Sheena
What on earth that there are too many other people–but why me? Is there no other beautiful girl in this world that all the punishments was given to me? After many times that the old woman—who looks like a hag—cheated me many times; that ugly woman may cheat me again. She is so hateful that she cannot see the wrong things that she did.
I will never trust anyone, especially those boys, because they will just fool me. I will just spend my time doing anything that can make me happy and/or where I can get a benefit. I will not look for those things that I don’t have; instead I will be content with what I have. I realized that the more I search for something, the more it becomes impossible to gain.
Well, what happened does not show a bad result from all angles. There are always positive sides to every situation. Now, I don’t need to worry about negotiating with Nick’s parents anymore, and I won’t think about that boy anymore. Especially since I know nothing about the way my parents ran a business, I might just lose something.
Sitting on the porch and looking outside the open gate. The gate was made of a metal bar that was black-painted. Look everywhere but in the spots where there is thick lying snow and hard, solid ice. The spot where a heinous crime was committed by my hands many days ago. Maybe the worms are now eating the flesh of the guard, a pitiable guard who did nothing wrong to me. These problems were unavoidable, because even if I just sleep about them, they will find a way to show themselves to me, even in my dreams.
Minutes elapsed, and I heard a sound that seemed to be a walking horse. I was not wrong. There was a horse that was carrying a carriage that had stopped in front of our gate. The handsome man had gone out of the carriage. I didn’t know who he was. Maybe he was just one of the workers, or acquaintances of my workers. I know that sometimes the acquaintances of my workers also visit them, especially if there is something important.
The handsome man is wearing a gray shirt and a white skirt with a collar and boots. He went towards the gate and pressed the button to make the doorbell ring. He looked innocent and kind. Maybe he was also respectful and clever because he did not enter the open gate. But I don’t want to judge him too soon. He must prove himself to gain the trust of others. He cannot please everyone. Nobody heard the doorbell. Everyone was busy. That is why I donned my cork-soled boots and went towards the gate.
Holding the bar of the gate and attempting to say a word, “Who are—” I had not finished my word when he interrupted.
“Good afternoon, miss beautiful. If I was not wrong, you are the princess in this huge mansion. Am I right?” He slowly held my hand and kissed it. I abruptly removed my hands from his dry lips and said, “Sorry, but you don’t need to do that. I am not really a respected girl.” He stood up straight and firmly, like a hard tree, and looked at me with both eyes.
“Your eyes are both so beautiful, can I know your name?”
I replied, “I am Sheena Breaks.” Maybe something broke inside of him when he heard me say my name. But it was not my fault if I had this kind of name. I know that it was not eligible because I am so beautiful to have this name. But as my dad said before, “The characteristics of a person cannot be judged through his or her appearance and name.”
A respectful person won’t judge others by their names or appearance. If they are respectful, they won’t say anything bad about others. My father also told me that one can only gain respect and real power if he or she also respects themselves and the people around them.
The man got something from the thick ice. He stood up and looked at my eyes again. He had light, brown eyes, a high, Roman nose, high eyelashes, pink lips, thick eyebrows and some hairs on his cheeks and chin. He has a brooding shoulder that carries a gray backpack.
“Miss Sheena Breaks, can I wear you this necklace?” He raised a necklace on my front. It was shining, though there was no sunlight now. I know that the necklace was mine and I inherited it from my mother whom she said that she had inherited from her mother and so on. I also knew that the necklace was so expensive, because it was made of rare metal. I promised my mom that whatever happened, I would not pawn it, because no necklace is the same with it. This necklace is very rare. My mother was right, because even me, this necklace–I can smell the memories of the mother of my mother, the mother of my grandmother, the mother of my great grandmother, and so on. …
I got the necklace from his hand, but inadvertently his hand held my hand too. After some seconds, my world stopped turning around. He said, “Sorry, I did not mean it.” He removed his hand from mine and looked away.
I wear the necklace all by myself. I was still lucky that I had not lost it. Also, my mother will definitely show me again and she might cut my neck and say, “you are a careless girl. If your neck was not attached to your body, you have already lost it too.”
The man was still not looking away, until he turned back and I had slipped off the reverie. He wasn’t old at all, perhaps he belonged in his early twenties, and he was so attractive that he had captured both my eyes and my heart. But the thing that I loved about him was his demeanor. He was so respectful and gentle that I witnessed his transformation even though we had just met.
I came back to my consciousness when he said, “Miss Sheena Breaks, my friend that is working here told me that you need someone who can work for you, may I apply?”
“Um… yeah! I need someone who can work for me because there are many jobs that are just waiting here. Just go to Amara Spicy if you want to apply, she will supervise you.”
“Okay, miss beautiful.” He turned to leave when I stopped him. “Wait, can you tell your name to me? So that we can get to know each other, because it was unfair that I was the only one who told you who I am and I know nothing about you.”
He turned back and said, “I am Steven Klee. You may call me Steve or whatever you want. Miss Sheena Breaks.”
“Okay Steve, you may now go. Maybe Amara is inside the kitchen of the mansion.”
