easily if I have someone like Alicia who can help me. Alicia is not completely immoral because she asked for my forgiveness because she always seemed to irritate me and cause problems. She explained that she just needed someone who could help her with her problems.
I went towards the balcony and sat down in my favorite spot. Looking at the pile of snow where the guard has been buried, I cannot forget that guard, though it has been a month since he died. The snow will disappear soon and the grass will grow, but my regrets will just stay if I am always thinking about this thing.
Alicia suddenly showed up on my front and said, “I know that you are now thinking again about the guard that you killed, but don’t worry too much because I can help you forget him.”
I looked at her and asked, “How can you help me?”
“That’s so easy, Sheena. You just need to make yourself busy.”
“But how can I make myself busy?” I asked back. I sense that there is something that she wants me to do. As might be expected, she will only use me for her own benefit.
“Do you remember what I said about there being something you can do to break the curse?” She sat down on the concrete-hard chair at my right side.
Her words sound interesting, especially since my sole aspiration is to get rid of the curse, the curse that also came from her. I am experiencing a dilemma this time. Probably, she won’t tell me anything without expecting an exchange or she can also benefit from what she wants me to do. But as long as I can do it, I will never waste an opportunity to find out what I need to do to get rid of it.
“Tell me what I need to do to get rid of this.” I asked.
“I am sure that you can do this thing, but you need to be strong because it was not just a simple thing.”
I replied, “I thought you knew me for a long time. I also thought that you knew my weaknesses and courage.”
“But this thing–I don’t know–if it will conquer you, your weakness or courage, because I observe that you are not showing your courage and weaknesses to other.”
“What do you mean? Can you just tell me directly?”
“I mean, you really need courage in doing this thing, but I also knew that you have your weaknesses because nobody does not have their weakness and that might lead them to misfortune. Well, whatever your decision is, you still don’t have any other choices if you want to get rid of it.” She explained.
Though she did tell me what I needed to do. How can I understand what she means if she won’t tell me? I tried to calm myself, because I really hoped to find out about anything. Maybe what she was saying could help me to pass all the trials in doing the things that would lead me to get rid of the curse.
“Old Alicia, can you tell me about it directly? I have been listening to you, but you have not told me what to do!”
“Okay, but don’t call me ‘old Alicia’ again, because I am not as old as what you are thinking,” she replied.
“[Old]… Alicia, can you tell me how old are you?” I asked.
What kind of woman is she? Maybe she was escaping to answer my question about the curse. She did not have a plan to answer it because she was changing our topic. Well, it depends on her. If she won’t tell me, then I won’t force her. I also know that I cannot force her because she seems to be air that I cannot touch. What I can only do is to wait when she is ready or willing to say something about it.
“I don’t know my age, I never think about my age, because even if I am dead, I can consider myself as alive. But I know how old you are. You are sixteen and will become seventeen next month, right?”
“Would you tell me what will happen if I die?” I asked.
“It is just your body who will be buried, but your spirit can be brought to a place where the spirits are staying.”
A place of spirits? Is there really a place for spirits? It never came to my mind that if I died, I could consider myself alive. Maybe it was interesting to die, because I could not feel anything just like Alicia. I would just become air. But it also never comes to my mind to commit suicide or to kill myself because I am not afraid of dying, but I am afraid that Alicia was not telling the truth and instead of a paradise place, I would be brought to an inferno. I made an inference that maybe it was magical in the place of spirits and that all the spirits of people were brought there. I need to learn more about it, I need to know what is going on in this world, I need to know about the place of spirits.
But our conversation will be just a waste of time because Alicia won’t tell me more about anything. Instead of explaining something to me, she will make me baffled. I know that everyone has their own demeanor, and the demeanor of this woman was so selfish. Everything that she was doing was all for herself. I know her motto is to love yourself and don’t mind others. They will just become hindrances to your own interests.
She is not so selfish at all, because she considered my situation after doing things. There is just one mistake that she did and became a root of my misery. That she did not consider me before taking an action; she did not consult me about what she wanted to do. I also made one mistake. I did not consider anything that might happen before accepting the pinkish cloud. It means we both made mistakes and should help each other fix what we did wrong.
“You’re lulled there. If you have questions, just ask me,” Alicia said. If she wouldn’t ask, she did not know that I had too many questions, that I wanted to ask her. But it is just her who does not have a plan to answer them.
“Alicia, I have an important question, and I hope that you will answer it honestly,” I replied, then winked my eyes.
“Then tell me what it is and I will answer you if I can.”
“Do you really know who killed my parents?” I widened my eyes. “Please tell me who they are.”