Haig
I know that if a couple does not really love each other, there is a high possibility that they will be broken. Because even they are already married, change is inevitable. There is a big chance that your wife or husband will be out of zest when s/he is with you. That can be a reason for separation. Just like what happened to my friend’s parents.
I was going back home when I saw my friend, France Lim. It’s been many days after the last time I saw him. He is not going to school anymore, and I don’t know what was the reason. I don’t want to make an inference about him, because it is not my business if whatever he wants to do.
He was sitting on the black bench near to the gate of their house. I went towards the bench and sat down there too. Walking back and forth from home and school can make you tired, even though it is just five-hundred meters away. Someday, if I become rich, I will buy a lot of transportation so that the students in the next generation won’t have to exert effort or waste time walking.
“Hey bro, why are you not going to school anymore?” I asked.
France had changed. He seemed to have his own world. He is just playing games on his phone. We are different from each other because I never did touch a phone ever since I was born because I know that we are just poor and I don’t want my parents to waste their money for that. Well, I don’t need a phone to live in this world.
Maybe he was not going to school because nobody wanted to support him. He had told me once that his father did not care about them. Everything was his father’s mistake, because if he had not cheated, they would have been a happy family until now. I noticed that this curse did not hurt those good people. Maybe if it thought that somebody was fighting, it would force it to do something so that the fight would stop. However, I cannot let it be because they are still humans.
He did not answer me, and it seemed that he did not have a plan to go back to school anymore. Maybe he was addicted to playing Mobile Legends. Though I don’t have a phone, I can still hear those games that they are playing because of the students in school that will ask others to join them in playing Mobile Legends—after class and even sometimes during class. Even our teachers sometimes play (Mobile Legends) with the students too.
“France, are you just okay?” I asked again. But he does not say anything. His eyes are just looking at his phone, and his fingers are tapping the its screen. Maybe it was very difficult because he has no parents anymore. What he only has is his elder sisters and brother, but he also told me that he is not intimate with them.
“Okay, if you will not talk with me, then I will go now. Good bye,” I said. Someone says that those who cannot understand your silence surely cannot understand your words. Maybe he just needs time to think, but he is not thinking if he just plays a game all day. I don’t care. His life is not my life.
Therefore, I stood up, carried my blue backpack, and continued walking down the street. France had really changed. Before, every time that I would say or ask something, he would always say something as a reply, but now he seemed not to befriend me. However, I know that I cannot blame him. I must be the one to be blamed because I was the reason why his mother died. It was all my mistake that he is now doing this.
Even though I won’t say that I don’t care about him, my conscience is telling me that it is all my mistake. He was so kind to allow this to happen; he was the one who protected me from bullies since I was a child. Whereas, it does not come to my mind that his mother will die because of this body that I have. I am curious about why I had not seen his mother before, and that is why I had not identified the woman.
Now I realize that it is really hard to move on from the death of someone you love. Before, I believed that others were just saying that the death of their beloved was causing them to be depressed, though they were the ones depressed because their beloved did not want to see them sad. Those who have died also don’t want to die, but what else can they do if fate is against them? That they are wasting their time on someone they care about who has already found peace in the land of spirits. They are really not meant to live longer in this world.
One more thing: dead people receive more flowers than living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude. That is the reason why we need to spend more time with someone we love, because we don’t know if when we die, and it is inevitable.
France is really lamenting because I can still hear what he was talking about, even though I am far from him. He was so pitiable. Maybe he was thinking that nobody cared about him and he was alone. He does not know what to do anymore. He told me once that he was not lamenting his mother too much. He told me that he knew that this thing would happen and had prepared for it, but it seemed that he had underestimated the change.
There is one more thing. I realized that it is weird because there are many things that I can hear, such as people fighting, laughing, crying, teasing, etcetera. The noise is getting louder and louder.
It is incredible and cool, but I know that there is a bad effect to it. There are many weird things that have happened to me ever since the old man demonstrated. Maybe it is not only this, maybe there are many things that will happen. It was all my mistake that I agreed to have the bluish cloud without thinking. But everything is done, and I can’t go back in time and fix what I screwed up.
It made me baffled. I cannot think well. My head is aching, and it seems that the whole world is talking in my ear. Even when I covered my ears, I could still hear it. There are many things that will be affected by this. Maybe I better go home now, so that I can find a way to stop this.
After a few minutes of walking, the noise had disappeared. I realized that it was really hard to hear the whole world because everyone seemed to have problems. Many people are sulking anywhere.
I am already in the front of our house. I open the wooden gate that is shorter than me and go towards the house. The door is just open. It is good to know that my mother is not scared of the person who killed the two women. Before even it is still afternoon, my mother is already closing the door, and even my father was infected by my mother’s smartness and bravery.
