Gosh, I felt so miserable. “Evie I …”
“You knew since yet you never told me… I kept on asking you, mummy.” She was crying now.
“I’m so sorry Evie,” I said crying
“Why would you do that Mummy? Now I know I was just a mistake.” Her words burnt my heart, hearing her say all that crying made me feel ten times worst.
“God, Evie no, you’re not a mistake,” Kel stressed
“You never wanted me, none of you did” she was sobbing now.
“Evie, don’t say that,” Kel said trying to soothe her pulling her close but she pushed him off and it was then I saw the tears slip.
“Every time I asked about him you never told me, you said you never told him either.”
“I didn’t know how to.” I cried out frustrated.
“You should have just said that,” she shouted hysterically.
Me saying I’m sorry can’t even begin to cut it.
“I hate you mummy, the both of you. ” she sobbed at going upstairs. The way she said it, I couldn’t handle it.
“Evie, I’m sorry,” I said crying. God, what have I done?
We both decided to follow her upstairs.
“Get away from me.” She said throwing her toys and teddy bear and one of the sharp points of a toy hit my head giving it a cut. She didn’t mean to I know that but I didn’t expect what she said next.
“Serves you right.” She said when she noticed it, it was bleeding then.
“Evie calm down, stop throwing things.” Kel cautioned.
“Don’t talk to me, you don’t have the right to” she shouted and that hurt Kel a lot because it was very obvious in his expression.
“You can say whatever you want to say to me, throw whatever you want at me, leave Kel out of it”
“I thought you loved me, mummy, if you did you wouldn’t have done this” she sadly said.
“Of course I love you, Evie, I’m..”
“Just go.” She tiredly said and when none of us moved she shouted, “get out”
We left the room and she slammed the door locking it and I just sat outside the room crying.
“All I ever wanted was a family with you Shayan but it seems like you’ve just ruined it.” Kel sadly said.
This was the first time for me to see him this way, he looked so sad, his eyes were puffy and I regretted making them feel this way.
“Kel I’m…” I started saying but he just walked out, entering his room and slamming the door.
I’ve never felt as miserable as I’m feeling now. I didn’t mean to hurt either of them but now I had and I was regretting it. They were right, I should have found a way to tell them and now they both hated me. Hearing Evie say those words to me felt worse than heartbreak. The way she assumed she was a mistake and when she said she hates me it deeply hurt. I didn’t blame her though, it was all my fault.
KEL’S POV
I planned a trip for us back to Paris because I felt guilty that she didn’t get to explore the city when last we came. Now I understand what she meant when she said “You don’t know yet, you’d hate me when you do and leave.”
I should have asked about it when she said. ” You weren’t there Kel, you weren’t there when we needed you the most.”
The night of our date was when I became suspicious when Drake pulled me to talk.
” Dude, you never told me you had a daughter. ” he seriously said
” That’s because I don’t,” I replied chuckling.
“Oh.” He said looking at me confused. ” Who’s the little girl then? ”
” She’s Shayan’s sister,” I answered and he laughed
” Did she tell you that cause I’d have sworn that she’s yours? ” I stopped to think. Shayan never told me that Evie was her sister, I assumed that Jesus, could the speculation be true?
I looked over at Shayan and Evie, Shayan was carrying her stroking her hair and Evie was fast asleep. Her brown hair was in contrast to Shayan’s pitch black hair and none of her parent’s hair was that colour. Her nose and lips reminded me of Tess’s when she was younger and there was the birthmark. How did I never connect the dot? Evie is my daughter?
My head was spinning around, obviously, Shayan would have told me if she got pregnant and had my child right? She wouldn’t do that to me.
We left his place and all I did was think. If Evie was sick then she got pregnant when we were still in high school, all those years and she never said a word about it. Immediately we got back to NY I did a DNA test. I had carried a strand of her hair when she slept. On the day I was to collect it I was nervous, I didn’t know what to do if she was truly mine. I got the result and it showed she was mine. I didn’t even know what to feel, was it supposed to be happiness, anger, sadness, pain? It was a mixture of all. I couldn’t believe that Shayan kept me in the dark about her. She of all people know how I wanted to be there for my child every step of the way. I didn’t want to be like my father that never cared about his kids. I wanted to witness everything about her while she was growing now I lost all her firsts. I wasn’t there in the
labour room to welcome my child to the world, I didn’t see her first smile, laugh, crawl, walk, I missed out on her life and it was all Shayan’s fault.
I couldn’t go home then, I was furious. I went back to work and tried to do something but I could barely focus. Frustrated I went home and Shayan came out to hug me.
“Kel, I was so worried about you”. She said and I mentally rolled my eye. I didn’t put my arms around her and she looked up at me with worry.
“Is everything alright? ” she asked and I snapped.
“You tell me. Why would you do that to me, Shayan, why? “I angrily asked.
” What are you talking about Kel? “She asked looking confused I can’t believe she was playing dumb right now and it annoyed me further.
“When the hell were you planning to tell me that Evie was our daughter? “I angrily asked
The expression on her face would have been laughable if I was in a good mood she was beyond shocked probably trying to figure out how I knew and that’s when I threw the DNA test to her face.
All these discoveries were shocking. Getting to know I had a child, that Shayan never cheated on me, that it was all Carlos fault, I was mad at him and myself. I’d never be able to forgive myself if she had committed suicide if she had lost her life and our daughter’s, most especially if it was because of me.
I never expected today to turn out as it did. I didn’t even know what to think, what to do. In as much as I’d like to blame Shayan, I couldn’t. If I hadn’t pushed her out she’d have told me, we’d have gone through it together but now we all are just broken and nothing breaks like a heart. I realized it was hard for her too, me she Evie finding out the way we did, us pushing her out, it wasn’t good for her.
Sighing I went to the bathroom and got my first aid kit before going to where Shayan sat crying. How much I hated seeing her in tears. I sat down beside her and it was then she noticed my presence.
“Kel I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” she said crying
“Shh. It’s ok.”I said hugging her.
“Now you’re going to hate me and leave me.”
“I don’t hate you Shayan, I can never hate you and I’m not going to leave you. Yes I’m really mad at you but not up to the anger I feel for myself. I shouldn’t have treated you like that, pushed you out. You don’t know how much I’m regretting it. I might be hurt right now and all but like you said it’s not a teeny bit up to the one I caused you, I’m so sorry Shayan.” I sincerely said hugging her.
“I’m sorry too.” She said as I stroked her hair.”Do you think we can get past this?” She asked hopefully.
“We will Shayan,” I answered and she nodded.
We just stayed like that, we were both sitting on the floor. Her head was on my shoulder while I rested my head on hers and had my hands around her. We said nothing but there was this little ray of hope that all will be okay.