“Am I dreaming?”
“If you feel like it’s a dream, then it’s a dream.”
“Then I hope it’s not a dream,” Harry smirked, “So, you’re not dead.”
“Yes, I’m not dead. I lied to you for thirty-five years, Harry. Are you resentful of me now?”
Hattie felt that, with Harry’s personality, he would be angry, he would question, he would complain, but she did not expect the next thing Harry said.
“It’s great that you’re alive.”
Hattie was taken aback. Time really does change a person completely. The Harry standing in front of her, the one who had been entangled with her for so many years, she would even dream about him at times, was barely recognizable now.
Harry looked at Hattie. Even though she was standing right in front of him, he couldn’t even bring himself to touch her. One, he didn’t have the strength, and two, he didn’t deserve to.
He dared not even blink, afraid that the person in front of him might suddenly disappear. A grain of sand flew into his eye, and he had to close his eyes, fearing that Hattie might disappear. With trembling courage, he opened his eyes again, and Hattie really hadn’t disappeared, so it really wasn’t a dream.
He thought that during the years when Hattie was presumed dead, she had actually been living well. While he had been torturing himself in prison, had Hattie ever thought about him even for a moment? Even for a brief second?
Harry’s gaze dropped. It seemed like something sharp had pierced his eyes. Hattie had something shiny on her finger. He looked closely and saw that it was a ring, worn on her ring finger, indicating that she was married.
“Married?”
“Yes.”
“With Micah?”
“Yes.”
“Have you been happy all these years?”
“Never been happier.”
The use of “never been happier” indicated that it was better than being by his side at any time. It was good.
Harry choked, his voice hoarse and tearful. “Hattie, have you ever loved me?”
The room fell silent. He waited for Hattie’s answer. Time passed slowly. It felt like a boulder was crushing him, making it hard to breathe. Yet, while waiting for Hattie’s answer, he subconsciously held his breath.
“When I was young and didn’t understand love, I learned how to love you.” Hattie finally said what Harry had always wanted to hear.
“Harry, I loved you. Before I turned eighteen, you were really good to me. I thought that my feelings for you were just gratitude. It wasn’t until that night on my birthday when the boy who escorted me home confessed his feelings to me. I was stunned. Subconsciously, I saw your figure in my mind. It was then I realized that I liked you.”
Harry’s pupils dilated, and his breathing became difficult. He hadn’t been mistaken. The eighteen-year-old Hattie really did love him.
Hattie continued, “Harry, I once liked you, sincerely. You were my ignorant young love, and also the start of my shattered dreams. You stifled someone who liked you, sincerely. When I liked you, it was genuine, just like when I didn’t like you, it was also genuine. Later, hating you was real. But what’s the point of talking about past likes? I can’t even remember how it felt when I liked you.”
Tears overflowed from Harry’s eyes. He wanted to grip something tightly, but then he realized he was holding a photo of Hattie. He couldn’t bear it. Even if it was just a photo of her, he couldn’t bear it.
Harry had apologized too many times, but this time, he didn’t apologize. Instead, with a hoarse voice, he said, “I’ve been in great pain in prison all these years.”
Paying for self-torture, those who received the money didn’t even know that it was from Harry, and he didn’t resist each time he was bullied.
The pain in his heart was worse than the physical pain. He suddenly realized why Hattie couldn’t forgive him. His “I’m sorry” to Hattie had always seemed so ridiculous.
Prison was truly unbearable. Not to mention enduring endless misery. The thin bedding, whether in summer or winter, was so thin. The cold penetrated to the bone, which was why Hattie, who used to not mind the cold, now was terrified of it. Her hands and feet were always freezing.
He also experienced the pain of fractured fingers, the darkness of the night. He could never see a complete sky outside from the iron window. Even the most ordinary air was putrid, moldy, and occasionally had a bloody smell.
Hattie had endured over 700 days in such a place.
And he had endured thirty years.
How could Hattie not hate him? At that moment, there was no hatred on Hattie’s face. She looked at Harry calmly, as if she was facing the most familiar stranger.
“I heard that you haven’t been doing well outside.”
“Have you forgiven me then?” Harry’s voice grew weaker.
Hattie did not answer.
The window and door were wide open, and the cold wind of November blew in. The curtain rustled, and Harry lay by the window. From this angle, he could see the sky outside.
At this moment, the sky was truly blue, but Harry didn’t have the strength to open his eyes wide. He slowly closed his eyes.
“Harry, I forgive you…”
It turned out that the last sense to disappear before death is hearing.