It was pretty clear that if we made one wrong decision in a temporary situation, it could affect our whole life. It sometimes happens when we feel difficulty in that kind of situation. The reason that triggered us to make a wrong decision and cling to the sharp sword without thinking that we might tear it up. The only thing that was on our mind was to escape from a certain difficulty or to stop it. We do not think that there are other solutions to our problems. We cannot see it because we are blinded by the negativity and refuse to look at the positive side or effect of the situation. I do know that in every situation there was a positive effect, though it was the most difficult situation in our lives.
Here I am again in the grassland, the place where whatever problem you have, the nature will absorb it. The breeze will chill you through the bone and help you forget your problems. Lying on the carpet-like evergreen grasses that seemed to creep and tickled your face. I believe I am loved when I am completely alone with myself.
Everything seemed to come back to its normal condition. Unlike before, everything seemed to avoid me, because of the sin that I committed. Now I realize that this is exactly the situation when we carry hatred for somebody inside our hearts. People are the same with nature, that the stench of hatred will contaminate their hearts and they will carry it with them wherever they go. It seemed like a rotten potato. If we could not tolerate its smell for just a week, we could not imagine what it would be like to have a stench of hatred in our hearts for a lifetime.
I am thinking about the noise that is chattering in my ears. Just lucky, because now I knew how to control the noise that I heard. Maybe it is also a power, a power that only limited people can have. It is more simple than what I am thinking, because I don’t need to be angry to make it quiet. It will leave me in volition if I don’t want to hear it. It was a new power that I could hear anyone, even in faraway places. This power is not just simple because the person who has it can do many things, such as helping people that are in need, and it can be a way to make the world a better place.
Maybe this kind of power also came from the old man, but there is also a possibility that it did not come from him. If this power came from him, maybe it would have shown up to me earlier. Time flies. It has been a month since the time that he gave me the bluish cloud.
If this power does not come from him, there is a possibility that my inference is true (that I am not a normal human.) But what do I become if I am not a human? Maybe a superhuman! Who was destined to save the world from the darkness? I am out of rationalization if I am always prioritizing myself and believing that my dreams will come true. It might happen that everything will be the opposite of what I am thinking. So I must consider it because it is not based on certainty.
The jangles of people beside my ear dragged me from thinking. I don’t know what it wants to indicate, but I am sure that there are troubles somewhere. But I only knew where the noise came from, but it seemed near. Well, I don’t need to worry anymore about how to get there because the bluish cloud has shown up. It made a whirling hole where the strong force came from and pulled me.
Just a few seconds later, I fell down in the crowd of people. It seemed that the bluish cloud brought me to a fiesta or a party instead of bringing me to the place where there were troubles. I had been thinking that it would become bloody if this happened because I could not control my body. Well, I am not underestimating it, but I know that it won’t happen because I cannot fight against the crowd of people, and I also don’t want to die.
Many people say that if you can not control something, it will be the one to control you. And they were right, because I am experiencing this thing too. But it is not as easy as you think. It was so hard to control my body when it wanted to move by itself.
Definitely, there is something that I need to do in this place. But I know that it was not me who needed to do something in this place, but the curse that came from the old man. Because if I can only control my body at all time, I will never hurt other people as long as they are not doing wrong to me. As long as the power of the old man that entered my body won’t control me, I won’t do anything wrong to the people around.
It is the curse that needs something from me, and not me from it. I just agreed with the old man because of my situation at that time. (That there are many bullies that are trying to hurt me.) Because I also want to be a superhero and nothing else, as the old man told me. But everything was done, and I accepted that everything that was happening to me was all my mistake and not the fault of others.
Now, the curse starts to control me. I can feel that there is something creeping in every vein of my body. Because it was replacing the blood in my body with gas, I knew it was the reason the curse had taken control of my body. I am just hoping that the curse won’t enter my heart and brain, otherwise I don’t know what will happen to me.
The curse in my body seemed to be plotting something ridiculous. It is already night in this place, but there are many people around. My feet walked on and left the crowd. Maybe it was an allergic reaction in the crowd. Or it is just that you cannot do anything bad to anyone here because there are many people and security guards around.
I don’t know what the reason for the crowd is, but I sense that maybe it is just a party because everyone is wearing formal clothes. I felt uncomfortable that I was the only one who was wearing blue trousers and a white shirt, and some of the people around me were looking at me. I seemed to be a zombie that was just looking downwards and walking slowly around the place.
It is the second time that something has brought me to these other places. Firstly, it was the swarm of flies that brought me to the place where I had my first kiss, but I did not mean to kiss that woman, and most importantly, she is not the woman that I like. But it appeared that I enjoyed kissing her lips and would like to do so again.