The two sleeping pills obviously hadn’t been digested yet. As Winifred retched, a bitter taste mixed with acidity and stress filled her throat, and tears flowed from her reddened eyes. The effort of retching had drained all her strength.
Struggling to keep her balance, Winifred’s low blood sugar and lack of nutrition made her legs tremble. She knelt down, her back against the frosted glass, gasping for air with her lotus-colored lips slightly parted.
She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there until her legs started to feel numb. Winifred finally stood up and looked at herself in the mirror; she could hardly recognize herself anymore.
Three hundred and sixty days not only brought age, but also temperament.
If the previous Winifred was a red rose blooming in the sunlight, she was now a poisonous mushroom in a dark and damp place, exuding a vivid red but toxic appearance.
Winifred was slim, wearing a long-sleeved pajama to cover herself, but the pajama was loose and it seemed she had lost some weight. The neckline was loose, and as she bent over, the neckline sagged, revealing the scratch marks on her collarbone.
She touched it. This was a bite mark. She tried to scratch it until it bled, but the mark wouldn’t completely disappear.
Winifred looked at her wristwatch. She had given up taking it off. She couldn’t let herself sacrifice her hand just to remove the watch.
People who didn’t know her thought she liked to wear the watch every day. In reality, Winifred hated it, just like she hated Leland. But she couldn’t take it off.
Thinking about Leland led her back to the humiliations and pain he had brought her. She returned to her bedroom and swallowed two more sleeping pills.
She fell asleep not long after closing her eyes, but Leland’s figure filled her dreams. It was like being back on that yacht a year ago, the ship rocking forcefully, with the man clinging to her like a hungry ghost, calling her name over and over again. She wanted to open her eyes, but she couldn’t escape being trapped in his embrace.
Winifred woke up from the nightmare. It wasn’t yet dawn. She sat on the edge of the bed, blankly staring. After a while, she stood up, grabbed a bottle of vodka, a high-proof alcohol.
She didn’t like drinking such high-proof alcohol because it was harmful to her body, and she didn’t like the pungent smell. But after downing a sip, the spicy sensation from her tongue moved to her throat, and her entire chest seemed to burn.
She began to enjoy the feeling of self-torture. Alcohol could numb the nerves, and higher proof alcohol was more effective at that.
After three sips, she couldn’t take it anymore. Winifred vomited on the floor and then started laughing. After laughing for a while, she held her head and cried, pulling at her hair.
Her severe emotional instability, resulting from her bipolar disorder, made her mood extremely erratic. She enjoyed tormenting herself whether she was happy or sad.
Winifred frequented the hospital again, without telling Garrison because she was afraid he would worry.
The doctor prescribed medication for her and advised her to stop drinking alcohol.
Winifred asked the doctor, “Is there hope for me to recover from this illness?”
Bipolar disorder is difficult to self-heal and often accompanies a person for life once diagnosed. Those who don’t understand this psychological illness think it’s just a challenging personality to deal with.
The doctor said, “You need to learn to regulate yourself, such as diverting your attention through learning and releasing emotions through exercise. It would be better if you were willing to talk about your experiences with me.”
Winifred refused. She didn’t want to talk about her suffering as if it were an illness.
Every illness has a cause and needs to be resolved from the root. If it can’t be resolved, it becomes a deadlock.
September 30 arrived, which was a Sunday.
The Reeves family had booked a hotel private room. There were several Azure Hotels in Midlands, located in different areas.
The Reeves family mentioned the Azure Hotel but didn’t specify which one.
However, on that morning, a driver would pick her up and take her to the hotel.
In addition to arranging the driver, the Reeves family also prepared a dress for her, a light yellow cheongsam.
Garrison called to ask if she liked it.
She looked at the dress on the bed, feeling very reluctant to wear it. But she couldn’t bear to reject Garrison’s kindness with cold words.
“It’s quite nice.”
Garrison sighed in relief. “The dress was selected by my mother as your birthday gift. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you wear a dress, and I was worried that my mother’s gift would be unwelcome.”
Cheongsam was more conservative with a high neckline that reached the neck, completely covering the collarbone, and the skirt reaching the ankles, subtly revealing the calves.
“Thank your mother for me. I really like it.”
The call ended, and Winifred picked up the cheongsam on the bed. It was a light yellow cheongsam with delicate hand-embroidered flowers. Looking at the flowers on the skirt, Winifred felt it resembled camellias.
It instantly triggered Winifred’s unpleasant memories.
She put on the cheongsam. It fit her perfectly, as if it were tailored for her. The neckline covered her chest and thighs, very conservative.
Cheongsam could perfectly outline a woman’s curves. At a height of 165 cm and a weight of only 90 pounds, she looked very thin. Her thinnest was 70 pounds when she looked like a skeleton, lacking any beauty, and it took six months to nurture her to this state.
After putting on the cheongsam, Winifred tied her hair up simple, put on her shoes, and went downstairs when the driver called to say he had arrived.
The nearest Azure Hotel to the apartment was 20 kilometers away and could be reached in half an hour by car.
At the hotel, the driver told Winifred to go in and mention her name to the front desk. Her reserved VIP private room was on the eighth floor.
“Have they all arrived?” Winifred asked.
“Yes, everyone is already here. This private room was booked a week in advance, and the hotel spent a lot of time decorating it, hoping that you will like it when you go in.” The server rang the bell.
The waiter inside the room opened the door. “Miss Dawson, please come in.”
The service staff who escorted her upstairs stopped at the door, bowing slightly to Winifred. “Happy birthday, and I hope you have a great time today.”