He showed me his most beautiful smile that I have ever seen, and he turned to leave. His backpack seemed to be heavy because it was bulky, and I also noticed on his face that he was exhausted. Maybe he came from a far place. I am not totally merciless that I won’t accept him to work here, or else he will go back shrugging.
The appearance of a handsome man cannot be erased in my mind. The way he kissed my hand, the way he looked at me, and the way he showed his beautiful smile to me. What should I think about that man? What a dimwit I am. How can I fulfill my promise (that I won’t trust and be closed to anyone) if I am showing the fragile version of myself again? The same with the glass that is so easily broken and, after being broken, can be repaired again, and the pain that I got will stay forever. But I don’t worry too much because if the glass had broken, it could have been used for other things. Maybe that’s the thing that really meant for me. How monotonous life is.
Sitting on the upholstered chair inside my spacious bedroom. Maybe the life of a poor person is more exciting than the life of a wealthy one. It is just the same with the stories about the poor people who have strived hard to become rich. They study hard, do part-time jobs to maintain themselves in school and also help their families. Until someday, they become rich and live a happily ever after.
This life that I have does not have even a little excitement and surprises. What I only have is sadness, monotonous and full of melancholy and lament. Every time I woke up, I could only see the white-painted ceiling. After the day passed by, I went towards my window and thought again about what had happened yesterday, finding the mistakes and hoping that they would not happen again in the present or in the future.
Someone said that the whole universe will conspire with you if you believe in the beauty of your dreams. They will help you achieve them. What if there is also someone who wishes and believes that you cannot achieve your dreams instead of believing that you can? Those people that won’t support you, are afraid of what you might become.
Maybe those are the reasons why my dreams are hard to come true. My dreams will never come true, even if eons have elapsed, because a powerful woman has conspired with the universe to make my life worse.
In my heart, my dreams are just simple. I just want to be simple and to live a simple, a peaceful and happy life. I also want to give justice and equitability for my parents’ deaths, but it seems that I cannot give it to them anymore because the whole universe is conspiring to make foes and hindrances in my way. It’s been a month since the death of my parents, but until now I had not gotten any information about the killers. I know that after months have elapsed, the death of my parents will be forgotten by everyone, and even those police who are giving attention to their death will just let the thing fly with the cold breeze.
Why am I thinking of those things without even thinking about the people whom I killed without showing any mercy? Well, I don’t need to feel sorry for them because I am not the one who really killed them, but the old woman who looks like a demon. Maybe this was my fate, to be a girl who could do nothing but follow the will of the wind. To dream and dream as if I could live forever and not die as a fool. Perhaps Amara was correct when she said it was different to have a teacher rather than teach myself for the things that could challenge me.
I was alone in this room again. It seemed like I was making myself a prisoner, though there was a huge space outside and anywhere. There are too many things that will come inside my mind if I go outside. There will be many things that I can remember and smell the bad memories of other people and even my parents.
From the window that was made of glass, looking at the crescent moon that hung impaled on the slender shaft of the solitary pine. I was thinking about why my parents had decided to build the mansion here, though there are just a few countable houses, people, and it is far from the city. I know that there will be more advantages in living in the city, but I also know that there are such disadvantages. It was for them to decide where they wanted to live. It is not my business anymore.
It is already evening, but it seems to be my normal day. I lowered the pink curtains and went towards the door. My bedroom became dark, but it was not the dimness that shocked me, but what I saw when I opened the door. Everything is different—what I saw is different, different from what I should see. I am not inside my mansion anymore, but in a place that I don’t know. I tried to go back and see if I could still find the door to my bedroom, but it was too late. Everything had changed, and I was lost in the darkness.
Though I was in the other places, my clothes were still the same. A black coat striped with pink fabric, a white skirt, and my pink sneakers. It made me think that I can’t really imprison myself in the bedroom because the universe will still find a way to bring me anywhere.
I knew that there was something unpleasant, unlawful, heinous, unexplainable, and always happening to me, and now it seemed to have happened again. Maybe it is now searching for a chance to happen. The sin is now waiting for me to do it. This thing will never leave me anymore, and as long as I am alive, it will pave the way for it to happen.
After a few seconds, everything around me had changed. The first thing that I saw was the blue sky with some dull white foam, as I was looking upward. The sun is already at the center of the sky. It was surprising that I could now look directly at the sun, though it was dazzlingly gold. Maybe it was also a part of my power—that I could look directly at the brightest star.
It was noon here, but when I glanced at my watch, I saw that its arms were pointing at 7:03 pm. This watch is definitely stuck and does not change its time even though I was in another place. Maybe I was very far from my town or country, because I saw no snow and ice sleet falling from the sky. There is just a concrete road and the lampposts that are aligned on the roadside.
Wow, incredible! It seemed that I could now see what was ahead, and what was beyond the wall there, and everything beyond the houses, and what was beyond the buildings, and what was beyond the huge tower. This was so incredible! Unbelievable! Indescribable feelings. I want to jump, I want to laugh, I want to shout. Until I screamed, Yahoo! I can now see things even kilometers away from where I am.