The weight of wearing a crown for the first time was immense. Often, he found himself rolling on the large bed alone, just like Maggie does now, staring at the moon for an entire night. Even with Charlie by his side and decisions not solely his own, each command he issued echoed with an undercurrent of unease.
With age, Aldrich began to realize things he hadn’t noticed before.
Even though Marvin wasn’t his biological mother, Marvin would often sneak a peek through the gap in their bedroom door. He knew Marvin wanted to play with him, but their father’s demand was for Aldrich to stay in his room and study. So, even if Marvin did come and ask if he wanted to roll on the grass together, he always had the same set of refusals: “Marvin, you should be more steady. Spend your time on meaningful things.”
Playing wasn’t necessarily meaningless, but Aldrich didn’t know how to tell Marvin he couldn’t respond to his requests. He could only use the phrases he learned from his father to fend him off.
Despite always rejecting Marvin’s advances, rejecting his goodwill, Marvin never truly held any animosity toward him. In this regard, he should be thankful for Marvin’s forgiveness.
His somewhat stubborn personality wasn’t something he developed as he grew older; it was there from the start. In his childhood, he was a guy who didn’t quite understand niceties, didn’t comprehend other people’s kindness and friendliness. Many described Aldrich as a wall made of ice. Get too close, and you’d get frostbite; try to break through, and you’d get a headache.
But back then, Marvin, like a fool, didn’t care if he often faced a tough nut to crack or if he encountered cold shoulders daily. He ran over day after day, asking him, “Aldrich, do you want to play with me?”
In his youth, Aldrich learned more about family from this brother than his father or mother. Because only a brother didn’t require him to be excellent and calm; a brother just wanted to play with his little brother.
The brother asked him, “Are you happy?”
He stiffly replied, “I don’t need happiness.”
That was a lie. Maybe a rock didn’t need happiness, but he did. He just didn’t want to see disappointment on his father’s and mother’s faces. For that, he’d rather let Marvin, his brother, return disappointed again and again.
He thought, “Marvin is my brother; he’ll surely understand me.” Understand his father’s eager expectations, understand his desire to make his parents proud.
And when he finally wore that crown, he wanted to find his closest family. But Marvin wasn’t present; he hid in Elwin’s palace, and no one knew why he didn’t come.
He didn’t say, and their father didn’t insist.
Aldrich attempted letters, calls, and messages, even sending people to find Marvin, but all in vain. Marvin refused to see him for a long time and avoided any conversation. Seeking answers, he turned to his father, but Elwin only mentioned, “The younger son in the family has become the alpha. You need to accept the disparity in his heart.”
Yet, he distinctly remembered a time long ago when he asked his father why he wanted him to become the alpha. His father’s reply was that Marvin chose to step back. If Aldrich became the alpha, Marvin would be happy for him.
So, even when he sometimes felt guilty for rejecting Marvin and thought about his father’s words, he believed, “If I work harder, Marvin will surely be pleased.” His father said that, and his father would never deceive him or fabricate lies about Marvin.
But who knew it was a lie his father concocted because he couldn’t admit that the eldest son inherited his flawed genes and couldn’t compete for the alpha position. In that moment, Aldrich understood that even his father forgot the lies he casually spoke.
He didn’t expose the truth, but disappointment filled his heart. If his greatest father couldn’t achieve absolute honesty in this world, who could he trust?
Slowly, he built up emotional defenses, no longer baring his soul to anyone. He knew these vulnerabilities could become fodder for gossip. “For many years after becoming alpha, I had no friends, no family. Only Thomas, who took care of my daily life and managed castle affairs, and Charlie and Jolie, who assisted me with various tasks. My father rarely visited. After his leg injury, he stayed mostly in seclusion, and later, Marvin also became reclusive, hardly leaving his quarters. I couldn’t find anyone to share my troubles after becoming alpha. Everything had to be explored on my own.”
And so, he completed the self-transformation typical of a competent leader: from seeking help, seeking comfort and care from others, to giving up searching for external assistance, following only his inner thoughts. No matter what others said about him being a tyrant or using harsh words to describe him, he remained unfazed.
Expressing these feelings was challenging; admitting one’s vulnerability isn’t a skill everyone possesses. Some people never show weakness, and Aldrich, like Grace, was no exception. They both refused to reveal any discomfort in front of each other.
Their shared mindset was: “I have to do better than you think to prove my worth.” So, Grace didn’t fall in love with him, and he didn’t fall in love with her. He respected Grace internally, admired her ability to find solutions in any adversity. It was pure respect without love. He couldn’t imagine kissing Grace affectionately or spending a night sitting on the grass together, gazing at the stars, feeling no awkwardness just lying together.
Their union was rigid and formalized. He could sense Grace’s entire body tensing with each lovemaking session. Neither of them felt they could take a step further toward each other, crossing that line of mutual respect.
In the end, when Grace discovered he couldn’t have offspring with her, she left him without looking back. It was nearing the election for the wolf king, and an alpha without a mate had a hard time gaining voter support. Despite the crisis, he breathed a sigh of relief.
Grace leaving was, in a way, a good thing for both of them. However, he hadn’t anticipated the events that would unfold after her departure. Lacking Urania’s ability to foresee the future, he could only focus on the present. But the present often left him feeling irritable because the unpredictable environment made him uneasy. Especially in his role as an alpha, every decision he made required careful consideration. Could he make this decision? What would be the consequences, and were they ones he could bear?
Maggie had some reservations about his unintentional harm to Grace, but he still didn’t see himself at fault. Marvin criticized him as a cold-blooded beast, his heart only for power or slaughter. He didn’t bother explaining, letting Marvin remain ignorant of the darker corners of this world, which, for him, wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
He bore all the unfavorable outcomes according to his standards. It was the decision-making burden of someone in a high position.
If he were a god, he would choose to carry the sins of everyone to the end.