Finn used to raise a Samoyed, with its snow-white fur. Samoyeds were the hardest to raise, with their long and easily dirty white fur, shedding a lot and difficult to manage. As one of the three troublemakers, raising a Samoyed was exhausting and time-consuming.
However, Finn raised the dog for eight or nine years. No matter how tired he was when he came home, he would always play with the dog, groom it, take it to a professional vet for care, regular check-ups, grooming, and deworming…
Finn had much more patience with dogs than with Aoife.
So, one could say… Aoife really wasn’t as good as a dog by his side.
Finn’s attitude towards Aoife was like that towards a punching bag, or more specifically, a medieval maid, nameless and insignificant, an embarrassment if known to others.
Finn didn’t love Aoife, but Aoife loved him.
This fact made him blindly confident. He always thought that no matter what he did, Aoife would never leave him, unless he didn’t want her anymore and asked her to leave.
And indeed, Aoife was eventually driven away by him.
To be honest, he felt a bit lost, but loss didn’t mean attachment or deep feelings. It was simply the sudden absence of a plaything.
Like losing a toy bought in childhood, feeling the loss, which would soon be forgotten.
Even though he didn’t want Aoife anymore, Finn was confident that Aoife wouldn’t forget him.
Why? Because she was cheap.
Often, those who loved deeply were disappointed, while those loved were always complacent. If feelings were unequal, the destined outcome would be separation.
In this relationship, Aoife had never been treated fairly. She had always been alone in her playing, a humble clown.
Finn sent Aoife to Hamish, guessing that Hamish wouldn’t mistreat her, but would definitely be angry.
Finn’s favorite thing to do was to provoke pseudo gentlemen like Hamish and watch them rage in impotence.
This strategy had never changed. For example, when he wanted Hamish to bring Elisa in exchange for Lila, the means he used to torment Elisa, filming it and showing it to Hamish intentionally to provoke him, was just a game.
Or, knowing that the person who rescued Hamish back then wasn’t Lila but Elisa, not telling him and watching him regret, was also part of the game.
Setting a fire to make Elisa commit suicide, watching Hamish collapse, and revealing the truth from the past were all part of the game.
Finn’s goal was to gradually break Hamish down, turning him into a useless person, making the Burns family completely give up on him.
Who would have thought that Hamish was still fine to this day, even after Elisa’s death? He was fine.
Whenever he thought about this, he felt that Elisa’s death was truly pitiful.
Finn thought that he wouldn’t care about a little plaything like Aoife, but on the first day, his heart felt empty. He could only remind himself that it would get better with time. The current feeling of emptiness was just because he had gotten used to Aoife, thinking about not having her to take care of him and cook for him.
Finn called Hamish, but he hung up without speaking. Finn tried again, but Hamish hung up, and eventually blocked him.
After resting for a while, Finn changed his phone, inserted a new SIM card, and called again. This time, Hamish answered.
Without waiting for the other to speak, Finn lazily leaned back on the sofa, legs crossed comfortably on the coffee table, holding the phone with one hand. “Hamish, is the person I sent to you last night satisfied? Were you surprised at first sight, thinking that the deceased Elisa had returned?”
The breathing on the other end noticeably intensified, and he could feel the chill across the phone.
“This is a gift I prepared for you, Hamish. I patiently trained a double for a year. Not only does she look like Elisa, but she also plays the violin and cooks well. I keep her by my side every day, playing and sleeping with her, enjoying the treatment you used to enjoy. Not to mention, there’s a taste to it.”
“Except for a gap in personality, everything else is flawless. Oh, I even changed her name to Elisa. Isn’t the immersion stronger? Now that I’m bored of her, I’m giving her to you. Shouldn’t you thank me?”
Finn knew that Hamish loathed him the most. Not only because he caused Elisa’s death, but also because he tried to find a replacement for Elisa, keeping a woman who resembled her to play with. It was undoubtedly an insult to Hamish.
“Finn!” Hamish’s low, trembling voice came through.
Finn closed his eyes as if he could see Hamish’s expression at that moment, a satisfied smile on his lips.
“Why are you angry? Back then, you sent Elisa to me to play with. Now, why aren’t you happy that I returned an ‘Elisa’ to you?”
Before Hamish could respond, Finn saw that the call was still connected. Then, a derisive laughter from Hamish came through the phone.
“Finn, remember what you said today, don’t regret it.”
“Regret? What do I have to regret? You really think I would be your…” Before he could finish his sentence, the call disconnected with a beeping tone. Hamish hung up.
Suddenly, silence fell around Finn. He felt discomforted, looking around the empty space. It wasn’t just emptiness anymore; it was loneliness.
He remembered more than twenty years ago, waking up from a nap to darkness. The room was quiet, as if he was the only one left in the world. He called out for “Mom,” only to find a bathtub filled with red water in the bathroom, his mother lying inside.
She left him a letter and a card. He remembered that night being particularly cold, sitting on the floor, guarding the body all night before someone came the next noon to take it away.
Because he acted too calm, he was sent to a mental hospital for examination, afraid that the shock would make him lose his mind.
How could he be scared? Dead or alive, no matter the state, that was still his mother. How could he be afraid of his own mother?
He couldn’t understand why his mother brought him into this world only to leave him behind for a man, becoming a mistress and making her own child a scorned bastard.
If children could choose their birth, he believed that a large portion of them wouldn’t want to be born at all.
All these things happened a long time ago… It was said that children didn’t have memories before the age of five, but he could still remember these things vividly, even the length of his mother’s wrist scar.
“I won’t regret it,” Finn murmured. Suddenly feeling agitated, he drove to a bar. Without calling for anyone, he sat alone in the corner, drinking one glass after another. He had a high alcohol tolerance, so it took him nearly two hours to become drunk.
It was time to go back.
Finn stood up unsteadily, thinking more when intoxicated. He wondered about what Aoife would experience with Hamish, whether Hamish would really take a liking to Aoife.
Although Aoife was a timid village girl, she was attractive and had a good personality, good at taking care of people. Such a woman should have no lack of suitors.
However, he couldn’t keep Aoife by his side because he had already formed an alliance with the Dankworth family.
To secure the Burns Group in his hands, sacrificing a woman was nothing. Simply letting her go would make Finn feel like he was at a loss. Giving her to Hamish, on the other hand, could either restrain Hamish if lucky, or infuriate him if unlucky.
He wouldn’t lose either way, so why did he feel a dull ache in his heart now?
Finn couldn’t quite describe this feeling. Holding the car keys, he stumbled to his car, about to open the door when a voice sounded in his ear.
“Mr. Snearl, you can’t drive after drinking. Drunk driving is too dangerous. You have to be responsible for yourself and others’ safety.”
Finn clenched the car keys tightly, ultimately put them down, took out his phone, and called for a deadheading to pick him up.
It was lightly raining outside, but Finn didn’t find a place to sit. He leaned against the car, the cold wind blowing away the scent of alcohol on him, sobering him up. Lighting a cigarette, he smoked almost half a pack before the driver arrived.
“Mr. Snearl, where would you like to go?”
“North Bankshire.”
The drunk Finn had a sharp edge to him compared to his usual self. He put out the cigarette directly with his hand, tossing it into the trash can.
After getting into the car, he felt drowsy, leaning on the seat and dozing off until they reached North Bankshire. The driver called out to him before he woke up, his head aching and feeling dizzy.
He pressed his temple, and as the driver tried to help him out of the car, he pushed him away with one hand.
He walked in, unlocking the door with his fingerprint and shouting inside.
“Aoife, I’m thirsty. Bring me some water.”