The windows of the psychiatric hospital were sealed shut, perhaps to prevent the patients from jumping out and committing suicide.
Having lived here for so many days, Aoife often heard screams, as if suicide had become a norm.
Looking at the familiar figure downstairs, Aoife seemed to have caught the person’s gaze, and the person looked up in her direction.
Aoife did not hide, for the windows of the hospital meant that outsiders couldn’t see inside.
It wasn’t until she couldn’t see the figure anymore that Aoife turned and sat on the bed.
“Mr. Snearl.” The assistant looked at Finn, who suddenly stopped in his tracks, and called out to him in confusion.
Finn turned to look at the flashing window behind him, feeling as though Aoife was watching him from inside.
Shaking his head, Finn thought that Aoife was probably still asleep at this time, so why would she be secretly watching him?
“Let’s go.” After finishing his engagement business, he would come back to see Aoife.
He had hidden Aoife here, where she wouldn’t be found or able to escape, but he was mostly in his home country. If he wanted to see her, he had to make time, as their meetings would become fewer and farther between.
The thought of not being able to be with Aoife every day, of not holding her while she slept or eating the food she made, felt like a thorn in his heart that he wanted to remove.
He wished he could always watch over Aoife, even if it meant accompanying her to the hospital for treatment.
However, reason told Finn that this was not a good sign. He would only fall deeper into this if he let his emotions control him. Love could be dangerous, and it wasn’t something one could control.
…
“Miss Powell, why are you awake so early today?” The nurse was a middle-aged woman who charged more, afraid that no one would talk to Aoife once Finn left.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
The nurse was surprised because this was the first time she had heard Aoife speak in so long. Her voice was pleasant, but after not speaking for so long, it sounded hoarse from just waking up.
“Are you hungry? I’ll get you breakfast.”
“Okay.”
Breakfast was simple, just some millet congee with vegetables and fried eggs.
At eight o’clock in the morning, Aoife had her check-up, during which there would be no one else in the room while the doctor was counseling the patient.
Finn usually accompanied her, with occasional waits outside.
But now that Finn was gone, it was up to the nurse to stay close by her. When Aoife went into the examination room, the nurse sat on a chair in the corridor.
Aoife pushed the door open and was surprised to see someone else besides Dr. Samuel in the room.
It was the person she had met in the restroom yesterday, Hattie, Dr. Mason.
Hattie knew the person known as “Elisa,” through whom Aoife’s current life had begun. It seemed like everyone she knew had a connection to Elisa.
Since falling ill, Aoife couldn’t help but wonder, what if Elisa could take her place and live on in her stead? If so, would everything be different now?
If she died, she would donate her usable organs and all the money she had saved, even if it was the last good deed before her death.
If there were another life, she hoped to live it well, at least a little happier.
But unfortunately, there was no room for “what ifs” in this world.
“Dr. Samuel, may I have a private conversation with Aoife?” Hattie had already requested this, and Dr. Samuel had agreed.
“Not too long.”
With that, Dr. Samuel turned and opened the door to leave.
Hattie looked at Aoife and said, “We meet again. Let me introduce myself. I am Hattie, a doctor here.” She didn’t beat around the bush, believing that as adults, they should speak straightforwardly to solve problems efficiently.
“Without your permission, I took the liberty of looking into your situation. Finn is in China to get engaged. Do you want to escape while he’s away? If you want to leave, I can help you. If you want to stay voluntarily with him, then consider what I said unsaid.”
Aoife was taken aback and asked, “Why do you want to help me?”
Hattie bent down slightly, gently wiping the tears from Aoife’s eyes with a tissue. “Because you are calling for help.”
There was no need for a reason to help someone; when they call for help, you lend a hand. Aoife heard her call and reached out.
Suddenly, Aoife burst into tears, her eyes red and swollen. She reached out and hugged Hattie, burying her head in her chest. It was the first time she had cried without reservation, shaking like a blade of grass in a storm. Her voice was hoarse, crying out in pain.
Hattie, momentarily stunned, gently stroked her hair. In the midst of all the hardships, there were still people who hoped she would live on.
“Live well, live happily. You are only twenty, with a long road ahead of you. This pit you fell into was just an accident. Life is meant to experience hardships, but after today, there will still be tomorrow. The night may be tough to endure, but the morning air is refreshing, and the rising sun looks beautiful. There are still many joys you haven’t experienced yet, so don’t give up on yourself.”
It was the first time someone had comforted her with so many reassuring words, and they had only met twice.
She told her that she still had a life, a future.
Aoife didn’t cry out loud; she only gritted her teeth like a turtle retreating into its shell, her throat making muffled, choked sounds. Tears streamed down her face, as if she wanted to cry out all the pain she had been holding in for so long.
Hattie’s hands were trembling as she wiped the tears from Aoife’s face. Looking at Aoife gasping for breath and in tears, her heart ached.
Aoife needed to cry, crying wasn’t useless, and tears held their own value. It was a simple release, and after letting it all out, she would feel better.
Doctors weren’t afraid of patients crying; it was when they stayed quiet and still that it was worrisome, making them seem as lifeless as the dead.
Crying at least showed that a person was alive.
Hattie wiped the tears from Aoife’s face, and Aoife looked up at her with red eyes. She clutched Hattie’s white coat tightly, as though holding onto a lifeline.
“Dr. Mason, please help me.”
“Okay, I will help you. But you need to tell me everything so that I can help you better.”
From Aoife, Hattie learned about her background, how she met Finn, and how she ended up with him.
Initially, Finn had treated Aoife as a replacement for “Elisa” and even intended to give her to Hamish. But for some reason, he suddenly went crazy, took Aoife back after she had been kicked out and locked her in the house.
In order to prevent her from escaping, he even forced her to film degrading videos.
Aoife didn’t dare to run away, partly because of that video.
She also didn’t dare to report to the police. She knew better than anyone else that she couldn’t afford to mess with someone like Finn.
If that video were to be exposed as Finn had threatened, would she still have a future?
Aoife was timid, unable to imagine how she would cope with the consequences.
“You have to know, being filmed in such videos is not your fault.”
Dealing with people like Finn and Hamish, there was no use in confronting them directly. One had to hide and escape, change appearances for a new life. It felt powerless, but that was the reality.
How could an unimportant person without money fight against those in power?
Take Elisa as an example. She had evidence of Hamish’s abuse, yet he bribed the judge and fabricated a story about Elisa having a mental illness to easily win the case.
If, back then, she had quietly helped Elisa escape, to another country where she could live anonymously, maybe she wouldn’t have died, and her stomach cancer could have been cured.
“The mistake wasn’t yours, it was Finn’s. There was another person like you. She wanted to live but died at the age of 27. I don’t want you to end up like her.”
Hattie gently stroked Aoife’s long hair, telling her not to overthink things and that she would help her leave the hospital. What she did next was up to Aoife.
Aoife nodded, agreeing to it.
She no longer wanted to dwell on that video. As Hattie had said, it wasn’t her fault but the person who forced her to film it.
Even if those videos were released, it was still better than being Finn’s inflatable doll. Being forced to be a mistress and endure humiliation, would that be better than those videos being exposed?
She would rather be called “cheap” by others while choosing to leave. At least she could face herself with a clear conscience.