Lilly POV
I kept tossing on the bed till it was finally daybreak. Standing up from the bed, I dashed into the bathroom and had a quick bath, dressed up, and left the dorm. I need to go home and see my mom, I need to feed my curiosity, I don’t know what I’m thinking, I need her to look into my eyes and tell me that my dad wasn’t killed by vampires.
Stepping out of the dorm, I took a cab to the bus stop, where I took a bus that was going to our place. I rested my head on the window, tears dripping from my eyes uncontrollably, just the thought of it gave me goosebumps. My dad was the best man any family can ever ask for, he loved us with everything in him, he’d do anything for us, and just one day, he left and never came back. When I saw the mark on dad’s neck years ago, mom had told me that it was nothing, I grew up believing her, I can’t imagine that she lied to me.
After two hours of drive, the bus finally stopped and I stepped out with my bag hanging on my shoulder. My eyes brimmed with tears, but I fought them back. The sound of my ringing phone brought me to an abrupt halt, and bringing it out of my pocket, it was Nina that called. I’m in no mood to talk to anyone, so I just ignored the call. I stood at the side of the roadway for a few minutes, trying to flag down a cab, and after flagging down about four that all ignored me, I finally spotted a red taxi driving toward my direction, and I quickly flagged it down. I hopped in and gave him my address.
All through the drive, my gaze was outside the window, tears kept falling from my eyes as the memories of dad flashed through my mind. Just the thought of how he used to take us out, how he used to play with us, just the thought of it hurts. I managed to get over it over the years, but what I learned earlier, brought back the memories of it like it just happened.
“We’re here.” The cabby’s voice pulled me back to reality and I quickly wiped off my tears as I stepped out of the car and paid him. Adjusting my bag on my shoulder, I stride down to our apartment, which was just down the road. It was a small old house. Walking over to the entrance door, I took a deep breath and pushed the door open. Stepping into the small living room with wooden chairs arranged neatly in a circular shape, my eyes darted to the picture of dad, hanging on the wall. A pool of tears flooded down my cheeks, as I slowly clenched my fists.
The footsteps drawing close behind me pulled my attention, as mom’s scent filled the air. I didn’t need to turn to look at her, as I could already tell from her scent. I heard her footsteps halt abruptly, and slowly, I heard it again but this time it was steady.
Slowly, I turned around to face her. She was wearing a purple blouse and a loose skirt, her skin was rough and looked unkept, her raven hair was falling freely over her shoulders, her deep blue eyes conveyed the pain she was suffering inside, her skin was pale and she looked like she was sick. This is what she had always been through from the day we lost dad, she goes around putting on a smile and pretending like everything is fine, she cries her eyes out at nights and smiles at us, just so we won’t know that she was going through a lot, the pain she had to hide because of us, the tears she had to fight back whenever she misses her beloved husband, the ache she carries around in her heart, just the thought of it all breaks my heart into pieces.
“Li… Lilly…” Again, she put on a smile. The tears that were trying to fall from her eyes moments ago have all disappeared. Is she so good at hiding her pain? This is why the whole world doesn’t know what she’s going through.
“It’s OK to cry, mom,” I said almost in a whisper, but loud enough for her to hear me.
“You don’t have to hide your pain, you don’t have to pretend you’re fine, you don’t have to pretend everything is fine, and carrying the burden all alone. Why not just let this out? You’re dying inside, mom…” My voice trailed off, as I broke down in tears. It hurts seeing her like this, but too bad that I can’t take her pain away.
“What are you talking about, huh? Come on dear, come over here. Are you OK? Why are you crying? Did anyone hurt you?” She asked wearing a smile, as she held my hand and led me to sit on one of the chairs while giving me a questioning look.
“Why are you here? Are you out of foodstuffs? You didn’t have to come around, you could’ve called me to bring it around for you, princess.” She spoke softly, as she cupped my cheeks in her palms, staring at me with a smile on her face, but behind that smile, I see a woman fighting to be ok, I see a strong woman, trying to envelop her pain within her and show to the world that she can handle the pain.
“Mom…” I called and trailed off. As much as I want to ask her to her face, why she had to lie to me, why she kept it a secret from me all these years, why she has been dying in silence and kept me in the dark, I tried to hold myself back, I didn’t want to hurt her with my words, it’d hurt her if I talk to her harshly.
“Yes dear, are you OK?” She asked, looking all worried.
“Why did you lie to me?” I asked after a long silence, my gaze staring intently at dad’s picture, and her hands dropped from my cheeks, I guess she already know what I was talking about…