“Or are you again thinking of sacrificing yourself for the family?” As an extremely pragmatic person, Alisa found it impossible to understand this behavior and motivation. “You haven’t been forcibly detained in the Blue Moon Pack, have you?”
“Of course not!” Marvin instinctively retorted but then felt it wasn’t right. “I don’t have the intention of sacrificing myself for the family. I just feel I’m not a qualified candidate to inherit. Blue Moon Pack has done a lot for me, but I seem to have done little for the family.”
Alisa was puzzled. “You’ve clearly done a lot. Why would you say that?”
No one really thought Marvin had a significant responsibility to Blue Moon Pack; he seemed to be just the eldest son of the former alpha, Elwin. He could do what he wanted, except become the alpha. No one used the standards applied to Aldrich to judge him.
He mumbled, “As you know, I’ve always been inferior to Aldrich since childhood. Maybe I didn’t care about it as much before, but gradually, I started to. I began to compare who is better between him and me, and disappointingly, every time, I had to admit that everyone’s view was right. I can’t beat him in any aspect.”
Alisa didn’t quite understand this kind of emotion. If she had to say, she was more like the kind of person who would be considered a benchmark for comparison. However, if she suddenly became second, with someone constantly praising the first and even trying to compare her with the first, she would probably be very angry.
“Moreover, compared to Aldrich and Grace, I’ve done very little. I haven’t participated in political discussions, and I’m rarely assigned to participate in diplomacy. They all know I have a bad temper and am easily angered. I’m like a vase placed there just for show, with no practical use,” he idly played with the broccoli in his bowl, “I don’t have their lofty ideals; I’m just a clumsy ordinary werewolf.”
Alisa looked at him, as if observing a middle-aged, frustrated man who was always down on his luck, drinking and taking drugs all day, getting drunk and collapsing by the lamppost, needing someone to call the police to drag him away.
Although he hadn’t reached the stage of alcoholism and drug abuse, Alisa felt that this man was very vulnerable at the moment.
So she gently patted his head, trying to convey a comforting message. “Don’t be like this. Aldrich needs you, needs you to stabilize everyone’s emotions in the tribe when he’s not there. You’re not really useless.”
Marvin raised his eyes. “Didn’t you just say you didn’t really want me to go back?”
This guy really knows how to ruin the atmosphere. Alisa thought, no wonder Grace abandoned him.
“I didn’t say I didn’t want you to go back. I just feel that if you want to stay in the human world, you should at least tell Aldrich in advance instead of keeping it a secret.”
Marvin was still playing with the broccoli, and the particles that were not firmly attached to it were falling into the plate with his movements.
“Maybe I just want to prove to others that I’m not a selfish and willful second-generation, that I also have someone to protect and something to prove. I want to prove that, although I can never match Aldrich in ability in their eyes, my desire to protect them is no less than Aldrich’s.”
These words not only shocked Alisa but also moved her a little. She always thought of Marvin as a fool. He acted recklessly, didn’t listen to advice, liked to stir up trouble, and lacked the ability to resolve things. But, in reality, he was quite similar to this description, just with a bit of tenderness and loyalty in his bones.
Fearing that people would think he wanted to contend for the alpha position with Aldrich, Marvin rarely attended even basic tribal meetings. He didn’t want Aldrich to get hurt. So, he privately approached her, who looked like she wanted to cause trouble, even after the incident that made Aldrich follow her, a human, to leave the estate.
Clearly, he was a very big guy who was afraid of being alone.
She seemed to be starting to like this fool a little.
Therefore, she spoke softly to Marvin, “Why do you always treat yourself based on others’ expectations? You’ve clearly done it, just like I never regret what I did. Because that was the best solution I could come up with at the time. So are you.”
Their ultimate goals were actually the same. Alisa for Maggie, Marvin for Aldrich. Sometimes the processes might be different, but they achieved similar results, a kind of fate, you could say.
“For the sake of family, for the sake of loved ones. We’ve both done our best within our capabilities, but many things have their own directions of development.”
If she hadn’t interfered with Maggie, would she be better off now? Or worse? She couldn’t answer. But the only thing she could be sure of was that she wouldn’t interfere in Maggie’s life again because Maggie was now a mentally sound adult, knowing what she wanted, what she should do, and what she could do.
“We should all have our own lives and put ourselves first, so we have the strength to love others. Otherwise, it will disturb our original rationality and lead to making some wrong decisions. Isn’t that right?”
Marvin straightened his body. He seemed like a dormant mountain, now awakening.
“Should I tell him? About my thoughts, my confusion, my disdain, all my sorrows and hopes, should I tell him?”
“You’re not children anymore. You should trust each other to make the right and appropriate choices. I think in your heart, you see Aldrich as a child because he’s your younger brother. So even if he becomes the alpha, there’s a constant thought in your mind, don’t let him get hurt, don’t let him be harmed by others, you want to protect him. So your subconscious never thinks he can make decisions that satisfy everyone completely.”
Marvin seemed to understand vaguely, “Then what does Aldrich think of me?”
“He’s the same. In his heart, the older brother is a more fragile role because the older brother will always be inferior to him. So he also wants to protect you. He won’t think that a decision you make is entirely based on your consideration but rather on immature impulsiveness. You both love each other, so you’re blinded.”
People can’t always be trapped in a relationship. Slowly, this relationship will deteriorate. When that day comes, a relationship that can’t be independent of each other becomes very dangerous. Love is both the antidote and the poison. The difference lies only in the amount used.
Having seen too many painful separations and farewells in hospital beds and morgues, behind the tragedies where people couldn’t live independently of each other, were extreme emotions. Unscathed love, the greed, the unfulfilled greed, gave rise to this sadness. She understood that no matter how much you love someone, you can’t think for them, love and hate.
You can’t live on behalf of each other.